Foreign traditions

dtew1050 · October 2013

Since before I was engaged, I've wanted to incorporate various German traditions into my wedding in some way. My heritage is a huge part of my life and I think it would add some fun flavor.

I'm not totally sure how feasible it is...especially because I don't want to get in trouble for noise or anything! One tradition involves guests at a per-wedding party smashing porcelain outside where the party is and the bride and groom later cleaning it together. Another, is for the bachelorette party. The girls dress up (sometimes in costume) and go around selling silly things to raise money for their festivities that night.

There are other things, but those seem most risky and out of place from American custom.

Has anyone else incorporated foreign customs into weddings? Were they wild or tame? Well received?

I'd also love to just hear about some of the customs from around the world!

artbyallie · October 2013

I feel like any traditions that are incorporated should actually have a basis and meaning for someone involved. If your ancestors were German, but no one in the family has lived/been there in generations and you've never actually seen any of these activities at any family weddings, it will not mean anything to anyone there. They'll be just as confused as everyone else and that, IMO, makes it kind of pointless.

It's different from, say, having a tea ceremony because your grandparents were born in Japan. Or doing a handfasting because your groom is from a Gypsy culture. Customs are supposed to be just that, customary to the culture. Doing them just because they strike you as cool can be offensive.

Teddy917 · October 2013

I don't think she's doing it just because it's cool. She said her heritage is a big part of her life. IMO even if nobody's done any German traditions in her family doesn't mean that it doesn't have meaning to HER. My family doesn't do any traditions from our heritage but that doesn't mean that my heritage means nothing to me.
OP I wouldn't do the fundraising one (unless you want to switch it up and do it for a charity instead); for the breaking stuff one, since the symbolism is you and FI working together, maybe you could just have a party and just tell the guest they can feel free to make a mess? Then clean it up together.

LondonLisa · October 2013

artbyallie said:

I feel like any traditions that are incorporated should actually have a basis and meaning for someone involved. If your ancestors were German, but no one in the family has lived/been there in generations and you've never actually seen any of these activities at any family weddings, it will not mean anything to anyone there. They'll be just as confused as everyone else and that, IMO, makes it kind of pointless.

It's different from, say, having a tea ceremony because your grandparents were born in Japan. Or doing a handfasting because your groom is from a Gypsy culture. Customs are supposed to be just that, customary to the culture. Doing them just because they strike you as cool can be offensive.

Ditto this. I feel that if you have to ask for someone to explain the meaning behind a ritual you want to perform at your wedding, it obviously cannot have too much meaning for you personally. If you want to celebrate your heritage, I think it works better through food (maybe have currywurst as the midnight snack or German ginger cookies as the favour), a traditional German band playing during the cocktail hour, German beer flights during the reception, etc

KatWAG · October 2013

dtew1050 said:

Since before I was engaged, I've wanted to incorporate various German traditions into my wedding in some way. My heritage is a huge part of my life and I think it would add some fun flavor. I'm not totally sure how feasible it is...especially because I don't want to get in trouble for noise or anything! One tradition involves guests at a per-wedding party smashing porcelain outside where the party is and the bride and groom later cleaning it together. Another, is for the bachelorette party. The girls dress up (sometimes in costume) and go around selling silly things to raise money for their festivities that night. There are other things, but those seem most risky and out of place from American custom. Has anyone else incorporated foreign customs into weddings? Were they wild or tame? Well received? I'd also love to just hear about some of the customs from around the world!

Please dont use your bach party as a fundraiser.

[Deleted User] · October 2013

Another German tradition besides the plates if for the bridal party to hide things a big thing of sand (like a play box) and the bride and groom have to dig for them to find them. I've also seen it where the bride & groom had to saw through a log the old fashion way (my parents are from Germany & all my relatives still live there). The big thing is that a challenge is put forth to the bride & groom that they have to work through together to show that they can work together through challenging things which means that they can work together through the hard times.

We had a dual language ceremony because my family & some guests were from Germany and it helped them understand the cermony. The guests who didn't speak German thought it was cool that we incorporated my heritage & honored my family like that.

We didn't do the plate breaking because it was dark after rehersal (November wedding dark by 6:00 PM) so it would have made it hard to make sure we got all the glass cleaned up in the dark and I would hate to have left glass there where kids, animals, or car tires may have gone over it.

Jen4948 · October 2013

I don't know of many German traditions, but should you do any, I'd

1) pick some that have contemporary meaning for you (that is, in the here and now)
2) not pick any that are likely to offend a mainstream American guest or have legal issues
3) pick traditions that are as self-explanatory as possible
4) pick traditions that aren't likely to make anyone feel excluded
5) not pick any that are exceptionally labor-intensive, expensive, or otherwise inconvenient for anyone

pbi9994 · October 2013

dtew1050 said:

Since before I was engaged, I've wanted to incorporate various German traditions into my wedding in some way. My heritage is a huge part of my life and I think it would add some fun flavor. I'm not totally sure how feasible it is...especially because I don't want to get in trouble for noise or anything! One tradition involves guests at a per-wedding party smashing porcelain outside where the party is and the bride and groom later cleaning it together. Another, is for the bachelorette party. The girls dress up (sometimes in costume) and go around selling silly things to raise money for their festivities that night. There are other things, but those seem most risky and out of place from American custom. Has anyone else incorporated foreign customs into weddings? Were they wild or tame? Well received? I'd also love to just hear about some of the customs from around the world!

You could pick a short poem or reading in German, and have two people come up to read it at the ceremony, split it line by line for one to read the german text, and the other to translate. The key is to make sure it's a very short poem, because the time it takes to read will obviously double. Also, don't do this to a friend or relative who doesn't speak any German, and make sure whoever you give it to is down for it and has a lot of time to prepare.

Foreign traditions

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