Snarky Brides

How to make my FI feel special...(advice pls!)

Maybe this sounds silly to everyone, but I am worried about making sure my FI feels special on our wedding day. I say this because less than 15% of our total attendees will be from "his side". We are having about 270 people attend the wedding.

I know that, depending on where the wedding is held (where I grew up/where we both live now), and who is paying for it (my parents) the guest list can sometimes get lopsided, but lately I'm feeling like my FI is disappointed. I know this is because some of his friends that he hoped would be able to come up for the wedding (about 8 hours drive away) are not going to be able to make it.

A lot of women view this as "their special day" but I truly want it to be "our special day" and I want my FI to feel as loved as I know that I will on our wedding day. Does anyone have any suggestions about how I can boost his morale leading up to our wedding in 11 days?

Re: How to make my FI feel special...(advice pls!)

  • Maybe this sounds silly to everyone, but I am worried about making sure my FI feels special on our wedding day. I say this because less than 15% of our total attendees will be from "his side". We are having about 270 people attend the wedding.

    I know that, depending on where the wedding is held (where I grew up/where we both live now), and who is paying for it (my parents) the guest list can sometimes get lopsided, but lately I'm feeling like my FI is disappointed. I know this is because some of his friends that he hoped would be able to come up for the wedding (about 8 hours drive away) are not going to be able to make it.

    A lot of women view this as "their special day" but I truly want it to be "our special day" and I want my FI to feel as loved as I know that I will on our wedding day. Does anyone have any suggestions about how I can boost his morale leading up to our wedding in 11 days?

    My now DH and I made a "pact" that we would spend our entire reception together.

    Short of going to the bathroom and a few side conversations that resulted from trips to/from the bathroom, we were by each other's side. It was actually quite fun. We knew we got to talk to/meet all of the same people.

    Maybe this would work for you? He wouldn't feel like you're being "Miss Popular" running around and chatting with your 85% while leaving him in the dust.

  • You could write him a letter about why you chose to marry him and how happy you are to have him in your life and as part of your family. Give it to him to read before the wedding. Perhaps it will remind him that these people (even though from "your" side) are there to see BOTH of you. And he will be part of your family, so all those people are there to welcome him in. 

    I'd make sure to spend time with his family at the reception (obviously you'll have to see everyone), but make sure you're not rushing him through visiting with his family when you go around to everyone.
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  • Try to make as many decisions as possible together so that the day also looks like he had some input during planning.
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  • make a toast at the rehearsal dinner thanking everyone for coming and adding at the end a special thank you to him for being your best friend, love of your life, making you the happiest bride you could ever hope to be, etc.

    have a grooms cake? im not doing this but I know a lot of guys like it

    definitely greet all of your guests together

    exchange love letters pre-ceremony

    ask him what is important to him to incorporate into your wedding day (any special traditions, foods, songs?) and take his ideas seriously when making decisions...let him know his opinions matter to you

    also, I wanted to make FI feel special when it came to our wedding too and stuff like color palettes & flowers he couldn't care less about so I let him pick the DJ fully on his own! yikesss lol I had a hard time letting go of control on that one but I trust his judgment and it made him feel like he had a really important role in the planning process!

    hope any of this helped.. good luck & happy planning!

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