Already have most of what we need...

Majelin86 · September 2013

My fiancé and I have been together for 6 & 1/2 yrs and have lived together for 3, so we already have most of the house stuff we need. We registered at Sears for a few things (some of which we received at my bridal shower) and don't have much more on the registry. Should we try and add more to it, or just see leave it the way it is? Most of our registry is just upgrades to the stuff we already have.

Simply Fated · September 2013

Majelin86 said:

My fiancé and I have been together for 6 & 1/2 yrs and have lived together for 3, so we already have most of the house stuff we need. We registered at Sears for a few things (some of which we received at my bridal shower) and don't have much more on the registry. Should we try and add more to it, or just see leave it the way it is? Most of our registry is just upgrades to the stuff we already have.

Don't add things you don't need or wouldn't use.

I don't know how things are in your circle, do people usually give boxed gifts at weddings? If so, then you might want to check again to see if there is anything you want to add to it. Otherwise, you could end up with 20 ceramic roosters.

Majelin86 · September 2013

Well there are a lot of older aunts & uncles on my fiancé's side who would prefer to give an actual give whereas my family and our friends would rather give money.

doeydo · September 2013

My FI and I live together as well so I'm with you on the upgrades. We have a Bissel vacuum which is ok but it would be awesome if we got a Dyson Pet. Just register for what you would like and use and even if it's a relatively small registry, it's better than registering for and getting a bunch of stuff you don't know what to do with.

delujm0 · September 2013

if you have already had your bridal shower, there's no need to register for more. You aren't supposed to expect gifts at your reception: the guest's attendance is supposed to be your gift. Showers exist for the purpose of people giving you physical gifts. If your shower has already happened, there is no reason to add items you don't want or need to your registry. If people want to write you a check, they can do so.

If you're afraid you may get random physical gifts that you don't want or need at your wedding, go ahead and register for a few things just to be safe.

JoanE2012 · September 2013

delujm0 said:

if you have already had your bridal shower, there's no need to register for more. You aren't supposed to expect gifts at your reception: the guest's attendance is supposed to be your gift. Showers exist for the purpose of people giving you physical gifts. If your shower has already happened, there is no reason to add items you don't want or need to your registry. If people want to write you a check, they can do so.

If you're afraid you may get random physical gifts that you don't want or need at your wedding, go ahead and register for a few things just to be safe.

But most people will bring a gift. Whether it's boxed or money usually depends on the area. In the NJ area, it's usually money. In other parts of the country, boxed gifts are usually brought to weddings.

mariathomaswedding · September 2013

I was in a similar situation and did not need a lot of things... I did some research and found MyRegistry.com where you can register any item you can think of. FH and I got into it because we wanted to upgrade some stuff, but then wanted a few other things that you couldn’t get in a regular department store.. Later we found out it has cash gift funds! So our guests can add money to whatever fund we created as a registry item! You should check it out!

LondonLisa · September 2013

mariathomaswedding said:

I was in a similar situation and did not need a lot of things... I did some research and found MyRegistry.com where you can register any item you can think of. FH and I got into it because we wanted to upgrade some stuff, but then wanted a few other things that you couldn’t get in a regular department store.. Later we found out it has cash gift funds! So our guests can add money to whatever fund we created as a registry item! You should check it out!

Please do not do this- registering for money is rude, tacky and crass. You should not register for cash in any form, including honeymoon/ gift cards/ house down payments. Everyone knows money is a good wedding gift. You are not a charity so please do not beg for donations.

OP- Maybe add a few more upgrade items but with a small registry you will most likely get cheques anyway.

daniroth · September 2013

LondonLisa said:

mariathomaswedding said:

I was in a similar situation and did not need a lot of things... I did some research and found MyRegistry.com where you can register any item you can think of. FH and I got into it because we wanted to upgrade some stuff, but then wanted a few other things that you couldn’t get in a regular department store.. Later we found out it has cash gift funds! So our guests can add money to whatever fund we created as a registry item! You should check it out!

Please do not do this- registering for money is rude, tacky and crass. You should not register for cash in any form, including honeymoon/ gift cards/ house down payments. Everyone knows money is a good wedding gift. You are not a charity so please do not beg for donations.

OP- Maybe add a few more upgrade items but with a small registry you will most likely get cheques anyway.

