How long is too long to wait to send thank yous?

RebeccaB88 · December 2013

"Because I want to use our joint address as husband and wife" is a damn piss-poor excuse for not sending your thank you notes in a timely manner. No one cares about this. All I would think is that you didn't care enough to thank me for my gift, and I would never once look at or care what the return address said.

RebeccaB88 · December 2013

"Because I want to use our joint address as husband and wife" is a damn piss-poor excuse for not sending your thank you notes in a timely manner. No one cares about this. All I would think is that you didn't care enough to thank me for my gift, and I would never once look at or care what the return address said.

WildMagelet · December 2013

We're getting married in 4 weeks. Maybe its too long but I intend to send the first batch out the day before the wedding for shower and party gifts. (in total about 7 weeks from first shower to mailing date) Nearly ever gift at the shower was addressed to my FI and I. We want to send out thank you cards from the both of us. We are writing and addressing them as we receive but are are opting to wait until we can address the return address as a couple sharing the same name and our new shared address (because we're also moving... don't move and marry at the same time... really just don't) before we put them in the post. Anything received the week of, the actual wedding or post wedding will be handled upon our return from our honeymoon or asap.

If I attended your shower and you didn't bother to send me a thank you before the wedding nearly two months later I would highly reconsider what I would give you for your actual wedding, if anything.

GrrArgh · December 2013

flutterbride2b said:

We're getting married in 4 weeks. Maybe its too long but I intend to send the first batch out the day before the wedding for shower and party gifts. (in total about 7 weeks from first shower to mailing date) Nearly ever gift at the shower was addressed to my FI and I. We want to send out thank you cards from the both of us. We are writing and addressing them as we receive but are are opting to wait until we can address the return address as a couple sharing the same name and our new shared address (because we're also moving... don't move and marry at the same time... really just don't) before we put them in the post. Anything received the week of, the actual wedding or post wedding will be handled upon our return from our honeymoon or asap.
If I attended your shower and you didn't bother to send me a thank you before the wedding nearly two months later I would highly reconsider what I would give you for your actual wedding, if anything.

**Stuck in the box**

Everyone breathe into a paper bag, I promise it's going to be alright. 1. It's what we're planning to do, not what we have done yet we aren't even 2 weeks out from the first shower at this point. I may revisit the idea I may not that's our choice but thank you for the advice. and 2. as for you reconsidering giving anything for the actual wedding after already giving at the shower, I didn't even consider that people WOULD do shower and a wedding present. To assume that is a bit greedy don't you think? So that being the case, I will discuss it with my FI and see what he thinks.

banana468 · December 2013

It may be a social circle thing but we received shower and wedding gifts. When we go to a shower we absolutely p plan to give a wedding gift too.

KeptInStitches · December 2013

I always give for both showers and weddings as well.

TheBaysideBride · December 2013

Ummm hmmmmm - thank you notes aren't done for the benefit of the gift RECEIVER, they're done to thank the GIVER. don't wait to send them. It's rude. Just thank them from your first names.

TheBaysideBride · December 2013

And frankly, as someone superstitious, I wouldn't pre-write them as a married couple before you are actually married.

LiLe422 · December 2013

GrrArgh said:

We're getting married in 4 weeks. Maybe its too long but I intend to send the first batch out the day before the wedding for shower and party gifts. (in total about 7 weeks from first shower to mailing date) Nearly ever gift at the shower was addressed to my FI and I. We want to send out thank you cards from the both of us. We are writing and addressing them as we receive but are are opting to wait until we can address the return address as a couple sharing the same name and our new shared address (because we're also moving... don't move and marry at the same time... really just don't) before we put them in the post. Anything received the week of, the actual wedding or post wedding will be handled upon our return from our honeymoon or asap.

We have also spoken with our photographer because we really like the idea of doing a few photo thank yous for our OOT friends and family members who we know are sending gifts but are unable to attend the wedding. Maybe we're just lucky but after speaking with our photographer she has agreed to rush retouching on a few of the pictures (we're leaving which ones up to her with a few directions as to what we're looking for) that can be plugged directly into the format of the a pre-picked (format, not message) thank you photo card which my fantastic MOH/Big Sis is handling for us. They should be printed and delivered to the doorstep within 1-2 weeks for us to write our personal messages and thank yous on, meaning at most we'd be looking long side 3-4 weeks post wedding for gifts received the week/day of but again that's not for every guest.

Yeah, I really don't think anyone gives a shit what last name/return address is on the card. You know what they do give a shit about? Receiving a timely ty note. Get them bad boys out asap (using your maiden name and current address.)

LiLe422 · December 2013

GrrArgh said:

We're getting married in 4 weeks. Maybe its too long but I intend to send the first batch out the day before the wedding for shower and party gifts. (in total about 7 weeks from first shower to mailing date) Nearly ever gift at the shower was addressed to my FI and I. We want to send out thank you cards from the both of us. We are writing and addressing them as we receive but are are opting to wait until we can address the return address as a couple sharing the same name and our new shared address (because we're also moving... don't move and marry at the same time... really just don't) before we put them in the post. Anything received the week of, the actual wedding or post wedding will be handled upon our return from our honeymoon or asap.

