Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Invitations & Paper
Wedding Invitations & Paper
New Discussion

No children wedding Question

ShanaKatherineShanaKatherine member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
We prefer to not have any children at our wedding, how do I make this clear when I send out invites? I read that on the invitation envelopes if children were invited it would say " Mr. & Mrs. Joe Smith & Family". So I assume that the names of only those invited on the envelope is clear cut. I've got everyone's significant others names so that I can put it right on the envelope, since we are not going to have a "plus one" space on the RSVP card. So my question is, how have others with a no children wedding handled this?


Report Reply to Post

Re: No children wedding Question

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You don't put "And Family" or mention the names of anyone uninvited on an invitation.

    That's really the only option etiquette provides.  If someone RSVPs that they plan to bring their children or anyone else you didn't list as invited, then you are forced to contact them and say that you're sorry for the misunderstanding but only those listed on the invitation are invited.  Sadly, too many people don't realize this or believe that their children/uninvited date/whomever are exceptions to this rule.  You need to stand firm.
    Report Reply
  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    What jen said, but i had no problem with people assuming thier kids were invited. I had one person ask if her kids could come, but didn't have any rsvp or demand their kids be allowed to come.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    photokitty said:
    What jen said, but i had no problem with people assuming thier kids were invited. I had one person ask if her kids could come, but didn't have any rsvp or demand their kids be allowed to come.
    You were lucky.  But the OP wants her wedding to be adults-only, so she doesn't want people to make the assumption that their kids are invited.  Unfortunately, people may do that anyway.
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2013
    Ditto Jen. Just don't put the names of the kids on the envelope, and if people RSVP with their children, contact them and tell them the invitation is only for John and Jane, not little Susie. 

    And for anyone else reading with this question, you really shouldn't ever put "and family" on the invitation b/c that opens up a whole bunch of invitation possibilities. "What do you mean I can't bring my cousin Ida? She's my family, and this invitation says for my family!" 

    You would think common sense would kick in, but as my husband says, if sense were common, everybody would have some, and the simple fact is that tons of brides come on here all the time with crazy "self invited" and "people inviting others" stories, so you just can never be too sure what people are going to do. 



    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • mellyD2014mellyD2014 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    There's a lot of good advice on this over on the etiquette board. It's absolutely against etiquette to say anything about it being an "adult-only event" or anything like that. In my opinion, the best way to get around that is to word the RSVP card in the following way:

    "To Mr. & Mrs. John Doe, we have reserved 2 chairs in your honor"

    Something like that makes it quite clear that the invite is addressed only to those people and not any additional family members. My fiance and I will definitely be doing something like this. Good luck!
    Report Reply
  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    southernbelle0915 said:
    We didn't have kids at our wedding. We addressed the invites only to those invited (as Jen said) and worded our RSVPs something like this:

    "We look forward to celebrating with you!
    Name(s)_______________________
    ___ # attending
    ___ decline with regret"

    If anyone RSVP'd with a higher number or different names than what was on the invite, we would follow up. Worked for us.
    This is similar to what we did. We only had two people RSVP with a higher number than they were invited for -- one of DH's co-workers and the BM. The co-worker DH told, "I'm sorry, the invitation was just for you, will you be attending?"

    The BM we let slide because we would have invited him if he'd told us he was seeing someone, and the rest of our WP was either married/engaged/living together/in a serious relationship/dating someone so they all got their SOs invited.

    He was the lone "truly single" person, and the only reason we didn't give him a plus-one from the get-go is that he was traveling from Florida to PA for the wedding, and having a family vacation with his parents, and staying with his parents for two weeks, so we kind of figured he didn't want to bring a date. But then, hey, he did, and that was cool. 
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    Report Reply
  • ShanaKatherineShanaKatherine member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Thanks Jen!
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    ShanaKatherine said:
    Thanks Jen!
    You're welcome!  Best wishes and congratulations!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards