NOT excited about dress shopping?

pumpkinsandturkeys · September 2013

I feel like a complete oddball saying this (I can't even believe I feel this way), but most days, I'm NOT excited about the prospect of wedding dress shopping. I'm definitely excited to get married (I've waited over 4 years for this!) and I love checking everything else off of my to-do list... But the dress just feels like a chore. I think part of me is afraid that I'm so picky that I won't find anything I love? Or I've overwhelmed myself with dress porn and I don't know what I like anymore. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Totally didn't expect this feeling!

ohxhi · September 2013

I am 100% with you! I wasn't into it at all. I've been watching wedding shows on TV since I was like 10 and I've been planning my wedding ever since. But I've been so concerned with everything else, really trying to make my vision for the day into a reality, that the dress just kind of seemed secondary. But I went to try dresses on with my mom and my aunt and we had SUCH a good time. I had a lot of luck- the shop had a great staff and the girl I worked with brought me exactly what I said I wanted (plus what I swore I didn't want just so that I could be sure - I recommend that, you might get some good laughs). Some of the dresses were gorgeous, some where terrible and some were just downright funny.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Try not to be one of those girls who has to try them all on. And don't feel like you HAVE to cry or have some sort of dramatic reaction. I didn't cry and neither did my mom. I was like, I look nice in this one, and my aunt said she had goosebumps and that was it. I say enjoy it for what it is. We're only going to do this once - right?

pumpkinsandturkeys · September 2013

That was pretty much exactly what I needed to hear -- thank you!

My best friend keeps telling me to just relax and go with it and take it for what it is, instead of trying to control it and turn it into what I think it should be, which is pretty much exactly what you recommended (and what control freak me tends to do haha). I've been so laid back about everything else, there's no reason why the dress should stress me out, either.

ShellLillian · September 2013

I understand that completely.
Honestly I hate clothes shopping in general. I'm very picky, I have a strange body type, and it seems like my taste is generally WAY out of my budget.
So while I'm excited about getting married in the perfect dress, I am 110% dreading having to find it. Finding a prom dress was hell enough.
I'm going to start looking in a couple of weeks and it will probably just be my mom with me. She knows how much of a pain I am to shop with and I trust her to be honest. The other two women close to me I think will add more stress than it's worth (my aunt and best friend).

ksanc009 · September 2013

I would only suggest to try and find a Bijou Bridal near you. Their dresses are very affordable (all under $3000 and made with Swarovski) and exquisite!!! You will have a great time there.

ohxhi · September 2013

Have fun with it! I'm excited to hear what happens after you go

pumpkinsandturkeys · October 2013

I did it -- I went dress shopping! I decided to go... ALONE. I went to two shops on my own: a typical little bridal boutique, and a consignment bridal boutique because I knew they would have a lot of different options (and I tend to be very picky). It was a little overwhelming, and I ended up liking things I never thought I would, and hating things I thought I would love. But the most important part was that it was about ME and what I wanted. I went back to the consignment place tonight with my mum and best friend, knowing my likes and dislikes, and it made a world of a difference -- I found my dress!

tammym1001 · October 2013

I'm so glad you found your dress and it doesn't sound like it was as bad as you thought it would be. Do you have a picture?

ShellLillian · October 2013

Yay!
You're giving me hope for when I start this weekend. Congratulations!

kellibastien · October 2013

Congrats! It seems like such a relief, doesn't it? I was SO SCARED to go shopping with my mom. But it really IS amazing what you realize you like and dislike on you once you start trying dresses on... and I ended up trying on about 20 dresses. Always thought (especially with my body type) that I'd want a big ball gown type dress. However I found every big ball gown I put on made me feel like Ursula! In the end I ended up with a fit and flare dress. Basically the complete opposite of what I thought I would want!

pumpkinsandturkeys · October 2013

@tammym1001 My iPad isn't cooperating with posting photos right now, so I'll try to upload one from my work computer tomorrow! @kellibastien I was the total opposite! I thought I wanted a fit and flare or sheath, and every one I tried on made me feel... Nothing. But then I discovered tulle ballgowns (the poofiness I swore I never wanted!) and fell in love! Hated satin ballgowns on myself, though.

kellibastien · October 2013

Wow! See... It's amazing what you find out once you start trying gowns on!

pumpkinsandturkeys · October 2013

It really is! I never would have imagined choosing this dress, but I'm so in love with it. Still having issues uploading pics, but here's a link to someone selling the same dress on Tradesy that shows it from a bunch of different angles (I think I'm opting for no sash/belt): http://www.tradesy.com/weddings/wedding-dresses/enzoani-fawn-wedding-dress-78401

ohxhi · October 2013

It's gorgeous! Congratulations! It's so funny how stressful the dress seems, but once you find the one, you know it. It really is a lot like finding the guy