We have also spoken with our photographer because we really like the idea of doing a few photo thank yous for our OOT friends and family members who we know are sending gifts but are unable to attend the wedding. Maybe we're just lucky but after speaking with our photographer she has agreed to rush retouching on a few of the pictures (we're leaving which ones up to her with a few directions as to what we're looking for) that can be plugged directly into the format of the a pre-picked (format, not message) thank you photo card which my fantastic MOH/Big Sis is handling for us. They should be printed and delivered to the doorstep within 1-2 weeks for us to write our personal messages and thank yous on, meaning at most we'd be looking long side 3-4 weeks post wedding for gifts received the week/day of but again that's not for every guest.

dp

GrrArgh · December 2013

Talked to the FI, naturally his response "Sounds fine to me babe" ::Facepalm:: they'll go in the mail tomorrow, I need stamps.

GrrArgh · December 2013

Tread Hijack...

How do you write a thank you for a truly abysmal gift? I am typically over joyed at the idea that someone would even consider buying us a gift, let a lone actually giving us one.

This one however comes from a family member (His side) that we generally don't get along with, she's is notoriously self centered and stingy all the way around with everything she does including making people pay $3 per person including kids.... to come to family bbq's at her 2 million dollar house (we don't attend BBQs there anymore) for hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill.

She gave us a $10 dollar iron... we didn't even put an iron on our registry because I have a very nice iron. She apparently had even asked my FMIL if we needed an iron and she was told no we have a nice one... and she went and bought it anyways from a store we aren't even registered at. So far our note consists of "Thanks for the iron." help...

HisGirlFriday13 · December 2013

GrrArgh said:

Tread Hijack...
How do you write a thank you for a truly abysmal gift? I am typically over joyed at the idea that someone would even consider buying us a gift, let a lone actually giving us one.
This one however comes from a family member (His side) that we generally don't get along with, she's is notoriously self centered and stingy all the way around with everything she does including making people pay $3 per person including kids.... to come to family bbq's at her 2 million dollar house (we don't attend BBQs there anymore) for hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill.

She gave us a $10 dollar iron... we didn't even put an iron on our registry because I have a very nice iron. She apparently had even asked my FMIL if we needed an iron and she was told no we have a nice one... and she went and bought it anyways from a store we aren't even registered at. So far our note consists of "Thanks for the iron." help...

Dear Relative:

Thank you so much for attending my/our shower! We enjoyed being able to share our special day with you. We're looking forward to seeing you at the wedding.

It was so kind of you to think of giving us a gift! The iron is lovely and we very much appreciate the gesture.

Thank you again, so much, for sharing our day with us.

Love, GrrArgh and FI

southernbelle0915 · December 2013

HisGirlFriday13 said:

GrrArgh said:

Tread Hijack...
How do you write a thank you for a truly abysmal gift? I am typically over joyed at the idea that someone would even consider buying us a gift, let a lone actually giving us one.
This one however comes from a family member (His side) that we generally don't get along with, she's is notoriously self centered and stingy all the way around with everything she does including making people pay $3 per person including kids.... to come to family bbq's at her 2 million dollar house (we don't attend BBQs there anymore) for hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill.

She gave us a $10 dollar iron... we didn't even put an iron on our registry because I have a very nice iron. She apparently had even asked my FMIL if we needed an iron and she was told no we have a nice one... and she went and bought it anyways from a store we aren't even registered at. So far our note consists of "Thanks for the iron." help...

Dear Relative:

Thank you so much for attending my/our shower! We enjoyed being able to share our special day with you. We're looking forward to seeing you at the wedding.
It was so kind of you to think of giving us a gift! The iron is lovely and we very much appreciate the gesture.
Thank you again, so much, for sharing our day with us.

Love, GrrArgh and FI

This. I don't care if someone wrote you a check for $1. They get a sincere thank you note. That's four gumballs, you lucky dog.

GrrArgh · December 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

GrrArgh said:

Tread Hijack...
How do you write a thank you for a truly abysmal gift? I am typically over joyed at the idea that someone would even consider buying us a gift, let a lone actually giving us one.
This one however comes from a family member (His side) that we generally don't get along with, she's is notoriously self centered and stingy all the way around with everything she does including making people pay $3 per person including kids.... to come to family bbq's at her 2 million dollar house (we don't attend BBQs there anymore) for hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill.

She gave us a $10 dollar iron... we didn't even put an iron on our registry because I have a very nice iron. She apparently had even asked my FMIL if we needed an iron and she was told no we have a nice one... and she went and bought it anyways from a store we aren't even registered at. So far our note consists of "Thanks for the iron." help...

Dear Relative:

Thank you so much for attending my/our shower! We enjoyed being able to share our special day with you. We're looking forward to seeing you at the wedding.
It was so kind of you to think of giving us a gift! The iron is lovely and we very much appreciate the gesture.
Thank you again, so much, for sharing our day with us.

Love, GrrArgh and FI

This. I don't care if someone wrote you a check for $1. They get a sincere thank you note. That's four gumballs, you lucky dog.

which is why I asked for help. thanks

RebeccaB88 · December 2013

Write the note as above, then after the wedding, quietly donate it somewhere it will be appreciated. Preferably somewhere far away from the giver.

RebeccaB88 · December 2013

Write the note as above, then after the wedding, quietly donate it somewhere it will be appreciated. Preferably somewhere far away from the giver.

How long is too long to wait to send thank yous?

Re: How long is too long to wait to send thank yous?

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