Just Engaged and Proposals

newly engaged- engagement party questions

Hi all! My FI and I got engaged very recently (november 2nd)... my mom and sister would like to host an engagement party for family and a close friend has offered to host a party for all our friends. We are so thankful to each of them and it's nice bc they are each SO EXCITED for us!!... each wants to host the events at our home (FI and I). I've heard that etiquette says you should not host your own e-party but I'm wondering if its ok for others to host the party at our home, does that look weird? It will probably be after the holidays, in January at some point...

Also, my friend will be a bridesmaid (sister will be MOH) but I haven't actually asked anyone to be in the bridal party yet. Since she is hosting for us should I ask her before the party? We are going to a bridal expo soon as well. She is being a huge help already and I know those around us are wanting to know who is in the bridal party, but we have yet to set a date (other than sometime 2015, at least 18 months).
 
thanks for any help/insight  :)

Re: newly engaged- engagement party questions

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    It's okay if other people host the party at your home. I'd wait to ask your friend to be a BM because your relationship could change a lot in 1.5 years. If you still want her to be a BM, 6-9 months before the wedding is usually plenty of time. Congratulations and happy planning!
  • I wouldn't recommend doing multiple engagement parties. It might come across like "Look at me"ish.
  • @Teddy917, every bride deserves her "look at me" time.  I say, have as many parties as you want.  Life is really hard these days, so if people have a reason to celebrate something, then go for it!
    As for location, it does not matter a bit.  People want the opportunity to say "good luck" and make toasts and share your happiness.  
    And, to address the gift question before it rears its ugly head, YES people do bring gifts to the engagement party. This is why, when couples register, they should make sure there is a large amount of choices at all ranges of the price spectra.  Some guests can afford china and some are able to bring a frying pan.  People who love you, genuinely want to help and be part of your new life together. 
  • @Lauderdale Pink, giving engagement gifts has nothing to do with people loving you or not loving you.  In my circle, engagement gifts are not expected or typical.  I usually bring a bottle of champagne.  Giving china for an engagement party, multiple bridal showers, and then a wedding can really add up-just because someone doesn't give you a present doesn't mean they don't love you.  Oh, and to say "Life is hard these days"...FFS, really?  Life is oh so hard these days?  Life has always thrown curveballs, it isn't all of a sudden "so hard".  

    OP, engagement parties aren't typical in some circles, but you know yours best.  I would suggest not inviting anyone to more than one-that would seem AW-ish.
    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    @Teddy917, every bride deserves her "look at me" time.  I say, have as many parties as you want.  Life is really hard these days, so if people have a reason to celebrate something, then go for it!
    As for location, it does not matter a bit.  People want the opportunity to say "good luck" and make toasts and share your happiness.  
    And, to address the gift question before it rears its ugly head, YES people do bring gifts to the engagement party. This is why, when couples register, they should make sure there is a large amount of choices at all ranges of the price spectra.  Some guests can afford china and some are able to bring a frying pan.  People who love you, genuinely want to help and be part of your new life together. 
    Creating a registry for a wedding 18 to 24 months out is premature, to say the least.  Yes, some people may bring a small gift to an engagement party.  However, those gifts tend to be more personal in nature, such as a picture frame, wedding planning book, or bottle of champagne.

    And I agree with freebread.....equating gifts with love is absurd.  And some of the most generous gifts I have received have been gifts of time, talent, and support.
    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • @freebread-Wow, sounds like somebody didn't get everything she wanted out of life and wants to rain on somebody else's day.  Yes, life is hard and harder now for many. Having a party to look forward to and having the chance to share a young couple's joy is a life affirming event.  I did not say that gifts = love.  Learn to read.  
    I live in a place and have family and friends who enjoy celebrating the life events of other people and who like to share the joy.  I am sorry your life does not have that aspect.
  • Anyone invited to pre-wedding parties must be invited to the wedding, so remember that when making up the invite list.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Reading the replies and all I thought of was:
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • MadHops21MadHops21 Buried in blankets
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    member
    I recently had my engagement party. It was thrown by my parents at our house. We invited family and close friends only. These people will definitely be coming to the wedding. 

    My wedding isn't until 2016, but I'm not asking anyone to be in bridal party yet. My closest friend from HS is now very distant from me and we barely talk anymore. I am glad I haven't asked anyone yet because of friendships changing like this. Typically wait at most a year out asking bridal party. 

    For the party, guests brought my FI and me a ton of champagne and wine (we don't drink) and cards and lots of picture frames. Gifts are not required for an engagement party but some guests will still bring some.
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