Vent: Thank You Cards are Important!

mblake525 · November 2013

I am annoyed with my sister. Her wedding was in late May, and I never received a thank you card or a verbal thank you. This wouldn't bug me except for the fact that she was such a pain in the ass during her entire engagement. She insisted on scheduling her wedding on my birthday at first, with full knowledge that my FI had already booked a weekend in the mountains then. It was the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend and one of the few weekends I could get away. After pitching a fit, she moved it to the Monday of Memorial Day. I had to cut my weekend short (only Friday and Saturday) so I could fly down that Sunday. She then threw a fit that I wasn't taking off the TWO WEEKS leading up to her wedding to go down there (an 8 hour flight) and help her plan.

A couple months before the wedding, I mentioned to her that I lost about 15 pounds. She bitched that I wasn't allowed to lose anymore weight because I might look thinner than her. She is literally 100 pounds heavier than me. That extra 15 pounds will make no difference.

For our dresses, she picked an ugly, unflattering long dress from David's Bridal. This was a 2pm wedding in May in Alabama. No one wants to wear a long, hot dress. It didn't help that it was WAY out of my price range. I told her I could afford $120 or under. I have bills to pay, a hotel to book, and a flight to pay for, woman! She picked a dress that was just under $200 only a couple months before the wedding, so I had no time to save the extra money. She also insisted that we had to get our nails done with red tips at our expense. I'm sorry, but I hate colored tips. I won't do anything besides white, nude, light pinks, etc. I finally convinced her to let me have a soft white tip done.

The day of the wedding, she gave the other bridesmaids and me NO DIRECTION. She didn't tell us when to arrive, whether or not there would be someone to do our hair versus doing it ourselves, no direction at all. Every time I asked her, her response was, "I don't know."

In spite of all her bitching, I came with the dress, put on a happy face, and even bought her two gifts from her registry. Still, no thank you cards or even a verbal thank you. I believe she is the definition of a bridezilla.

Edited for grammar fails.

Emmy1493 · November 2013

No wedding gift thank you= no baby shower gift IMO. I'm sorry she was acting that way, OP. That just sounds horrible!

Amyzen83 · November 2013

Geez she sounds like a fun person... Judging by the many counts of rude behavior you described, I wouldn't get my hopes up on one because her head is clearly too far up her own butt it's amazing she can even manage to walk around without bumping into stuff much less write a decent thank you card.

Inkdancer · November 2013

She sounds like a real peach. /eyeroll

arrippa · November 2013

Yikes!

At least you know you were the bigger person. What is it about weddings that bring out the worst in people? It's like they have a license to be rude.

southernbelle0915 · November 2013

She sounds ungrateful and spoiled, but I think your beef with her is more about how unappreciative and bratty she is/was toward you in general. It sounds like the lack of thank you note is small fries and par for the course compared to her other antics.

HisGirlFriday13 · November 2013

mblake525 said:

I am annoyed with my sister. Her wedding was in late May, and I never received a thank you card or a verbal thank you. This wouldn't bug me except for the fact that she was such a pain in the ass during her entire engagement. She insisted on scheduling her wedding on my birthday at first, with full knowledge that my FI had already booked a weekend in the mountains then. It was the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend and one of the few weekends I could get away. After pitching a fit, she moved it to the Monday of Memorial Day. I had to cut my weekend short (only Friday and Saturday) so I could fly down that Sunday. She then threw a fit that I wasn't taking off the TWO WEEKS leading up to her wedding to go down there (an 8 hour flight) and help her plan.

A couple months before the wedding, I mentioned to her that I lost about 15 pounds. She bitched that I wasn't allowed to lose anymore weight because I might look thinner than her. She is literally 100 pounds heavier than me. That extra 15 pounds will make no difference.

For our dresses, she picked an ugly, unflattering long dress from David's Bridal. This was a 2pm wedding in May in Alabama. No one wants to wear a long, hot dress. It didn't help that it was WAY out of my price range. I told her I could afford $120 or under. I have bills to pay, a hotel to book, and a flight to pay for, woman! She picked a dress that was just under $200 only a couple months before the wedding, so I had no time to save the extra money. She also insisted that we had to get our nails done with red tips at our expense. I'm sorry, but I hate colored tips. I won't do anything besides white, nude, light pinks, etc. I finally convinced her to let me have a soft white tip done.

The day of the wedding, she gave the other bridesmaids and me NO DIRECTION. She didn't tell us when to arrive, whether or not there would be someone to do our hair versus doing it ourselves, no direction at all. Every time I asked her, her response was, "I don't know."

In spite of all her bitching, I came with the dress, put on a happy face, and even bought her two gifts from her registry. Still, no thank you cards or even a verbal thank you. I believe she is the definition of a bridezilla.

Edited for grammar fails.

Yes, she is.

But "no" is neither a four-letter word nor a bad word. At any point, you could have said to her, "Look, I am willing to do X, Y, and Z. Nothing more than that. Either that's sufficient and you'll be happy with it or you won't, but that's what I'm willing to do."

mblake525 · November 2013

Yes, she is.

But "no" is neither a four-letter word nor a bad word. At any point, you could have said to her, "Look, I am willing to do X, Y, and Z. Nothing more than that. Either that's sufficient and you'll be happy with it or you won't, but that's what I'm willing to do."

You're 100% correct. I did say no at many points: canceling my birthday plans, getting my nails done, etc.. However, it is my sister and I wanted to be supportive. It is in the past now. She better know that I am going to remember this when she has kids. Their auntie will get them the loudest, most obnoxious toys along with loads of coffee. I am in another state. That's my sister's problem. Mwhahaha!

clarke10 · November 2013

No more gifts for her!

