Hello everyone,
I am in desperate need of some advice. I was asked to be a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. Recently she asked me to be her MOH. I am very honored and couldn't be more excited for her. We were recently talking about what she would like to do for her bachelorette party and she has decided on a spa weekend to the beach. I was very excited and got to planning and looking at hotels and spa packages. I spoke to the bride about how many people she thought would be attending the party. (There are 4 bridesmaids, including myself. I have asked for phone numbers numerous times but have yet to get any of the other girl's numbers, so I am having to work through the bride, which has made any planning.. well, tough. I wanted to include that before continuing.) I found out that only one of the other girls will be able to attend due to the fact that the other two are coming in from out of town for the wedding and cannot take off more time to also attend the bachelorette party. All of this has been ok'd by the bride and she insists this is what she wants to do. Here is my dilemma. The bridesmaid, who is also the bride's sister, attending the party will not be able to contribute monetarily. The bride's mother will be joining us as well. It looks to be a weekend of four with only two paying. I understand as the MOH, that this is usually paid for by the MOH and other BM. The bride's mother said she would help bit, but in all honesty, I cannot afford a spa weekend away for four if I am the only one (pretty much only one) paying. I have offered other ideas, such as perhaps having a spa day here in town or having the bachelorette party well before the wedding so more girls can attend. I have been turned down on everything. I want to give my friend a lovely bachelorette party but I feel, she is expecting too much. I cannot do this on my own. On top of an expensive BM dress, trips out of town to look at wedding accessories, wedding gift, and shower, I cannot back a weekend away for four. I know when I accepted her request to be MOH, it would involve a lot of time and, yes money. I have no problem with any of it except for the bachelorette party. I simply cannot do it, nor do I think its right for me to be expected to pay for almost everything for the entire weekend. I love the bride as a sister and want to make her happy but I do not know what to do. Some of the comments she has said have made me believe that if I can't come through, I shouldn't be in the wedding party. I don't how to proceed. I think if the bride wants an expensive weekend way she shouldn't expect one person to cover so much. I am trying to come up with other ideas that may be more suitable so any idea would be great. Should I offer to do a weekend, just the two of us? Any advice would be welcome.