Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bar at the Rehearsal Dinner

All,

We are having a destination-type wedding of about 75 guests.  I say "destination type" because it's in the FL Keys, and only a 2-3 hours' drive for most of my FI's family and friends (a plane ride for mine).  We are of course having an open bar at the wedding, but I'm wondering what the etiquette is at the rehearsal dinner regarding cash/open bar.  I think drink tickets are tacky, so don't want to go that route.  Thoughts anyone?  Thanks!

Re: Bar at the Rehearsal Dinner

  • We had our RD at a restaurant that allowed us to bring our own alcohol, so we brought a few cases of wine and beer. Not sure if that is an option for you, but it saved us a lot of money.
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  • Cash bars are tacky anytime you are hosting an event. A rehearsal dinner is an event. You must properly host your guests. 

    Have either an open bar, limited bar, or dry RD. Cash bar isn't an option. 
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  • You should host those at the RD the same as you do at the wedding. The RD can be as simple as pizza and beer/soda at your house.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • Host what you can afford (dry, limited, fully open).  No cash bars...they are just as tacky as drink tickets.

  • Either offer an open/limited bar or offer just soft drinks.
  • All,

    We are having a destination-type wedding of about 75 guests.  I say "destination type" because it's in the FL Keys, and only a 2-3 hours' drive for most of my FI's family and friends (a plane ride for mine).  We are of course having an open bar at the wedding, but I'm wondering what the etiquette is at the rehearsal dinner regarding cash/open bar.  I think drink tickets are tacky, so don't want to go that route.  Thoughts anyone?  Thanks!

    Good for you.  But what type wedding isn't relevant: Guests should never be expected to pay for their provisions; nor should the provisions be limited as to when they are served.  So: no cash bars or drink tickets, and if you serve alcohol at all, it has to be served throughout the dinner.  No cutting it off part way through.
  • PDKH said:
    Cash bars are tacky anytime you are hosting an event. A rehearsal dinner is an event. You must properly host your guests. 

    Have either an open bar, limited bar, or dry RD. Cash bar isn't an option. 
    This.  Same rules apply.

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  • PnkBridePnkBride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited October 2013

    My husband and I hosted the rehearsal dinner for our son and dil. We had an open bar.  We were charged for consumption (meaning only for what was actually ordered by the guests).

  • Our RD had hosted soft drinks and a specialty alcoholic punch the restaurant makes.

     

  • We are hosting non-alcoholic beverages and beer and wine for our RD. Cocktails are $15+ at the place and we didn't want to have dry, so limited seemed like a good option. You could always opt to not host any alcohol, no problem with that. 
  • Do you need to invite all OOT guests? You can still have the RD be WP, immediate family and their SOs only and then put the word out that you will be at a local bar getting your drink on at X time and people can show up if they'd like.
  • Thanks for all your replies.  Maybe we'll host non-alcoholic beverages and beer/wine.  Depending on how many guests we have, we may have to rent the whole place out and have it closed to the public.  We're still debating if we're going to invite everyone or bridal party + immediate family.  I like the idea of saying we'll be at X bar following the rehearsal if you want to come mingle with us. The place has a full bar so if we offer beer and wine and guests choose to hit the hard stuff, they should be on their own, right?

  • Thanks for all your replies.  Maybe we'll host non-alcoholic beverages and beer/wine.  Depending on how many guests we have, we may have to rent the whole place out and have it closed to the public.  We're still debating if we're going to invite everyone or bridal party + immediate family.  I like the idea of saying we'll be at X bar following the rehearsal if you want to come mingle with us. The place has a full bar so if we offer beer and wine and guests choose to hit the hard stuff, they should be on their own, right?

    This kind of depends upon the layout in my opinion. Are you at a restaurant? 

    If a guest wanders out of a private dinning room you're using into the main bar area to pursue their own drink, not much you can do. But if you're in the area with the main bar, I'd look into doing a consumption bar. 
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  • It's a small bar/restaurant.  It's kind of a dive, but a lot of fun and some of the best food in the Marathon chain of islands, plus a real "old Keys" experience (we're doing a very nice plated dinner for the wedding at a 4 star resort for the wedding, so wanted something fun and different).  Setup depends on how many people we have - if we rent it out, we'll have the run of the place. It's a big open-air bar/restaurant with a big square 4-sided bar in the middle and a few tables, and then that opens to more seating in an area that's right on the water.  If we do a small thing, we could just use a private room at the front (not renting it out) and then after the RD is "officially" over, let everyone loose in the main part.  Which we do will depend on budget and how many RSVP's we get, neither of which we've hashed out yet.  So many details still on the table, and we're a little more than 3 months out (what I get for leaving this part of the planning to my FI's devices). ;)
  • You could have the waiters/waitresses say "The bride and groom are offering/hosting ______" and if they really want something else then they can ask and pay for it.
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  • It's a small bar/restaurant.  It's kind of a dive, but a lot of fun and some of the best food in the Marathon chain of islands, plus a real "old Keys" experience (we're doing a very nice plated dinner for the wedding at a 4 star resort for the wedding, so wanted something fun and different).  Setup depends on how many people we have - if we rent it out, we'll have the run of the place. It's a big open-air bar/restaurant with a big square 4-sided bar in the middle and a few tables, and then that opens to more seating in an area that's right on the water.  If we do a small thing, we could just use a private room at the front (not renting it out) and then after the RD is "officially" over, let everyone loose in the main part.  Which we do will depend on budget and how many RSVP's we get, neither of which we've hashed out yet.  So many details still on the table, and we're a little more than 3 months out (what I get for leaving this part of the planning to my FI's devices). ;)
    @ajordan627 - could you PM me the name of the restaurant? FI and I are headed to the Keys in a few weeks!
  • Sure thing! You MUST go and have the conch fritters and fish tacos.  You will not regret either!!! :)
  • We had our RD at our favorite restaurant. The place has 60+ beers on tap, an extensive wine list, and tons of liquor options. We hosted 10 beers, two wines, and soft drinks. We didn't want it to be a full open bar, since some of the beers run at $25 for a 10 oz, and we didn't want DH's grandmother (who hosted the RD as her gift to us) to have to pay for those. Basically, everyone ordered off of the reduced list (as far as I know).

    We had also told our guests (both in and OOT ones) that we would be at the main bar starting at a certain time. Several of our OOT guests came to hang out with us afterwards. It was lots of fun!
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  • Dumb question @allispain but I'm not on here much.... What is OOT?
  • @ajordan627 No such thing as a dumb question! :-) OOT is shorthand for "out of town" guests.
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  • Ah ok! Thanks! Sounds like your rehearsal dinner was a blast! :)
  • @jordan627 can you also PM me the name of the place. I am probably having a keys wedding and was also looking for the dive bar RD experience! 
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