Food and Cakes

Cake/Cupcake Dilemma...help!

Okay, so my fiance and I decided we want to do cupcakes for all of our guests (in lieu of sheet cake or decorated cake) due to budget restraints. 

We would still like to have a small cake to cut/eat/save for our 1 year anniversary/etc. though. I've seen many cupcake weddings that have a one-tier small cake up top, then cupcakes surrounding it. In that situation, what part would bride and groom cut? If the top was cut and eaten, then what would be saved for a year? My fiance suggested we do a small 2-tier cake for us and the bridal party (only 6 people total), then provide cupcakes for the guests. That way, we'd have an uneaten top tier to save but would still have a nice cake to cut.

Is that a bad idea? Or is this commonly done? Any other suggestions??

Thank you!

Re: Cake/Cupcake Dilemma...help!

  • Most bakers will actually make you a whole new top layer for a reduced price since you already bought a cake from them. Ours said we can call her and she'll make us a whole new top layer in a year for $15. Personally I would rather go for that because then at least you don't have to worry about it getting cut into.

    But the cupcake thing is super common here. Most people around here do the smaller cake for the bride and groom. I would not serve sliced cake to just the bridal party though because then they're getting something different. It's better to just have the top thing for you guys to cut into and feed each other cake from and then have everyone else eat cupcakes.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    We had cupcakes and a small tier to cut. We cut a small slice from the tier and then, once home, sliced the rest of the tier up, wrapped the slices well and then froze those slices. However those slices did not make it to our one year anniversary. In fact they hardly made it past a month from our wedding day...H and I just couldn't leave them alone :)

    tammym1001
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    Okay, so my fiance and I decided we want to do cupcakes for all of our guests (in lieu of sheet cake or decorated cake) due to budget restraints. 

    We would still like to have a small cake to cut/eat/save for our 1 year anniversary/etc. though. I've seen many cupcake weddings that have a one-tier small cake up top, then cupcakes surrounding it. In that situation, what part would bride and groom cut? If the top was cut and eaten, then what would be saved for a year? My fiance suggested we do a small 2-tier cake for us and the bridal party (only 6 people total), then provide cupcakes for the guests. That way, we'd have an uneaten top tier to save but would still have a nice cake to cut.

    Is that a bad idea? Or is this commonly done? Any other suggestions??

    Thank you!
    If the cake and cupcakes are of the same quality, this will be fine.  But, I think you might have a problem sharing your tiered cake with your wedding party and not the guests.  It could lead to perceptions that your wedding party is getting something, or a better quality of something, that your guests are not getting, which would be rude.  So I think you need to be careful with this.

    If I were you, I'd cut a cupcake, not a tiered cake, at your reception, and get a tiered cake you can cut privately on your anniversary.
  • I am having a small cake for cutting and cupcakes as well... we are just going to keep one of the cupcakes to split on our anniversary.

  • Jen4948 said:
    Okay, so my fiance and I decided we want to do cupcakes for all of our guests (in lieu of sheet cake or decorated cake) due to budget restraints. 

    We would still like to have a small cake to cut/eat/save for our 1 year anniversary/etc. though. I've seen many cupcake weddings that have a one-tier small cake up top, then cupcakes surrounding it. In that situation, what part would bride and groom cut? If the top was cut and eaten, then what would be saved for a year? My fiance suggested we do a small 2-tier cake for us and the bridal party (only 6 people total), then provide cupcakes for the guests. That way, we'd have an uneaten top tier to save but would still have a nice cake to cut.

    Is that a bad idea? Or is this commonly done? Any other suggestions??

    Thank you!
    If the cake and cupcakes are of the same quality, this will be fine.  But, I think you might have a problem sharing your tiered cake with your wedding party and not the guests.  It could lead to perceptions that your wedding party is getting something, or a better quality of something, that your guests are not getting, which would be rude.  So I think you need to be careful with this.

    If I were you, I'd cut a cupcake, not a tiered cake, at your reception, and get a tiered cake you can cut privately on your anniversary.
    I'm all for not granting privileges for the WP and proper hosting, but come on. This is no different than having a small decorative cake and a sheet cake of the same cake in the back to save money. Is someone seriously going to be upset and demand to know if the cupcakes are the same as the small cake the bride and groom cut?

