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What to do about a loose engagement ring, when your fingers are smaller than a 3.5?

kcmalokcmalo
edited May 2013 in Just Engaged and Proposals
I am newly engaged as of less than three weeks ago. After my fiance proposed, we went engagement ring shopping together. After going to multiple jewelers, we found a ring that I absolutely adore at Frost & Co, and we bought it. Before the purchase, we were measured for ring size -- I have very small fingers and was worried about having them size down a ring to fit. The representative at Frost told me that unlike all of the other jewelers that we visited, such as Jared's, Kay's, etc., they never size down rings but make them bespoke for the client. They measured me at a "perfect" 3.5, but when we went to pick up the engagement ring days later when it was ready, I commented that it felt a bit loose. They THEN told me, after it was already made and bought, that they can't size my ring down to smaller than a 3.5 because it wouldn't be able to hold the diamond. They said that they could give me plastic grips to put inside of it. I decided to take the ring without the grips to see how it went. However, after having worn it around, I can now say that it is definitely too big. Everytime my hands get wet, it just slides right off! I have left it in the box and have not even been wearing it as I'm afraid of it falling off my hand. I am very anxious about going back into the shop and complaining as I sometimes get panic attacks, and my fiance is overseas. We paid for this fancy ring that was supposed to be customized to my size. I don't want to give it back, and I don't know what to say to the company. What should I do? I could really use some suggestions.
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Re: What to do about a loose engagement ring, when your fingers are smaller than a 3.5?

  • calliopeia2013calliopeia2013 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    Well, here's the pragmatic part of the answer first- you seem to have two choices: either wear the ring you have now with a ring guard (the plastic grips they were referring to), or exchange the ring for one with a setting that will allow for a smaller sized band.

    You can probably take what they said at face value regarding whether it's possible to size the current band any smaller without it loosening the diamond's setting, but it might be worth getting a second opinion from a local jeweler you trust.

    It's unclear to me from this whether or not you think the store intentionally sized you incorrectly in order to make a sale.  It's possible that this happened; it's also possible that you just went to the store to get sized at a time when your hands were swollen for whatever reason, and you were correctly sized at a 3.5 at the time.  What is the outcome you're looking for here?  That would help me in offering advice on what to say to the store.

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  • vanityinkvanityink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I'd just get a ring guard. I have one for my engagement ring since my fingers shrink substantially when they're cold (the ring twirls around my finger in the winter and then fits perfectly in the summer).
    photo a826c490-726a-4824-af5c-d938878de228_zpseb85bb5a.jpg
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  • xomegabee1218oxxomegabee1218ox member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I too have small fingers my ring is a size 3.5 that felt slightly loose and top heavy.  My jewelry inserted two small metal "balls" into the inside of my band to prevent it from continuously twirling around my finger, and to get a more snug yet comfortable fit.  Not sure what exactly these "balls" are called but he just sodered them in and he can soder them out.  
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  • xomegabee1218oxxomegabee1218ox member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Also I know that certain rings cannot be sized down smaller depending on their style.   Most private jewelers and stores wont order a size smaller than a 5, then they size it down.  So even though I love rings with full diamonds on the band, my ring couldnt be ordered that way since my fiance knew I was smaller than a 5
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  • annmarie714annmarie714 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I second @xomegabee1218ox's suggestion of getting the balls put into the ring.  You can even have them add 3 to help make it more secure.
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
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  • mmmiler346mmmiler346 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    It does to seem fair that they sized your finger and it did not fit. I you paid to get it custom made it should fit perfect! it is something you are going to wear everyday and i don't think you should have to buy and wear a ring guard. I would complain.
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  • runpipparunrunpipparun member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Ack! Poky balls! Before we had our engagement ring redesigned (my sapphire fell out during a home improvement project because it was poorly set to beging with), a jeweler put "poky balls" in my ring. I'm a 4.5 or a bit smaller, but I have bony knuckles, which makes it harder to size down.

    ANYWAY. There are other options besides poky balls (which I hated). The appraiser I used, who is also a former jeweler designer, showed me an array of ring sizing options. They can put a small flat bar across the bottom of the ring, small humps instead of balls, and even little hinged devices.
    image
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  • kcmalokcmalo
    Thanks for the replies - they took awhile to show up on my computer, though I'm new to how theknot.com works. I was feeling upset, as mmmiler stated, because the ring was supposed to be custom-fit, and this potential sizing down problem had not been mentioned to me by the jeweler beforehand. It wasn't that I thought that I had been intentionally missized -- just unprofessionalism. Why would they brag about their custom sizing to later tell me, when it didn't fit, that I would need sizing balls? I did return and the ring itself measured in at a perfect 3.5, so I suppose my fingers are a bit smaller than that size. I think part of it might also have to do with my knuckle. When the ring sits upright, it doesn't easy slide off the knuckle. But, when it gets turned to the side due to the weight of the diamond and the small finger base, it slides off easily at that angle. Also, it slid off way too easily when I would merely wet my hands or wave like a maniac. I ended up agreeing to get the sizing balls, which aren't as bad as I thought they would be, and sort of act like a Chinese finger trap for the ring, and they waived the charge. The ring is pave, though not an eternity band, so when pushed, they said they could technically take it down to a 3.25, but they strongly did not recommend it. They also had the hinged device that runpipparun mentioned, but they said that was more for people with arthritis.

    And for StageManager14, I also wear a 2.5 US children's size shoe. I have no idea where I am going to find proper shoes for the wedding. Most of my dress shoes have patent leather and velcro on them. :P
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  • tiny specktiny speck member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    My rings are 3.5 as well, but they fit fine like that. Other than what PPs have suggested I don't know if there's much else to be done short of getting a different type of ring. It sounds like you've found a solution for now with the sizing balls; I hope that works out for you long term!
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  • MoxieMickieMoxieMickie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    For shoes, you can also look into ballroom dance shoes for kids. I remember hearing about them when Suri Cruise was wearing them a lot
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  • maurawritesmaurawrites
    First Comment Name Dropper

    @kcmalo I wish I'd seen your post sooner. My ring is a size 3 and it started at 3.25. Lots of jewelers told us I couldn't have the little diamonds that go on the side of the center diamond because the smaller the band, the more likely stones are to pop out of them. I was disappointed because I loved the skinny bands with diamonds all around.

    The good news is we found a private jeweler who said poppycock to that and made me what I wanted. My center diamond is 1/2 carat, but it's another 1/2 carat of small diamonds around the skinny bands. I had to get it resized because it was too loose, like yours, and it made me nervous. I didn't want the little ball or ring spacer because it looked bulky. The jeweler resized it down to a 3 and it feels so much better.

    I can't speak about the center stone being heavy and making it drop to the side, but I'd ask private jewelers in your area for more opinions on resizing. If, by happy happenstance, you're in the MI area, I have a guy for you.

     

    Confession: when I am cold, it's still looser than I want, sliding up right up to my knuckle. But I refuse to have a ring sized at 2.5.

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  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Go to a jewelry repair or goldsmith with the ring and ask if they can do anything to help.
    image
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  • besswills2000besswills2000 member
    First Comment
    you are right mmmiler346, it doesn't seem fair to request a custom made ring, yet it doesn't fit well. I got married Dec 2013 and i'm having same problem at the moment. I went sizing for my wedding ring set, yet its loose on my finger, so I am always conscious about it, which isn't comfortable at all. Will request the jeweler does something about it, or just go with the option of a ' ring sizing ball' as suggested by others, but definitely mot a ring guard.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @besswillis2000 this thread is from May 2013. 
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