Am I crazy?

KNC11 · October 2013

So my wedding is in May 2014 , It will be at my grandparents plantation in FL. I have this odd thing where I don't want anything black at my wedding... I mean ever the writing on our invitations are going to be in Navy Blue.. So how can I write this on the invitations so my guest don't wear black?!?!? The wedding is very formal..

deannagirly · October 2013

You can't tell your guests what to wear to your wedding, unless it's a costume wedding or a theme wedding.

doeydo · October 2013

It is inappropriate, IMO, to try to tell your guests that they can't wear black or to put it on the invitation.

Blergbot · October 2013

The ghosts of the plantation slaves are haunting your wedding...

[Deleted User] · October 2013

It's going to be basically impossible to stop people from wearing any black. Even if a guy wears a Navy Blue suit, there is a good chance he is going to wear black shoes. There is nothing wrong with not using black at all on your invitations, decorations, etc. And you can keep your bridal party from wearing black, but beyond that, you'll drive yourself crazy trying to get every guest to not wear black.

If there are going to be servers at your wedding, what are they going to wear? Typical serving attire is white shirt black pants & black shoes? Or the DJ too, most DJ's in our area wear black pants, a formal (tux style) vest & a dress shirt & tie/bow tie.

artbyallie · October 2013

KNC11 said:

So my wedding is in May 2014 , It will be at my grandparents plantation in FL. I have this odd thing where I don't want anything black at my wedding... I mean ever the writing on our invitations are going to be in Navy Blue.. So how can I write this on the invitations so my guest don't wear black?!?!? The wedding is very formal..

Since you asked in the title, yes, you are crazy. Black is an absolute staple, especially in formalwear. If I got an invitation that said to not wear any black, I would think you're insane and decline.

Ven&Radio · October 2013

Ditto @artbyallie.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

Yes, you are being crazy.

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

Sorry, but this is something you simply cannot control. The sooner you realize this and let it go, the happier you'll be. Take solace in the things you CAN control - like you're own outfit, your decorations, your font, whatever... But it's terribly rude to tell everyone what to wear/what not to wear.

justcallmesamson · October 2013

I agree with most everyone. A black dress or a black suit to a formal event is such a staple. I don't think this is something you can ask of your guests.

Iloveshanej · October 2013

I agree with the PPs. You can't tell people what to or not to wear. You just have to take the chance.

chibiyui · October 2013

Very formal = Most men in black suits or tuxes. Also for many women their most formal dress (after high school) is black. Don't worry about it, everything will look fine, and don't tell your guests what to wear.

augustbride33 · October 2013

I think it is your day and you can absolutely make that known.

It is as common as saying no children or saying please no gifts, etc. Assuming the guest list consist of your family and friends then they will understand. Also you can work it into the premarital festivities conversations by having your bridesmaids and groomsmen circulate your wishes so the other attendees can follow suit and not be caught off guard by your request.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

augustbride33 said:

I think it is your day and you can absolutely make that known.

It is as common as saying no children or saying please no gifts, etc. Assuming the guest list consist of your family and friends then they will understand. Also you can work it into the premarital festivities conversations by having your bridesmaids and groomsmen circulate your wishes so the other attendees can follow suit and not be caught off guard by your request.

No, no, no, no and no.

Are you kidding me? First you cannot dictate how your guests dress. At any other point in your life would you think it would be okay to tell your friends or other adults how to dress themselves? No, so why do you think that weddings are any different?

Oh and you never say "no children" or "no gifts". One, stating who is not invited is rude. And two, gifts should never be expected so saying "no gifts" alludes to the fact that you were expecting them in the first place.

And the whole "its your day" crap is just that, crap. Once you include guests into the festivities it stops just being about you and your FI.

qtrfan · October 2013

Formal wedding, I am probably wearing black because that is what I have in my closet. I guess I don't understand why you would even care that a guest wore black. If it is formal, most men are going to wear black tuxes.

Unreasonable request for sure.

PolarBearFitz · October 2013

augustbride33 said:

I think it is your day and you can absolutely make that known.

It is as common as saying no children or saying please no gifts, etc. Assuming the guest list consist of your family and friends then they will understand. Also you can work it into the premarital festivities conversations by having your bridesmaids and groomsmen circulate your wishes so the other attendees can follow suit and not be caught off guard by your request.

Please do not do the above. It is definitely not common or acceptable to do any of those things and will be completely rude if you choose to do any of them. Telling any adult guest what color to wear to your wedding is completely inappropriate. It is not your day to delegate the colors in the kingdom. That is ridiculous. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. You do not rule over everything the light touches....etc...etc...

@Maggie0829 is on point. Agreed.

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

augustbride33 said:

I think it is your day and you can absolutely make that known.

It is as common as saying no children or saying please no gifts, etc. Assuming the guest list consist of your family and friends then they will understand. Also you can work it into the premarital festivities conversations by having your bridesmaids and groomsmen circulate your wishes so the other attendees can follow suit and not be caught off guard by your request.

Does it stop being anyone else's day just because someone is getting married? (spoiler alert: the answer is no.)

I never understand this "it's YOUR day!!!" argument. How on earth does that make it ok for the bride to micromanage what people wear right down to the color. Life goes on for every one on "YOUR" day - the world doesn't stop turning and you'll probably still want to have a relationship with your guests after "YOUR" day, so treat them nicely and don't micromanage their wardrobe.

Viczaesar · October 2013

augustbride33 said:

I think it is your day and you can absolutely make that known.

It is as common as saying no children or saying please no gifts, etc. Assuming the guest list consist of your family and friends then they will understand. Also you can work it into the premarital festivities conversations by having your bridesmaids and groomsmen circulate your wishes so the other attendees can follow suit and not be caught off guard by your request.

There is no part of this post that's not dead wrong. It's almost impressive how utterly incorrect it is.

Viczaesar · October 2013

deannagirly said:

You can't tell your guests what to wear to your wedding, unless it's a costume wedding or a theme wedding.

No, not even then. The only time you can tell people how to dress is if it's a true black tie or white tie wedding, or if your venue has a dress code (like a country club). And even then you cannot control what color people wear, only indicate the level of formality or required clothing, like jacket and tie required for the club or formal gown recommended for a black tie wedding.

SarahWins · November 2013

Just because something is "common" does not mean that it is right. Grow up and realize that the wedding is not just about you. I hate it when brides say this. If it's just about you, elope somewhere just the two of you. If you want to include your friends and family, then it is about inviting them to celebrate with you. This makes it more about your guests than about you, thus making requests such as "no black attire" or "no children" is just plain rude and wrong.

Am I crazy?

Re: Am I crazy?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards