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Things- family holiday edition

6fsn6fsn member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
in Wedding Woes

- My sister and I made up.  She admitted she was being snotty and kind of "showing off." 

- sSIL announced she was coming to town Dec 21.  I said "let's do Christmas then."  Other SIL has to work overnight the night before and says she can't make it (even though she's in town and  doesn't have to work that night). Now other SIL and BIL aren't speaking to sSIL.  I feel awful because it's more my fault. 

- I tried to patch things up by suggesting an alternate outing.  MIL hates my suggestion, but thought it was BIL's idea so she's been annoyed at him.  Again, it's my fault and someone is getting blamed.

- DH still hasn't decided what he wants to do for Tday.  My mom is sort of annoyed at me for not having plans yet.  I guess I deserve someone being mad at me for someone's doing.

Ah how the holidays bring out the best.

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Re: Things- family holiday edition

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    thejucheideathejucheidea member
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    edited November 2013

    Christmas is the reason I didn't see my mom's parents for five years starting in eighth grade -- we had the audacity to go to California to visit my dying paternal grandpa for both Thanksgiving and Christmas the year before he died (in February, so pretty damn soon after), so she sent my poor maternal grandpa to our house an hour away the day we were supposed to go celebrate a late Christmas at their house and made him hand us our gifts and tell us that we were no longer welcome in their house. Since then, she's canceled planned Christmas things two other times because she feels like we've slighted them in some way when really we've just been normal, busy people.

    So I hate Christmas. My husband doesn't understand even when I explain it to him, but family holidays are painful for people whose local families hate each other and loving families live across the country.


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    Oface4evaOface4eva member
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    Holy crap to all of that.

    I am just resigned to the fact that Christmas will be crazy, I will get annoyed and I just have to decide to move on.

    Doesn't stop me from my hefty portion of bitching each year.

    Pass the booze.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    edited November 2013
    Holidays confessions:

    1) We're supposed to go to SIL and BIL's for Thanksgiving.  I don't mind going to visit them, but their house is small and we're cramming 11 people in it for 4 days. I'm sure we'll find stuff to do outside of their house, but it's still going to be quite cozy.  I'm hoping DH wants to leave as early as possible on Sunday morning.  Maybe I can get him to leave Saturday night.  Maybe FIL will get a job before then and we'll have to have T-giving here and not travel.  Maybe I'm going to end up on the bus to hell. 

    2) FIL insisted last year that we spend Christmas day with them this year.  Now that we're getting closer to Christmas, it's pissing me off to miss my family's Christmas day. We haven't done Christmas day with my IL's since I was pregnant, so it's time.   But I'm being a baby about it in my head. 

    3) My aunt wants me to travel up to Chicago with the kids to see her the day after Christmas. (She wants my sister to do the same. When my mom said she wasn't sure of our schedules, my aunt told my mom to take the kids herself.  WTF?) I could make it work, but  I really, really, really don't want to.  Really.don't.want.  I'm hoping plans will magically appear to prevent me from going. (<--I know I don't *have* to go, but I'd just rather have plans to make myself feel better about not going.  :D)

    Holiday non-bitchiness:

    4) DH and I will be off almost all of Christmas week together.  He just has to work Monday. This has never happened.  I am very asquee about this.  

    5) I received my first Christmas online order yesterday.  I can't believe I have to wait so long to give gifts.  I may start wrapping this weekend.  I love to wrap gifts. 

    6) DefConn is so excited for "Crit-mas".  We talk about it daily.  He also asks about Santa.  I've been singing Christmas carols to him daily.  

    7) Because DefConn is so into Christmas, it's making me want to decorate my house NOW.  I might be able to convince H to put the tree up next weekend since we're likely going to be OOT for Thanksgiving. 

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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    I'm glad you and your sis made up 6.  

    The rest?  It will work itself out.  :)  
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    tawillerstawillers member
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    The ILs have been out of town for MIL's job since the very first week of Oct and may not be back until after Xmas.  They are for sure missing TG.

    I feel bad for them because they're missing the kids like crazy.  Overly-dramatic MIL is terrified the girls are going to forget her.

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    6fsn6fsn member
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    When 6let was born I said we were not going anywhere Christmas day.  Anyone can come to us, but we will not leave. 

    We are actually combining Max's bday with my family holiday weekend.  We'll do a Cheerios party at our house then go to my parents for the Christmas festivities.  I hope I'm not being a bad mom and squishing the December bday in with Christmas.  This will happen in January so I'm good right?

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    6fsn6fsn member
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    @oface4eva- DH's family doesn't really drink so there is rarely booze.
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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
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    I expect the campaign of fire from MIL to start soon re: visiting for Christmas.  DH will be telling her no.  This new job has his working his butt off (he's already left for work an hour ago) and he's exhausted most of the time.  It ain't happenin'.

    My mom wants an uber-traditional Thanksgiving this year.  And she's planning it and cooking it, so I'm fine with that.  We usually do Christmas Eve with family and stay home Christmas Day.  

    At this point, I'm just looking forward to November and December being over so that I can have some things resolved in my life and move on.
    �
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    GBCKGBCK member
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    Boo for holiday drama.  But, in the 6 family, it's their fault for choosing to be mad, even if you were the catalyst, right?

    Mrs. Conn, I TOTALLY get your bitchiness o n#2.  I spent Buffy's 2nd christmas on the other side of the country and I kinda still hold a grudge about that.

    I've been getting crap for not having thanksgiving planned, but since the horrid-combined-thanksgiving of 5? years ago, it's been a PITA.  We're going to one family for lunch or dinner, one for dessert/supper.  It'll be fine, but the Mr's relatives moving here have thrown things off a bit.

    Christmas, the ILs will be on the other side of the country, so we didn't have to share (huzzah!)...EXCEPT, it's BIL&his wife's turn with HER family...but, with all that's happening, she may fly to her family's and he may stay here.  If that happens, BIL will be hanging out w/ us and tagginga long to my family's stuff.  Which will be a challenge.
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    NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
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    I'm paying to fly mom here for TG and it's the best money spent. I don't feel like doing the whole airport thing.
    image
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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    Our original plans were to have Tday with DH's family in their big ginormous traditional family reunion thing.

    But then it got cancelled*, so without consulting us, DH's grandmother announced that Tday would be the Saturday before Tday, and we had be there because she might die soon.

    I'm pissed because (a) having it in Tday when I have to work means is be limiting my time with her and now I'll have to see her for hours and hours and (b) we're grown-ass married adults, so if plans that we have agreed to change, I want to be consulted, not informed, what the new plans are.

    *i don't think the plans got cancelled; I think DH's grandmother so annoyed the family that she has been disinvited.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    PMeg819PMeg819 member
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    As much as I'm sure my dad would disagree, I have to say I love that he has always worked holidays. We never celebrate Christmas on the actual day so I never really have issues with scheduling. This year, I told everyone they can do what they want. With the baby we will be figuring it out the day before or day of.
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    GBCKGBCK member
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    I can see that Pmeg--my family celebrates on the 24th, basically never on the 25th.  It was awesome when some of us had jobs that paid triple time for the 25--we'd all volunteer to work and pay for the holidays in 1 day :)
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    PMeg819PMeg819 member
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    I cannot remember ever having all of my family together on the 25th. On Christmas Day my dad is usually working so my mom, sister, me, and DH go to the movies, eat snacks, and drink. We go to hang out with ILs for a few hours in the AM. It's way low key and I love it. There is never any dicking with days or times (at least for us).
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    LakeR2014LakeR2014 member
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    edited November 2013
    My family is awesome! My parents don't care when we celebrate just as long 'as we all celebrate together', so we always celebrate TG the weekend before TG and same with Christmas.

    My FI's family and my brothers in-laws are really REALLY big on their traditions and keeping them on their specific days (TG and 24th/25th) so we really appreciate our parents being awesome and allowing us the ability to celebrate the holidays without all the drama. 

    Oh and my in-laws do their main-huge Christmas thing together on the 24th and extend the invite to my folks - who love it each year - so we still get to celebrate the day together on that day (after our official family holiday). Yay for drama free holidays that I still get to enjoy!!! :)

    (I really appreciate how lucky I am to have that each year - it excites me to no end.)
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    Chipmunk415Chipmunk415 member
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    FI's folks are going on a cruise over TDay. FI has a lot of school stuff and finals right after Tday, so we are staying home and I am cooking (and shopping, and exercising, and getting extra crap done for work, etc).

    Christmas is still unplanned. Friend of mine is getting married December 28th in my parents' town. We are attending. Figuring out Xmas logistics after Tday- FBIL and FSIL (they got engaged last weekend! Happy dance!) are both night shift nurses, and tend to take holiday shifts so the nurses with kids can be home for christmas eve/day. Once we've got the schedules, THEN we will do the planning.

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    LakeR2014LakeR2014 member
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    Chipmunk415 said:

    FI's folks are going on a cruise over TDay. FI has a lot of school stuff and finals right after Tday, so we are staying home and I am cooking (and shopping, and exercising, and getting extra crap done for work, etc).

    Christmas is still unplanned. Friend of mine is getting married December 28th in my parents' town. We are attending. Figuring out Xmas logistics after Tday- FBIL and FSIL (they got engaged last weekend! Happy dance!) are both night shift nurses, and tend to take holiday shifts so the nurses with kids can be home for christmas eve/day. Once we've got the schedules, THEN we will do the planning.

    @Chipmunk415 I love it when people do that!  When we got older, my dad did the same thing as we enjoyed Christmas with him whenever he was home and we all knew the parents deserved to spend it with the little kids while they were still little.  As we got older (20s) my brother had a job that made him work Christmas (at a restaurant) it didn't bother us, we just did Christmas dinner at the restaurant instead so the managers with kids could enjoy the holiday with them.
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
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    I am so glad our families are in AZ and WI (and H's family doesn't celebrate Christmas, anyway) and we have to work. 

    Also, Katemas. I stopped travelling for that bitch years ago. I'm the birthday girl. You come to me, or you don't, but I work and then nap and then eat cake. 
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