    Cutting a cupcake would look so silly IMO, so I don't blame you for wanting a small tiered cake. I think Maggie's idea sounds good. 
    image
    kmmssgMaggie0829
  • I think you should just have your baker make you a fresh cake on your anniversary.  Then you can cut a slice out of the small round to feed each other and serve everyone else the cupcakes.  After teh wedding you can slice up the rest of the top tier and do whatever you wish with it!
  • We're going to do one tier to cut for photos and then cupcakes for everyone. We wanted a variety of flavors and are doing a dessert table so it makes sense.

    We are just going to go order a fresh cake for our 1 year but you can always cut the tier and then wrap it to save.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    PDKH said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Okay, so my fiance and I decided we want to do cupcakes for all of our guests (in lieu of sheet cake or decorated cake) due to budget restraints. 

    We would still like to have a small cake to cut/eat/save for our 1 year anniversary/etc. though. I've seen many cupcake weddings that have a one-tier small cake up top, then cupcakes surrounding it. In that situation, what part would bride and groom cut? If the top was cut and eaten, then what would be saved for a year? My fiance suggested we do a small 2-tier cake for us and the bridal party (only 6 people total), then provide cupcakes for the guests. That way, we'd have an uneaten top tier to save but would still have a nice cake to cut.

    Is that a bad idea? Or is this commonly done? Any other suggestions??

    Thank you!
    If the cake and cupcakes are of the same quality, this will be fine.  But, I think you might have a problem sharing your tiered cake with your wedding party and not the guests.  It could lead to perceptions that your wedding party is getting something, or a better quality of something, that your guests are not getting, which would be rude.  So I think you need to be careful with this.

    If I were you, I'd cut a cupcake, not a tiered cake, at your reception, and get a tiered cake you can cut privately on your anniversary.
    I'm all for not granting privileges for the WP and proper hosting, but come on. This is no different than having a small decorative cake and a sheet cake of the same cake in the back to save money. Is someone seriously going to be upset and demand to know if the cupcakes are the same as the small cake the bride and groom cut?

    Cutting a cupcake would look so silly IMO, so I don't blame you for wanting a small tiered cake. I think Maggie's idea sounds good. 
    Sorry, but them's the rule-the wedding party, or couple, does not politely get anything in the way of food or drinks that guests do not.  If you're going to have a tiered cake, it must be of the same quality as the cupcakes or better.  Or don't cut any cake and just serve the cupcakes.  The OP can even get a small tiered cake to cut in private on their first anniversary.  But they need not to give them impression that they are getting anything the guests are not.  Because, YES!  Guests are going to get pissed if they get the idea-even if it is logical but erroneous-that the couple are giving themselves something only for themselves and not the guests.
  • Yeah, I agree with @Jen4948.  I wouldn't serve anything different to the wedding party (or eat it myself).  Some people much prefer slices of cake to cupcakes, and I don't think it's not really a matter of "same quality"--they're different desserts.  If you really want to have a traditional cake cutting, I would just have sheet cakes for the guests, so everyone can have a piece of cake.  I find it really hard to believe that cupcakes are cheaper than sheetcake for the same number of guests.  If you really want to have cupcakes, feed each other a cupcake.

  • We are doing a small 2-tier cake for one for cutting and the top she is donating to us for our anniversary.  Everyone else is getting cupcakes.  I wouldn't worry about serving anything different for the wedding party.

     

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    I'm sorry but there is a big difference between slicing a small cake for the cake cutting aspect and serving said cake to yourself and your bridal party while your guests just have cupcakes.

    In fact, I really don't even see a big deal in serving the sliced cake to whoever wants it or just to yourselves while others grab cupcakes.  In my mind cake is cake whether that be in sliced or cup form.

    Now what I would say is bad is having cake just for you and your wedding party while your guests get nothing but mints.

    And I also don't agree that even though it is the same batter, that a slice of cake is a different dessert then a cupcake.  Both have icing, both have cake, the form really doesn't matter.  I mean if the form really mattered then it would not be okay to have a small tiered cake for cutting and prettiness and then have sheet cakes of the same quality in the back for the guests.  Because if form equals different desserts then a sheet cake is a different dessert from a tiered cake.

    manateehuggerkmmssgtammym1001
  • I'm sorry. If you have time to worry about whether your cupcake is equivalent to a slice of cake that the bride and groom are eating, you've got too much time on your hands. You're being fed cake by your host; just enjoy it and move on. I would laugh in a guest's face if they said something like that at our table. How silly. 

