Pre-wedding Parties

Shower invitation list

So, my mom ,godmother, and BP are planning a shower for and have asked me for a guest list to send out invitations. Who all is invited to an event? I've never hosted one or had one before, so I am clueless. Do you invite everyone you're inviting to the wedding? Is it rude to leave someone off the list? Help!

Re: Shower invitation list

  • Anyone who is invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding, but everyone invited to the wedding does not have to be invited to the shower.

    Showers are usually for the bride's closest friends and family.  You should invite your FMIL and the groom's sisters (if he has any). If your FMIL (or her friends) should throw you a shower, she should invite your mother and your sisters (if you have any).  Bridesmaids are usually invited but are not required to attend.

    Unless you are having a small wedding I would not invite EVERYONE to the shower, that tends to come across as being greedy and gift-grabby.
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  • Oh shoot... I forgot to add that this is a couples' shower, so my fiance's family and friends will be involved/invited too.
  • Ask how many people they can afford to host and how many people fit in whatever venue they've decided on and go from there. Anyone invited to pre-wedding parties must be invited to the wedding, so just make sure your guest list matches up.

    My shower was thrown by some good family friends - it was my mom and sister, DH's mom and sister, aunts, cousins, and a few friends. Initially we were going to do a couples shower, but it was at their house and they didn't have enough room. So we ended up doing just women.
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  • It will be at my aunt's house, and she has a large house and hosts a very large crawfish boil every Easter, so I don't think that's a concern. So I really want to be proper with who gets invited.
  • The only hard and fast rule with showers is that anyone you invite to the shower MUST be invited to the wedding. As long as the host(s) can afford it you can invite as many people as you want within that rule.

    With a couples shower you would need to invite both parts of the couple (unless they break up) to the wedding.  
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  • Couples showers are hard for me to say who to invite - most of my friends are guys (I know how you feel about this, but they are :-p) and they think couples showers are gift grabby bc they don't like to go and feel like they are only invited to get a gift out of them. Especially the guys that don't have SOs you are close to, bc they would not have been invited to a traditional shower. So I would say only invite those you are truly close to and not everyone bc people are more likely to feel like you are trying to gifts than they are to feel jilted that you didn't invite them.
    Just my two cents :-)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Couples showers are hard for me to say who to invite - most of my friends are guys (I know how you feel about this, but they are :-p) and they think couples showers are gift grabby bc they don't like to go and feel like they are only invited to get a gift out of them. Especially the guys that don't have SOs you are close to, bc they would not have been invited to a traditional shower. So I would say only invite those you are truly close to and not everyone bc people are more likely to feel like you are trying to gifts than they are to feel jilted that you didn't invite them.
    Just my two cents :-)
    And that's something I am aware of too. I don't want people to feel obligated to come or that they HAVE to get us a gift. I am basically just looking to get together and have a great time with our peeps, lol.
  • still ask your aunt if there is max guest count; as long as whoever is invited to the shower is on your guest list you are good to go.  and typically showers are for the people who live closer (not out of state/too far away).  You can of course still invite out of own guests but it can come across as gift grabby (unless its your mom,sisters, bridemaids, MIL, etc).  We still invited my husbands aunts/cousins and grandmother who lived 4 hours from the shower and 2 aunts, 2 cousins and grandma made the trip.  I was pleasantly surprised and happy they came.  You can invite everyone on your guest list if you like, but typically showers are more for your closest family/friends.  I had a smaller wedding so besides the cousins and aunts who lived on the east coast my shower list was the same as the wedding list (girls).
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    Anniversary
  • I was also wondering about this question as well. I know to invite my family and friends, though what about my FI side, I know to invite FMIL, FSIL and Grandma, do I also invite all of his Aunts, female cousins( who are invited to the wedding )? Two groomsmen have serious girlfriends who I'm also friends with so I know I will invite them a two other friends I'm friends with as well, though do I need to invite my FI female friends that I'm not friends with, even though I know them and we used to work together?
  • No.  You do not need to invite every single female invited to the wedding to a shower.  You do not even need to invite all of his side.  In fact, someone else should be hosting the shower for you, so you do not issue invitations-you let the hostess do it.
  • You certainly don't have to invite everyone invited to the wedding.  Be sure to include your bridal party and immediate families for both sides.  As your family is hosting, you could draw the line at your extended family/wedding guests.  We had a shower hosted by my aunts, and I invited my friends, BMs, extended family, and his immediate family but no one else from his side.  His family is throwing us a couple's shower and we invited our BP, immediate families, and his extended family and friends to that one, but no other guests from my side.  
  • great thank you. Trust me i'm not hosting my own shower, my MOH and my mom asked me for my guest list so I just wanted to make sure I didn't leave anyone out that was suppose to come.
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