Pre-wedding Parties

Theme ideas for engagement parties

So far I like the champagne and chocolate party idea or maybe a Sunday brunch buffet but it's been hard finding "themes" or ideas for parties that fit. I'm looking for something unique (& classy, fun, and creative) without doing a full sit down dinner to save money as I am on a tight budget. Anyone have any thoughts or ideas? 

Re: Theme ideas for engagement parties

  • Thats rude. Not everyone has others who are in-tune with what needs to happen for a wedding. 

    It is 2014. You want to plan your own engagement party, Go right ahead! People also think its silly that I am paying for both of the wedding bands. We are also paying for our entire wedding. So lets be nice. 

    OP. I think that is really cute. How many people are you inviting? If you do a Sunday brunch you could do a "make your own champagne cocktail bar" get a big bucket, get a couple bottles of champagne. Get a couple punch bowls and fill those with different kinds of juice. Do little scones, and muffins, bagels, and fruit. :) 

    I would go simple. Anyone's house you can have it at? 
  • These hosting beliefs really have me confused...you don't host your own engagement party but brides and grooms should not expect anybody to pay for their wedding.  Well if they pay for the wedding, who is hosting it.
    @ Sarahtrg-I like the Sunday brunch idea, which is generally my favorite food, can make a great buffet (which keeps people moving) and is generally completely different from the wedding.  If you go with champagne and chocolate, you might want a nice variety of desserts and make it late enough so people know they will not be getting a full meal.  Either way, enjoy the moment.
  • You don't throw your own engagement party, and I would find a themed engagement party annoying regardless of who throws it.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Hosting is not the same as paying, first of all. Second, a couple can host their own wedding,  which is not a party celebrating themselves since the reception is the thank you to the guests for attending the ceremony. Yes, I know there's all sorts of silly "look at me" traditions at the reception, but it is designed as a time to receive guests. 

    And engagement party IS a complete "look at me" party. You are inviting people to fawn over you and bring you gifts. That's rude and selfish. 
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  • @PDKH, you are splitting hairs.  Of course a wedding reception is a total "look at me and bring me gifts event".  When have you ever heard of a wedding where people do not bring gifts?  To me, the engagement party is just a time to bring everybody together to celebrate the newly engaged couple.  Many times, people do not bring gifts to this event.  Often, they treat it like any other dinner, with a bottle of wine or small hostess gift.
  • @PDKH, you are splitting hairs.  Of course a wedding reception is a total "look at me and bring me gifts event".  When have you ever heard of a wedding where people do not bring gifts?  To me, the engagement party is just a time to bring everybody together to celebrate the newly engaged couple.  Many times, people do not bring gifts to this event.  Often, they treat it like any other dinner, with a bottle of wine or small hostess gift.
    No, the wedding industry has turned receptions into look-at-me events. Receptions traditionally were much simpler and they are still not meant to honor the couple, they are meant to honor the guests. That is why you feed the guests and thank them for coming to the ceremony. Guests may bring, not required, presents, but they are not for the reception, they are for the act of getting married.

     Reception - receive. If you want to request that people celebrate yourself for getting engaged, fine, but know it's in poor taste to do so. If you really just want a get together, why not just host a dinner party that doesn't honor yourself? If you're suggesting the get together solely because you got engaged, you are honoring yourself. 
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  • kaenobis said:
    Thats rude. Not everyone has others who are in-tune with what needs to happen for a wedding. 

    It is 2014. You want to plan your own engagement party, Go right ahead! People also think its silly that I am paying for both of the wedding bands. We are also paying for our entire wedding. So lets be nice. 

    OP. I think that is really cute. How many people are you inviting? If you do a Sunday brunch you could do a "make your own champagne cocktail bar" get a big bucket, get a couple bottles of champagne. Get a couple punch bowls and fill those with different kinds of juice. Do little scones, and muffins, bagels, and fruit. :) 

    I would go simple. Anyone's house you can have it at? 
    This is awful advice!  You don't throw yourself your own engagement party.  Times may change, but good manners and proper etiquette don't.
  • I am NOT the one throwing the party but my input was asked for on themes and details. Perhaps that wasn't considered by some of the posters.
  • sarahtrg said:
    I am NOT the one throwing the party but my input was asked for on themes and details. Perhaps that wasn't considered by some of the posters.
    Your thread got derailed by the second poster. It wasn't clear by your OP if you were the bride or not. 

    As far as "themes" - what about just going with what the bride likes? What are her likes, favorite colors, hobbies? Or planning it like a wedding with just colors and small motifs?
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  • OP, I don't think you really need a "theme" but our e-party was a Sunday brunch and it was lovely.  I would stress, please go casual.  E-parties should not be big productions and should not feel like mini-weddings.  FMIL ended up inviting way more people than we thought she would, and even though ours was at a very casual restaurant, I was sort of overwhelmed and I think my dad side-eyed it as being too big.  So, KISS.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Ah, those engagement parties!
    Engagement party is to announce the engagement .
    If your parents have arranged your engagement , naturally they'll throw a party and announce the engagement. ( Per E. Post , they'll call on each other first, then announce and then may or may not throw a party)

    If you yourselves have decided to get engaged, you are the ones who should make the announcement. That means invite the families and friends and give them the news. That IS the engagement party.
    Most likely you already told them the moment it happened , but you still can invite them to meet.

    Most of the belief that e-party has to be held by the family and it is a matter of ettiquette,  is coming from E, Post . But she also said many other things that make the young couple and the bride in particular look somehow incompetent.

    If a young man and his parents are very close friends it is more than likely he will already have told them of the seriousness of his intentions. Very possibly he has asked his father’s financial assistance, or at least discussed ways and means, but as soon as he and she have definitely made up their minds that they want to marry each other, it is the immediate duty of the man to go to the girl’s father or her guardian, and ask his consent. If her father refuses, the engagement cannot exist....
    If the finances are not sufficiently stable, the father may tell him to wait for a certain length of time before considering himself engaged...
     As soon as the young woman’s father accepts the engagement, etiquette demands that the parents of the bridegroom-elect call at once (within twenty-four hours) upon the parents of the bride-to-be. ...
    The announcement is invariably made by the parents of the bride-elect. It is a breach of etiquette for a member of the young man’s family to tell of the engagement until the formal announcement has been arranged for....

    And so on.
    A person can choose if she wants to follow  that ettiquette.
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