Dear Prudie,
Over the weekend, during a heated argument with my 15-year-old daughter, I found out that she and her boyfriend of a year have recently started having sex. I had suspected this, and, to her credit, when I asked she said yes without hesitation. I spent many years talking with her about choices and trying to develop an open relationship. We are seeing her doctor to discuss birth control and talk about reproductive health. On paper, I've done all the right things. But I am devastated! I feel pained that she didn't come to me first, sad that she made this choice so young, and afraid that something horrible will happen. I'm sure this is a normal reaction but how can I move on? How do I make her understand that even though I know she is having sex, and even though I have taken her to see a doctor, that I'm not OK with her having sex? What discussion is appropriate for her dad and me to have with the boyfriend? Clearly lying in bed weeping is not the answer.