Dear Prudence,
For several years I had a debilitating illness that nearly
killed me and clouded my thinking. I was in the hospital for months on
end. Throughout all of it, there was a wonderful man, K, by my side who
did everything to be there for me. We used to be friends but ended up as
a couple during my illness, despite the fact that I was too weak for
anything remotely sexual. This could have ended as a tragically doomed
terminal-illness romance. But it didn’t. Despite the doctors'
expectations, I recovered. I'm healthy and I can live my life to the
fullest. I'm back in school and things are going great. With the
exception of K. I broke things off with him not too long after I
recovered. I felt awful about it. He'd spent so much time and energy on
me that I felt as if I had taken advantage of him. But we just weren't
compatible; the illness was what held us together. It was like waking up
with someone after you've been really, really drunk. I tried to be
gentle, but since I broke it off he has left hundreds of messages on my
phone. He has accused me of emotional abuse and claimed that I'm the
reason he has suicidal thoughts. I don't want to speak to him, but what
am I supposed to tell a guy who sends me an email saying that it's his
birthday and he's alone and asking me to just talk for five minutes?
When I’ve done this it ends up with him confessing his love! I should be
grateful to him, but I just can't stand him. Please help.