KeptInStitches · November 2013

Honestly, I don't think a thank-you card really would make this better. I mean, I understand needing some one transgression to hang on to, but the thank-you card wouldn't make up for how she treated you.

I fully support the idea of noisy toys.

mblake525 · November 2013

KeptInStitches said:

Honestly, I don't think a thank-you card really would make this better. I mean, I understand needing some one transgression to hang on to, but the thank-you card wouldn't make up for how she treated you.

I fully support the idea of noisy toys.

That's the thing, I just wanted to be thanked. I wanted her to recognize that I went out of my way to help and accommodate her demands. My sister has always been like this. I knew what to expect going in. I was just hoping that she could stop being selfish for the 2 minutes it takes to write and address an envelope. Oh well.

Amyzen83 · November 2013

My sisters kind of the same way...

HisGirlFriday13 · November 2013

mblake525 said:

KeptInStitches said:

Honestly, I don't think a thank-you card really would make this better. I mean, I understand needing some one transgression to hang on to, but the thank-you card wouldn't make up for how she treated you.

I fully support the idea of noisy toys.

That's the thing, I just wanted to be thanked. I wanted her to recognize that I went out of my way to help and accommodate her demands. My sister has always been like this. I knew what to expect going in. I was just hoping that she could stop being selfish for the 2 minutes it takes to write and address an envelope. Oh well.

Those statements are inconsistent. If she's always been like this, she'll always BE like this.

You do have my sympathy, you really do. DH's grandmother is churlish, childish, petty, vindictive, manipulative, and rude. Did I hope she'd put it away for our wedding? Yes. Did I realistically expect it? No.

So, while it would have been nice for your sister to not be a self-absorbed cunt-waffle, it sounds like there wasn't ever a real chance of that, for which you have my empathy.

mblake525 · November 2013

I realize that it was an unrealistic expectation. She has always been demanding. There is nothing I can do about that; I can't force her to be thankful. It is a minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things. C'est la vie.

wrigleyville · November 2013

My cousin was a complete asshole to my brother when my cousin got married. I started referring to my cousin as Groomzilla.

Anyway, when my cousin and his wife had twin boys, I started buying them the loudest toys possible. Last year, they got four talking Elmo dolls (two for each kid) and two toy trumpets.

Petty? Yes.

Satisfying? HELL yes.

Amyzen83 · November 2013

I just wouldn't give rude bride/groom jack $h--t if I or if we're treated that poorly with no thank you of any kind.

SP29 · November 2013

Holy rude Batman!

cowgirl8238 · November 2013

mblake525 said:

Yes, she is.

But "no" is neither a four-letter word nor a bad word. At any point, you could have said to her, "Look, I am willing to do X, Y, and Z. Nothing more than that. Either that's sufficient and you'll be happy with it or you won't, but that's what I'm willing to do."

You're 100% correct. I did say no at many points: canceling my birthday plans, getting my nails done, etc.. However, it is my sister and I wanted to be supportive. It is in the past now. She better know that I am going to remember this when she has kids. Their auntie will get them the loudest, most obnoxious toys along with loads of coffee. I am in another state. That's my sister's problem. Mwhahaha!

Haha...noisy toys, the best way to get revenge while still taking the high road!

Amyzen83 · November 2013

Or embarrassing bridal shower gifts such as a breast pump, or anti-baby rash creams, stretch mark remover creams, you get the idea!

Bruins63 · December 2013

Ugh I went through almost the same BS with my brother's now wife!!

They were saying all along wedding will be fall 2014, fall 2014. Great so January 2013 fiance and I book a $7,000 dream vacation to Asia with travel date Oct 6th, 2013.

She decides in May you know, the hell with fall 2014- I booked the wedding for Oct 4, 2013. I was like you have GOT to be kidding me. So now on top of paying for the vacation and saving spending money, I have to pay all the bridesmaid expenses as well!! She also picked a hideous $200 dress, she also made a big deal about having a fancy catered shower that I had to chip in for, gave them a shower gift and a wedding check out of my vacation savings.

And on top of it, my parents live out of state so I had to host them at my house while I'm trying to pack and get last minute vacation things taken care of!! And I as well got no thank you from either of them.

jdluvr06 · December 2013

After reading some if the bridezilla post on here I feel very lucky to never have encountered one. OP you sister sounds like a spoiled brat.

Chipmunk415 · December 2013

OP, your sister belongs in Etiquette Hell. I would quietly stop acknowledging any kind of celebration/birthday/Christmas for her, save for perhaps a 0.99 card so she can't say "you never think of meeeeee!" (Yes, yes you did, you sent a card, but are not obligated to give gifts).

I was known as "good auntie, bad sister" for a few years because I deliberately got my nieces noisy toys when they were toddlers. The younger one is now into art- I got her a children's pottery wheel. The mess shall be glorious. The older is a "know it all" so books of facts are always good, hah!

Tried establishing a relationship with a cousin (uncle and my mom are not close at all), never got a thank you note. I stopped sending gifts after two rounds and no acknowledgment whatsoever. Eventually, they get it.

MrsMack10612 · December 2013

I get your frustration, but October is the Fall.

kerbohl · December 2013

MrsMack10612 said:

I get your frustration, but October is the Fall.

Look at the dates in the post you are referring to - the girl moved it up a whole year. So yes, it was in the fall as she had planned, but an entire year earlier. Hence the poster's frustration.

Vent: Thank You Cards are Important!

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