Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Bully In-laws ended reception early - venting


We provided shuttles to and from the reception since it was sort of remote. Shuttles were supposed to running all night until about 2. My in laws called shuttle company and changed the departure time for everyone to be 9:30. Diner ended at 9. People were leaving before we even had our first dance.

I didn't really understand why everyone was leaving until someone told me the drivers were telling people if they didn't leave now they would be stuck and there would be no way for them to get home.

I am so bummed out. The only thing I was looking forward to about my wedding was spending time with our friends. This really became my in-laws wedding in more ways than one. They had asked if they could pay since they wanted to invite so many people (groom's side was 90% of the wedding guest list). I thought it was fine and I didn't realize what monsters they would turn into. Now I know better for the future. I just feel sad that we didn't get to drink and hang out with our friends.

Re: Bully In-laws ended reception early - venting

  • What has your husband said to them?
  • He doesn't know. He thinks it was a confusion with the shuttle company. 
  • They completely overstepped the boundaries, IMO, taking it into their own hands and calling the company to change the time without even telling you and your H.  I think that you need to tell him and he can have a talk with them.
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  • Wow. I'd be really angry and upset. I'm sorry they did that. I also think you should tell your H. 
  • They had every right to change the time since they paid for the event.  Was is it rude and horrible they ended the night early without even letting the couple know?  Of course!  But they had every right to do it because it was their money.

    I just can't believe that they did that because I assume that they paid for the evening to go on until a certain point so cutting it short meant that they lost out on the money that they put into it.

    OP, how do you know what they did and your H doesn't?  I think you should tell your H what happened and then let him handle it.

  • They did lose out on some money since the band and caterer had expected to be there a couple hours later. They may have changed their contracts beforehand though as well. I don't know. THey don't like parties, dancing, or alcohol and thought "socializing with our friends is something we could do another time, not at our wedding"
    Their insistence on ending the event at 9:30 was one of the things that originally prompted us to tell them we were cancelling the wedding they were planning, paying for it ourselves and would send them an invite to an event we were hosting. They were so insistent that they would relax and be flexible and let us have an event we felt comfortable with that we decided to go ahead. Wrong choice, as soon as the invites went out they became a nightmare.

    Honestly Prettybirdy27, marrying my husband wasn't what I was looking forward to. I felt a lot more excited and "getting married joyous" when we were by ourselves in city hall getting our marriage license. The wedding itself was so foreign and had so little to do with us that it just seemed out of body and weird. The officiant was great but everything else was so much about my in-laws that I felt like a bystander. They even stood next to us during the ceremony.

     I just wish we had the wedding we originally planned - 15 family members in a small weekend ceremony and a cocktail party with our friends the next weekend. Instead I thought I was being a good daughter in law by letting them to have a big wedding they really wanted.
    A wedding should be about you and your marriage. I am sad that I let the whole thing become about them and their control, their friends. I am also sort of pissed that I supposed to be grateful for having "had a big wedding" as though it were a gift to me instead of a party for them.
  • Something is rotten in Denmark.
  • lastminute2013 said:


     They even stood next to us during the ceremony.


    Whaaaaaaaat???  Like, scootched their way in without asking you?  The hell?  Did they let your parents stand up too or just them?


    STUCK IN BOX: 

    OP, are you/your H Jewish? It's typical in a Jewish wedding that both sets of parents stand up for the ceremony (the entire time)

  • That's terrible. I'm sorry to hear you didn't have the wedding you wanted (and I would rarely say that to someone). 

    I would tell your husband about this, because if they were that controlling about your wedding what's going to happen when it comes to deciding which family to spend holidays with? Raising your kids? You two need to be a united front. 
  • Definitely tell your husband, but I, too, am curious how you know this and he doesn't. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Updates OP??

  • WOW! It sounds like everything you planned they overruled. Sorry this happened to you. I agree that you should speak to you husband about this as I suspect that there may be future milestones/events that they will want to overtake.
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