    Do you inspect your slice of cake at the wedding to see if you got the stacked sheet cake or part of the decorative cake? How is a cake a different dessert than a cupcake, except in aesthetics?
    image
    Maggie0829kmmssgtcnobleJ&B0602
  • Don't serve the wedding party a slice cake and the guest cupcakes that just seems tacky instead why don't you opt to have a jumbo cupcake made to slice for you to do your caking cutting and just have 1-tier for show and save for your 1 year.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    PDKH said:
    I'm sorry. If you have time to worry about whether your cupcake is equivalent to a slice of cake that the bride and groom are eating, you've got too much time on your hands. You're being fed cake by your host; just enjoy it and move on. I would laugh in a guest's face if they said something like that at our table. How silly. 

    Do you inspect your slice of cake at the wedding to see if you got the stacked sheet cake or part of the decorative cake? How is a cake a different dessert than a cupcake, except in aesthetics?
    This is what you might do, but not everyone is you.

    What everyone will see is that the bridal party has a cake to cut, while the guests don't get to eat it.  That has the appearance of "tiered" hospitality (literally) even if it's not the reality.  And appearances can and do piss people off.  Assuming anything, let alone that people will "act like adults" or not care, is setting oneself up for trouble because, as they say, to assume makes an ass out of you and me."
  • I'm with PDKF and Maggie on this one.  Sorry Jen but I think you are looking too far into the weeds on this one to find something wrong.
    Maggie0829tcnoble
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I agree that having a small cake to do your cake cutting and serving your guests cupcakes isn't a bit different than cutting a small cake and serving them sheet cakes from the back. I would seriously laugh at anyone I overheard complaining because they got a cupcake instead of a slice of the small cake the bride and groom were cutting. And IMHO you would look stupid cutting a cupcake for your cake cutting pictures. 
    image
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    edited January 2014
    kmmssg said:
    I'm with PDKF and Maggie on this one.  Sorry Jen but I think you are looking too far into the weeds on this one to find something wrong.
    And sorry, but I disagree with the three of you. 

    Let me ask you this:  Supposing the OP was doing a champagne toast, but she and the other wedding party members all got their champagne out of a champagne-labeled bottle, while everyone else got champagne served from a soda bottle?  Are you still going to be okay with that?
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    Jen4948 said:
    kmmssg said:
    I'm with PDKF and Maggie on this one.  Sorry Jen but I think you are looking too far into the weeds on this one to find something wrong.
    And sorry, but I disagree with the three of you. 

    Let me ask you this:  Supposing the OP was doing a champagne toast, but she and the other wedding party members all got their champagne out of a champagne-labeled bottle, while everyone else got champagne served from a soda bottle?  Are you still going to be okay with that?
    If it is all champagne in the end then what does it really matter what kind of bottle it came out of? Would I think it odd that champagne it being served out of a soda bottle?  Sure, but if everyone is getting champagne then there really is no difference is there?

    Now if the wedding party was being served champagne and the guests were being served actual soda then no I would not be okay with that.  But if champagne is being served to everybody the vehicle in which it is being served really shouldn't matter because everyone is getting the same thing.

    kmmssgtammym1001laurenstlouistcnoble
  • Jen4948 said:
    kmmssg said:
    I'm with PDKF and Maggie on this one.  Sorry Jen but I think you are looking too far into the weeds on this one to find something wrong.
    And sorry, but I disagree with the three of you. 

    Let me ask you this:  Supposing the OP was doing a champagne toast, but she and the other wedding party members all got their champagne out of a champagne-labeled bottle, while everyone else got champagne served from a soda bottle?  Are you still going to be okay with that?
    If it is all champagne in the end then what does it really matter what kind of bottle it came out of? Would I think it odd that champagne it being served out of a soda bottle?  Sure, but if everyone is getting champagne then there really is no difference is there?

    Now if the wedding party was being served champagne and the guests were being served actual soda then no I would not be okay with that.  But if champagne is being served to everybody the vehicle in which it is being served really shouldn't matter because everyone is getting the same thing.
    A- freaking-men
    EarthToChelseaohannabelletcnoble
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    The problem is, the guests will see that the bridal party is being served something in a different form from what they are getting and will have no way to know that it is the same or better.

    And it is just bad fucking hospitality to have tiered provisions or the appearance of it.

