Dear Prudence,
My husband is a man of excellent character. We don’t keep secrets from each other; we even share our passwords. We’ve been together four years and married for one. A month ago, my best friend, who is quite large-chested, stayed the night at our house. The three of us had quite a bit to drink. In the morning my husband sat me and my friend down and made a confession. He said he had put his phone in her bedroom hoping to make a video of her getting undressed, but he forgot to hit the record button. He said he was telling us because he felt so guilty and that he was sorry that what he intended to do was so super creepy. I was very angry and made sure he really understood how badly he'd hurt me and my friend. My friend said what he tried to do was terrible, but we all agreed to move on. He spent weeks apologizing profusely. We established he didn’t have an emotional attraction to my friend and this was not part of a pattern of behavior. He explained he felt as if he wasn't himself for a few minutes, and it scared him. He was very angry with himself, but he's been able to work through and forgive himself. Now, a month later my friend says she needs therapy for what happened, and is convinced that my husband has some sort of deep sexual and psychological problem. I understand she feels violated; however, I can't help but feel that she is projecting some of her other issues into this situation. She told another close friend, who encouraged her to file a report with the police on my husband. I asked her not to. The second friend then called and criticized me for telling the first friend not to call the police. So now, I’m angry at my husband for causing a rift in my two closest friendships, and angry at my friends for wanting to take such drastic action against him (they’ve both decided not to contact the police). I’m concerned they will tell more people and my husband and I will have to just live with the consequences. I’m thinking of ending my friendship with the two women, even though I know one is the victim—thankfully we live in different cities—because I don’t see how we’ll remain close as the years go on and we have children. I just don’t know what to do or think.