Except you'd think we'd have a better idea of what's going to look good on us, but it seems like we all ended up with something different than we were expecting. I'm really excited for both of you @kellibastien and @pumpkinsandturkeys. Finding the dress is a big deal! And it's October now so we're at the 7 month mark - it's going to be here before we know it

pumpkinsandturkeys · October 2013

Doesn't it fly by so quickly?? I keep thinking that May is so far away and that we all have so much time, and then I think about how fast the last couple of months have gone by... Exciting and scary! Haha

tammym1001 · October 2013

I love your dress. It's so pretty!

pumpkinsandturkeys · October 2013

Thanks!!! I found it sooo pretty and romantic -- it definitely changed my mind about ballgowns! Mine is a sample, so it will need a little fluffing up (the tulle is sitting a little flat right now), but other than that, it's in perfect condition

kellibastien · October 2013

Wow! That is a gorgeous dress! Congrats!

pumpkinsandturkeys · October 2013

Aw, thanks! I'm super excited to wear it

What does yours look like @kellibastien?

kellibastien · October 2013

I swear this picture doesn't do it justice... It looks a lot different on me. It's very sparkly, and I got a belt to add to it that's full of crystals.
Hopefully this works!

pumpkinsandturkeys · October 2013

Ooh, I really like that @kellibastien ! That's going to look so pretty, especially with the belt you described.

pumpkinsandturkeys · October 2013

@ohxhi I just realized that we never saw a pic of your dress! What does it look like?

ShellLillian · October 2013

I was so not excited and stressed about it, but our first day of dress hunting was last Saturday and it went great. I just brought my mom and we went to 4 different places. At the first one, I found two dresses I loved, one that I was absolutely in love with. The second two there was nothing, and at the last one I found one I loved as well. Also, none were ridiculously expensive and we had a lot of fun.
Those were all of the places we wanted to check out near where I live, this weekend we are going to all of the places near where my mom lives. After that we'll make a decision, but we all think it's going to be the one at the first place.

Just a not, something that I guess I should have expected but kind of bothered me about 2 of the 4 places was that they only carry samples in sizes 14 and up. I know they do that because they don't have a lot of space and want to be able to get the largest number of brides in the largest number of dresses, but I'm pretty small and having the dresses clipped down so much made it really hard to see what the heck the dress was going to look like in the back. The back of the dress was really important to me and that annoyed me a little. The first place we went to had nearly everything in a size 6 or so and a size 14 or so, plus a few in larger sizes. Obviously it took a lot more space to hold all of them, but it was a much better experience (the one I fell in love with fit me perfectly, so I was able to see exactly what it was going to look like minus a couple small alterations because I'm short).

pumpkinsandturkeys · October 2013

I'm so glad you ended up having a good experience, @ShellLillian ! I hear you on the smaller sizes -- I'm a street size 6 and have a few more lbs to lose/tone up to get back to where I was before an injury caused me to gain weight, so while it was a nice ego boost to have some of the dresses clipped, it was also hard to envision how they were going to look once they fit me properly. But I definitely prefer that experience to feeling like there's nothing I can fit into, so it's good that they carry gowns that accommodate the widest range of shapes and sizes

rfinch316 · January 2014

I'm glad it went well!!! For me, it didn't (at first) but I ended up in the dress of my dreams!

Dress shop #1: Very expensive, designer, boutique in the heart of downtown. FMIL insisted we go there, despite my protests. I knew it was too expensive. I knew it was NOT my scene. Turns out, I wasn't wrong. Found one dress I really loved, hopes were crushed when price was revealed. By the way, the veil alone was 4x what I paid for my actual veil. The dress... don't even get me started.

Dress shop #2: Very well known national bridal shop. I went with just my MOH because I had a bad experience with shop #1 and FMIL and wanted to go somewhere to lift my spirits. Terrible decision. Consultant literally put me in everything I said I didn't want (stating "But it'll be cute! You'll see!). I asked to see something more along what I wanted (A line, lace dress in white or light ivory) and she huffed at me and said "We only have like two of those in the whole store, and you won't like them anyway." I insisted. She huffed some more, brought them, (wouldn't help me into them like she had all the others), and when neither were the one stated "I told you!" So, obviously I didn't buy anything that day and left feeling like there was nothing out there for me, even though I really didn't feel like my requests were that outlandish.

Dress shop #3: Not exactly national, but certainly a "chain" bridal store. I decided I was going by myself. I had already been humiliated twice and wasn't about to do that again. I walked in, looked for maybe 3 minutes and walked out. It was way too overwhelming. Rack after rack after rack of these giant white dresses in plastic bags! It was all too much.

So, the next time I went, I asked for a consultant. She was fabulous! I tried her #1 pick first and LOVED it. I liked all the rest of the dresses she picked, as well. I actually hated every one of my picks! Unfortunately, because I had chosen to go alone, I had no one with me to share the excitement with! (Thankfully, the consultant ended up taking some pictures for me.) So then I had to get everyone back together to see the dress/approve before I would buy it.

NOT excited about dress shopping?

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