Dear Prudence,
I have a mistress. I have been married 15 years and have two beautiful
children. I love my wife and the life we have built together. But our
relationship is volatile and my wife and I sought couples therapy for
the tension and arguing. We also felt our emotional intimacy and sex
life have suffered. A little more than a year ago I met a woman I really
clicked with. She is also a married professional with young children.
We meet at a hotel every couple of months and have mind-blowing (safe)
sex, the kind that would appall my sexually conservative wife. Those few
hours together recharge me like nothing I have ever experienced. We
meet during the day, I don’t buy my mistress gifts, and I do not text or
call her. I like and trust her, find her attractive, but I am not in
love with her. She is well-grounded and has no intention of leaving her
own marriage. Because of these encounters I feel so much better about my
life and even my marriage! My wife has commented that I seem happier
and more attentive to her. Our therapist has noted that our
communication has improved exponentially. At first I was guilty, but I
no longer am. I wonder if I’m a bad person, but that’s not how I feel.
Your thoughts?