Throwing your own engagement party, okay or not?

futurebrugger22 · October 2013

You're funny, Maggie0829, relax! This is suppose to be a friendly forum. Maybe you should work on your delivery and attitude. There's nothing offensive about a party thrown with no gifts involved. Your silly assumptions are what lead you to get so angry. Have a nice day.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

You're funny, Maggie0829, relax! This is suppose to be a friendly forum. Maybe you should work on your delivery and attitude. There's nothing offensive about a party thrown with no gifts involved. Your silly assumptions are what lead you to get so angry. Have a nice day.

Throwing yourself a party in your own honor, presents or not, is rude. Also, stating that no presents are required is rude because you are assuming that people will be getting you presents. Also, typically engagement parties are known to be non-gift giving events (maybe a bottle of wine or booze) but you telling people that you don't want gifts makes you look like you are doing your guests a favor which can come off quite condescending. I don't care that you have a get together with your wedding party. But when you name it an engagement party you are then throwing a party in your honor which is not right. If others would like to throw you an engagement party they can and it is then considered a gift to the couple. But if people do not volunteer then you just don't get one. Same goes for bridal showers and bach parties. I also get a bit upset because very recently TK has had an influx of selfish, self-centered, entitled brides who think that they can do whatever the hell they want because it is their special day. Well as soon as you start involving others into your plans it stops being just about you and it starts being about everyone involved. And just because they are your friends and family in no way gives you the right to be rude to them. They will take offense to what you have planned but they won't be as rude as you and will keep their unhappy opinions to themselves.

futurebrugger22 · October 2013

Once again, your assumptions get the best of you. My original post wasn't written to cause controversy, it was written to offer support to the question asked. I, personally, believe its fine to throw your own party even after all of your input about it being rude. Sure, tell us your opinion, or what you, yourself did for you own wedding, but don't force your beliefs and try to make other people feel like shit because you're not in agreement with what they do. Guess what, you're not a guest at their parties or weddings, so lucky you won't be offended, but you don't know what offends everyone. I happen to know that gifts are not a necessity at an engagement party, that's what I was implying about a party with no gifts. We also are not the only ones throwing the party. We are paying for it and my MOH is planning it and making invitations, we're just still a part of the planning since we have specific things we would like, such as the choice of wine offered. A wedding is also the joining of two families so in a sense it is about other people as well. We'd rather have our "meet and greet" and engagement party all at once. We're not asking guests to bring anything, just meet us out for a wine and cheese tasting. Like I said, this site is to offer support, which is what I was doing in my original post. I don't know what I did to warrant your "attack" on my choices, but my party still seems to be under your regulations of right and wrong.I didn't even tell all the details of my party because it wasn't important, I was simply giving another opinion on the topic. Times are changing and brides will change with them. It's great that you love and honor tradition, but lets face it, hardly anything is traditional anymore.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

@futurebrugger22 - just like I don't know what offends everyone neither do you. Which is why it is always best to follow etiquette so that in the end you know that you are treating your guests appropriately and are not offending anyone. And I don't agree with your posts and am allowed to say so.

I am not attacking you I am simply saying that what you are doing is rude and against etiquette. I don't care who else hosts your party with you but you are still hosting a party in your honor and that is against etiquette. I don't care how many details you give because it is not going to change my opinion.

Tradition =/= etiquette.

Finally this site may offer support but we are also not going to blow rainbows, sugar and puppies up your ass and tell you that everything you are doing is perfect. Sorry, we don't validate crappy ideas.

futurebrugger22 · October 2013

Nothing about what I'm doing is rude or going against any etiquette. Maybe I have people in my life that want to throw a party for us but cannot afford it. Yeah, yeah, you don't agree with what I'm saying so your allowed to say it, I get that, but EVERYONE is entitled to their own opinion, not just you. I honestly do not care what your opinion is and definitely don't want to change it! You getting all crazy about stupid shit is actually pretty humorous to me. You start fights all over this website for NO REASON but to feel smarter/better about yourself. Didn't anyone ever tell you that no idea is crappy. Your wedding is done and over with, is it not? Why are you on here to harass other brides, get on with your life.

Closed minds should come with closed mouths.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

futurebrugger22 said:

Nothing about what I'm doing is rude or going against any etiquette. Maybe I have people in my life that want to throw a party for us but cannot afford it. Yeah, yeah, you don't agree with what I'm saying so your allowed to say it, I get that, but EVERYONE is entitled to their own opinion, not just you. I honestly do not care what your opinion is and definitely don't want to change it! You getting all crazy about stupid shit is actually pretty humorous to me. You start fights all over this website for NO REASON but to feel smarter/better about yourself. Didn't anyone ever tell you that no idea is crappy. Your wedding is done and over with, is it not? Why are you on here to harass other brides, get on with your life.

Closed minds should come with closed mouths.

You know what they say about assumptions.

So you would rather get wedding advice from people who have never planned a wedding before? That would be like going to school to become a surgeon to only be taught brain surgery by someone who has never performed it before. It never ends well, especially for your patients (ie guests).

So go ahead, plan your special wedding. Like I said, I really don't care what you end up doing but I will continue to tell you that your ideas are rude because they are. Sorry.

futurebrugger22 · October 2013

Seems like the only entitled person on here, is you. Everyone should do everything for you, everything you do is right and if people don't take your advice they're wrong. I will plan my very special wedding, with nothing you say affecting it. You just want to hear people say that you're right and if you read something you don't agree with or don't get people to agree with you, you go on a rampage. At least my ideas come off as rude instead of me coming on here to be undeservingly rude to others.

KeptInStitches · October 2013

Parts of your posts have been pretty darn rude. "Wedding Police"? Referring to everything being based on religious beliefs? (Sorry, a lot of traditions are based on culture.) Calling us rude for standing up for etiquette? Perhaps you need to examine your delivery as well because you're coming off as undeservingly rude to others. We can't control whether you're going to throw your own engagement party, but we can tell you that it is bad form to throw a party in your honor. If you want to get together with your bridal party, friends, family, etc. that's just fine, but you shouldn't call it an engagement party.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

futurebrugger22 said:

Seems like the only entitled person on here, is you. Everyone should do everything for you, everything you do is right and if people don't take your advice they're wrong. I will plan my very special wedding, with nothing you say affecting it. You just want to hear people say that you're right and if you read something you don't agree with or don't get people to agree with you, you go on a rampage. At least my ideas come off as rude instead of me coming on here to be undeservingly rude to others.

Assumptions much? I don't expect or want anyone to do anything for me. I planned my entire wedding with just my H and my parents since they were contributing. I did not expect my wedding party to do anything for me. I was just happy that they said they were going to be in the wedding. Same goes for my everyday life. I do things myself because that is what adults do.

I also couldn't care less whether people say that I am right or wrong. I stand by my opinion whether you agree with it (or anyone else agrees with it) or not.

I really wouldn't consider me sticking to my guns about something a rampage. I don't agree with you. You know that but yet you continue to post with your passive aggressive, "I am the victim" tone.

And I really don't see how your ideas being rude is any better then you thinking that I am being unreasonably rude to others, which I haven't been, because disagreeing with you and saying that I think your ideas are in poor taste is not being rude. I mean if you do go ahead with your rude ideas you are then just being rude to your friends and family. It is such a terrible circle.

KatWAG · October 2013

futurebrugger22 said:

Nothing about what I'm doing is rude or going against any etiquette. Maybe I have people in my life that want to throw a party for us but cannot afford it. Yeah, yeah, you don't agree with what I'm saying so your allowed to say it, I get that, but EVERYONE is entitled to their own opinion, not just you. I honestly do not care what your opinion is and definitely don't want to change it! You getting all crazy about stupid shit is actually pretty humorous to me. You start fights all over this website for NO REASON but to feel smarter/better about yourself. Didn't anyone ever tell you that no idea is crappy. Your wedding is done and over with, is it not? Why are you on here to harass other brides, get on with your life.

Closed minds should come with closed mouths.

Oh, but it is. Throwing a party in your honor is attention whore-ish.

And FWIW, there are plenty of crappy ideas. Would you like some examples? Kicking puppies = crappy idea. Making guests pay for drinks = crappy idea. see- through spandex= crappy idea. Honeymoon fund = crappy idea.

NYCBruin · October 2013

Can someone at TK make me a "Wedding Police" badge? I really want one.

And @Maggie0829 can you put a machete picture or something in your siggy. It would make all of these accusations of you "attacking" people so much more amusing.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

@NYCBruin - I will have to see what kind of fun picture I can find

NYCMercedes · October 2013

Here ya' go, Maggie.

NYCMercedes · October 2013

Found one for us, NYCbruin.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

NYCMercedes said:

Here ya' go, Maggie.

Damn, I wish I looked like that in real life LOL!

NYCBruin · October 2013

NYCMercedes said:

Found one for us, NYCbruin.

Love it!

futurebrugger22 · October 2013

Get well Ladies! I no longer have words for your incompetence.

NYCBruin · October 2013

futurebrugger22 said:
Get well Ladies! I no longer have words for your incompetence.

This makes no sense. What are you trying to say?

Throwing your own engagement party, okay or not?

Re: Throwing your own engagement party, okay or not?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards