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Parents helping pay trying to make it as even as possible

mimiwilson1988mimiwilson1988 member
First Comment
in Snarky Brides
Ok so idk how to make it even for all the parents involved in helping us pay for our wedding...and I dont want to be rude because all 4 parents are very dear to me. The situation is my mom agreed to pay for the cake, well first of all we were going to do a dessert bar we were quoted 300$ for 6-8 different desserts but we then decided we would do just cake which is going to save about 200$ less then the dessert bar so just over 100$ for 3 cakes that will feed all of guest. My dad is going to pay for the dj which is going to be between 200-300$..and then the food which my FH mom and dad have decided to pay for which is not going to be a lot because its going to be a very simple dinner of sandwiches and salads which grandmothers on FH sides are planning to make. So in the end my dad is paying for 100-200$ more then anybody and I feel this is not very fair for him How do I approach this situation without seeming rude? I love all of them so much and greatly appreciate all of there help and dont want to hurt anyones feelings. Hope I explained this ok. :) 
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Re: Parents helping pay trying to make it as even as possible

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You don't!  I'm a 4 time MOB and I don't understand where you got this idea that everyone has to pitch in the same amount.  Anyone who offers money decides on how much they want to offer  you.  It has nothing at all to do with anyone else's contribution.  Your dad will pay 100-200 dollars more than everyone else.  That is because he offered more money.  You say nothing, except thank you, to everyone involved and move on.

    This is not at all unfair to your dad.  He offered  this money.
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  • Sembree1Sembree1 member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    If you are that worried about your dad paying more, you can always offer to pay him the difference. But if he offered to pay for the DJ he must have known an idea of how how much it would cost and been ok with it or he wouldn't have offered. Nothing says that have  to pay the same amount
    [url=http://www.theknot.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.theknot.com/tickers/tt18222b.aspx[/img][/url]
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    missax said:
    No one but you and your FI should even know how much each of them are contributing so what does it matter if ones give more than the other? As long as they are offering you just accept it (or decline) and say thank you.

    This.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • JMalettasJMalettas member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    missax said:
    No one but you and your FI should even know how much each of them are contributing so what does it matter if ones give more than the other? As long as they are offering you just accept it (or decline) and say thank you.
     Yes, this! 
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    mimiwilson1988 said:
    Ok so idk how to make it even for all the parents involved in helping us pay for our wedding...and I dont want to be rude because all 4 parents are very dear to me. The situation is my mom agreed to pay for the cake, well first of all we were going to do a dessert bar we were quoted 300$ for 6-8 different desserts but we then decided we would do just cake which is going to save about 200$ less then the dessert bar so just over 100$ for 3 cakes that will feed all of guest. My dad is going to pay for the dj which is going to be between 200-300$..and then the food which my FH mom and dad have decided to pay for which is not going to be a lot because its going to be a very simple dinner of sandwiches and salads which grandmothers on FH sides are planning to make. So in the end my dad is paying for 100-200$ more then anybody and I feel this is not very fair for him How do I approach this situation without seeming rude? I love all of them so much and greatly appreciate all of there help and dont want to hurt anyones feelings. Hope I explained this ok. :) 

    When you accept gifts at other times, such as birthdays or holidays, do you assess the value and report back to all the gift givers?  Of course not.  There is no difference in this situation.  You have family gifting components of your wedding.  As other posters have said, what you receive, and the value of it, is of no concern or business to anyone but you and your FI.  
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  • mimiwilson1988mimiwilson1988 member
    First Comment
    Ok thank you well I wont worry about it then. 
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