Not true at all. I am using myregistry.com also and all my guests love the idea of a cash gift fund. Most of them shop online anyways, so this is super easy.

hoffse · September 2013

daniroth said:

LondonLisa said:

mariathomaswedding said:

I was in a similar situation and did not need a lot of things... I did some research and found MyRegistry.com where you can register any item you can think of. FH and I got into it because we wanted to upgrade some stuff, but then wanted a few other things that you couldn’t get in a regular department store.. Later we found out it has cash gift funds! So our guests can add money to whatever fund we created as a registry item! You should check it out!

Please do not do this- registering for money is rude, tacky and crass. You should not register for cash in any form, including honeymoon/ gift cards/ house down payments. Everyone knows money is a good wedding gift. You are not a charity so please do not beg for donations.

OP- Maybe add a few more upgrade items but with a small registry you will most likely get cheques anyway.

Not true at all. I am using myregistry.com also and all my guests love the idea of a cash gift fund. Most of them shop online anyways, so this is super easy.

A few points:

1) Yes it is rude - when has it ever been ok to ask for money? Traditional registries fly under the radar because people know couples need things to set up a home, and registries give guests hints about the color of your bedroom or your china pattern. It would make no sense to receive 14 different place settings of china, all in different patterns. As a guest, I'm not obligated to follow your registry if I don't want. Additionally, I can use a coupon, a gift card, buy from a cheaper store, or even re-gift if I'm trying to be budget-conscious. There is no way to get a deal or discount on cash. Nor is there a substitute - what am I supposed to give you if I don't want to give you dollars... euros? Please.

2) If your friends have told you it's ok that's because they are trying to be nice to you. I can promise you that at least half are talking about you behind your back. I don't care how perfect your friendship is with them - most generally polite people aren't going to tell a bride to her face that her idea is terrible, but even good friends gossip.

3) I can't believe you even had this conversation with your guests to know what their opinions supposedly are...

4) Most cash registries take a cut. So not only is it rude to register for cash, it's dumb. Why are you giving up that chunk of your gift in service fees? The cash registries that don't take a cut just direct guests to write a check... which is what they would have done anyway. So at best it's redundant.

OP, please don't register for cash. If people feel moved to give you cash they will stick a check in an envelope and call it a day.... just like they've been doing for decades. Folks are smart like that.

If you have guests who are boxed-gift people, I would make sure there is enough. PP is right: if there isn't enough, you might get a rooster or two. Or, like me, you could get an egg platter decorated with technicolor fish (a tiny part of me sort of likes it - shhh, don't tell H because he will think I'm crazy). Anyway, it's better to get these upgrades than get something you can't use at all. Even massive registries don't deter some folks from giving you the rooster, but at least you minimize your chances. I personally don't give cash, so if your registry was depleted I would give you a crystal vase or platter.

FWIW my guestlist was mostly boxed gifts - we got almost no cash. We had guests from all over the country, too, so it wasn't just a regional thing. I would watch it and start adding upgrades and "wish" items to your registry as your lists empty.

MyNameIsNot · September 2013

daniroth said:

LondonLisa said:

mariathomaswedding said:

I was in a similar situation and did not need a lot of things... I did some research and found MyRegistry.com where you can register any item you can think of. FH and I got into it because we wanted to upgrade some stuff, but then wanted a few other things that you couldn’t get in a regular department store.. Later we found out it has cash gift funds! So our guests can add money to whatever fund we created as a registry item! You should check it out!

Please do not do this- registering for money is rude, tacky and crass. You should not register for cash in any form, including honeymoon/ gift cards/ house down payments. Everyone knows money is a good wedding gift. You are not a charity so please do not beg for donations.

OP- Maybe add a few more upgrade items but with a small registry you will most likely get cheques anyway.

Not true at all. I am using myregistry.com also and all my guests love the idea of a cash gift fund. Most of them shop online anyways, so this is super easy.

Sorry, but it is incredibly rude.

You can do it if you want, but encouraging other people to embarrass themselves doing something like this is horrible.

chelcee22 · October 2013

What about a honeymoon registry? My FI and I are in the same boat, so we created a registry with Traveler's Joy. Everyone who knows us loves the idea because they don't want to give us a bunch of stuff we already have, and they know we already own a home together.

blueobsidian · October 2013

chelcee22 said:

What about a honeymoon registry? My FI and I are in the same boat, so we created a registry with Traveler's Joy. Everyone who knows us loves the idea because they don't want to give us a bunch of stuff we already have, and they know we already own a home together.

You might want to read the thread on honeymoon registries. They are incredibly rude and deceptive. It's never OK to ask people for cash. Plus, since you don't get the experiences you register for, you get a check, you are not being honest with your family. So why lie to your guests about what they are getting you? The people who want to give you cash will give you cash, without losing out on the service fee that honeymoon registries charge.

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