    You can not care and think this is ridiculous, but this does not invalidate my opinion or etiquette, which says that the bridal party is not served something different from what the guests are.
  • Alright everyone, simmer down. Haha. We decided to do a 2-tier cake for ourselves, and sheet cake for the guests and bridal party. It turned out to be cheaper that way, surprisingly. Didn't mean to cause an argument, though I really don't think the guests would have cared either way. Just wanted some opinions.

    Thanks, all! 
    Chelsea
    jessicabessicatcnoble
  • It was all good Chelsea, no need to worry.
    EarthToChelseamanateehugger
  • I work as a wedding coordinator for a cupcake bakery, and 99.9% of the time, couples order cupcakes for their guests and a small 6" top tier for their cutting ceremony. In my years of working as a bridal consultant for this store, I have had couples that served their bridal party from their top tier (granted, not many couples, but it's certainly something I see/hear about every now and then.) To date, I have never had a single couple tell me that their guests took any issue with the fact that they cut and ate their top tier (or served their WP with it)--but of course, I'm not attending my couples' weddings and I'm not overhearing everything the guests say to each other but not the couple... Of course it varies from bakery to bakery, but I can at least attest to the cupcakes at the store I work for, that if I were a guest at a wedding that had our cupcakes, I would MUCH rather have a cupcake than a slice of the top tier: they're jumbo, gourmet cupcakes with more interesting flavors and decor than the simple 6" top tier (usually just a simple white on white, because the bride doesn't want to stain her dress or mouth) that we whip up for the couple's cutting ceremony. I believe it was mentioned earlier, but it's still cake, made by the same baker/bakery, it's just in a different form: one is a slice, and one is a cupcake. There's no difference in the quality (at least there shouldn't be, if the cake and cupcakes are ordered from the same bakery), just how they're presented and, obviously, the fact that one is a 6" cake and the other a cupcake.

    If you're worried about how to save the top tier, I'm sure I can scrounge up specific instructions on how to do so--or, if the bakery you're going with is anything like mine, we always send out a little anniversary present to our past couples on their 1 year, giving them a coupon to come in and get a free cupcake version of their top tier. Maybe your bakery can do something similar if you decide to not go the saving-for-one-year route? Just a thought!

    Best of luck with your cake!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    image
  • Why not just do all cupcakes? My FI and I don't even like cake so are considering just doing cupcakes and keeping the top cupcake for our 1 year. Who says you have to CUT a cake? Just each pick up a cupcake and feed a bite of it to each other.
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    We cut a small cake (of which we had one whole bite) and then the guests had cupcakes. Our cake was lemon, and one of the cupcake flavors was the same lemon. They were from the same bakery. I doubt any of our guests felt slighted that we got one bite of a cake and they got an entire "slice" (aka cupcake) of the same kind as the cake. 

    Seriously, when I make a cake at home, I have 2 options: Mix this batter and pour it into a cake pan, or mix this batter and pour it into muffin cups. It's the same thing, just sized differently. 

    OP, we did not want to freeze and eat a cake a year later, so our intention was to have the same bakery make us another small lemon cake on our anniversary. We moved out of state, though,so we didn't get to do that. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • We are doing the cupcake thing as well, because we are also serving a full four-course meal including dessert, and a late-night fruit/cookie/squares buffet. There will be so much dessert half the cupcakes won't even get eaten, but that's ok. We are also doing the top tier, mostly because my bridesmaid who is baking the cupcakes does a beautiful job coordinating them and it will be decorated exactly like the cupcakes so there will be almost no difference. We have not yet decided if we will cut the top tier because we found a great idea to make our cake-toppers these gorgeous 'bride and groom' cupcakes, and we will likely just eat those. The cupcakes will be a mix of chocolate and vanilla and some topped with light purple rose-shaped icing, and others dark purple rose-shaped icing. I loved this idea immediately and it definitely does potentially solve the cake-cutting dilemma.
  • See me and my fi are planning a cupcake sheet cake aka tear away cake for ours so we are going to be cutting a couple cupcakes away from the sheet cake thing leaving the top full cake for saving or something like that
  • We have a small cake that we may freeze or we may eat before we freeze (I'm thinking I'll be in the boat with @Maggie0829 and we won't be able to stay away).  I wanted the small cake so we could decorate the top.  We are cutting a cupcake though to feed each other during the reception.  Maybe 2 because we can't agree on the flavor (he likes the "regular" cake, I like the cool flavors). :)  We can agree on "no cake smashing" because of my superstitions but not a flavor. LOL
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards