Snarky Brides

No kids at the wedding

Has anyone had this type of wedding? No children vs. children? I want no children, because it is a later wedding/reception with dancing and an open bar. I love children, but I don't feel as though they should be around until 12:30-1:00. If anyone has not invited children, how did you deal with it? And what was your logic behind it?

Re: No kids at the wedding

  • I didnt want children, cause... I dont like children lol. I didnt invite them and I had a few family members who didnt attend because of it but we had an excellent time without them.
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  • I'm like Nebb. FI and I don't like children so we're not inviting children.

    Playing the devil's advocate though, most parents aren't going to stay until 12:30-1 when they have their kids. And if they do, chances are they have other arrangements made for them.
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  • We didn't invite children.  We didn't give anyone any explanations - we just invited the adults only.  Our friends were more than happy to have a night out to enjoy themselves.

  • Yeah, I feel similar. I just really dislike dealing with the backlash. My parents feel slighted because of no children. My main goal of this wedding was just to have a huge party for everyone to celebrate and enjoy themselves. Thanks for the imput :) makes me feel a little less alone in this no children wedding.
  • I like the way you all think! 

    Loopy: I like the 'night out' effect. I feel as though my friends should enjoy a night out! 
  • We didn't invite kids because H's cousins all have so many kids that 25% of our guest list would have been kids and we only had room for 80 guests. We didn't give a reason for it I think most people just understood. I think that most people weren't planning on bringing their kids anyways and enjoyed a weekend away without them.
    Knottie1430923696
  • I think MOST people are cool with an evening out without the kids, but theres always that parent that is joined at the hips with their kid and those are the ones who cause a fuss. My cousin is like that with her 2 kids and she was the only person we had who said anything about us not inviting her children. Everyone else seemed ok.
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  • But duh guys, weddings aren't real without kids, remember?
    JK
    We're inviting kids (lots of them) but I can totally understand why people wouldn't want kids.  Just as long as you are clear on the invitations who is invited (ie Mr. and Mrs. John Doe instad of The Doe Family), you should be fine.
  • I put on my invites under the reception info that it was an Adult Only Reception. I want my guests to be able to have an adult night out and enjoy their time and not worry about kids all night.
  • In Response to Re: No kids at the wedding:
    I put on my invites under the reception info that it was an Adult Only Reception. I want my guests to be able to have an adult night out and enjoy their time and not worry about kids all night.
    Posted by christenmarie
    OP, please dont do this.
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  • We'll be inviting children, mostly bc that's what we want, but our guest list includes many family members with kids, some w/ young 'kids' as well as 18+ 'kids' which could get tricky, we also know most of the families will be traveling and will prob decline if it was adults only. That's our guest list though, so do what you and your FI wants, and what will work best for your situation. 

    I've been to many adults only and kids invited weddings, I think the major thing to keep in mind is how you communicate the adults only aspect. When my aunt and uncle got married (I was about 10) they wanted an adults only reception, but they claimed this was bc kids are messy and loud, but they did provide a babysitter for all the kids. My parents bit their tongues, but they weren't real happy when the 'babysitters' were two 12 year olds...anywho basically this is your decision, but how you communicate 'adults only' is key. 
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  • We didn't invite kids and it worked out fine. Like others have said, we don't particularly care for.kids in that setting so we didn't have them. Some people on my husband's side didn't make the trip out for that reason, but we were perfectly fine without them. One family on his side did show up to the hotel with kids the night of our RD and my FSMIL begged me to find room for them. It pissed me the eff off (and my H did ask that they not bring the one month old to the ceremony), but it worked fine in the end. It was the right choice for us and we don't regret it.
  • Really? They give you that option of wording when making the invites. Some people just don't have the common sense to only come if their names are only listed on the invite. I don't need my aunt, uncle, and their 6 kids showing up (they are the kind of people that would do it).  I'm sure plenty of people have received invites with that on it and have not be insulted by it. I don't find it to be a big deal I'm only showing that it's a child-free night so they can make prior arrangements for a babysitter, or so they can decide if they want to still come. Maybe it's not for everyone to put that on their invites, but it was an option and I'm not ashamed of doing it. I don't find it tacky I'm just letting people know what's going on that day.
  • lol who is THEY?! Its tacky. You dont put that on invites, you dont put anything about dress code, gifts or whos not invited!
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  • Wedding websites and invitation sites are in it to make money, and they don' t really care if you are being rude or tacky. Just because it's an option doesn't mean you have to take it.

    OP, you are fine to not invite kids, but please don't put "Adults only" or "no children." Address it to only those who are invited. You can even put on your response card We have 2 seats reserved in your honor" or something to that effect. Or "___ of 2 will attend." Even if you put "adults only," it doesn't guarantee someone won't RSVP for them, and this way you don't risk offending anybody.

    FWIW, if you did decide to invite children for whatever reason, most parents will leave when they think it's too late for their kids to be out. We had children at our wedding (ours ended at 11), and most families packed up by around 10. Just something to think about if you do invite kids after all. I wouldn't worry about how late they are out.


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  • We are giving our guests the option of bringing their kids or not.  Family wise, there's not that many children to make a difference, and friend wise, we have several mutual friends who will have kids under a year old.  Our wedding will probably be the first big thing to bring the baby out too, and I'm okay with it.

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  • No kids invited to our wedding because it would put us over our max head count at our venue.  So far, it's been NBD, except with one person (who wasn't even actually invited, she took it upon herself to invite herself, her husband, 2 little kids and her friends 2 little kids, but that's another topic entirely).  

    All our family and friends with kids are looking at this as a date night, and are excited to come...without kids.

    The only exceptons are the 3 in the WP.
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  • The no kids thing is tricky, if you're having them, be prepared to stand your ground.  FI and I were trying to start figuring out our guest list the other day, we had decided we were only inviting children we were close to, mostly family or very close friends.  He had listed "kid 1" and "girl 2" at least four times on his list, while I had not included several kids I would have liked to have included, whose names I actually know.  Those are going to be interesting discussions!  Good thing we have plenty of time to figure it out.
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  • Also be prepared that some parents cannot leave their babies (i.e. mom's that are breastfeeding newborns). We have four friends who are having babies within five weeks of our weddings, so we either had to allow the newborns or tell the parents not to come. Considering one of them was the Best Man's wife, we went with allowing newborns only.
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  • Like everyone else said it's totally OK to not invite kids to your wedding, but there might be a few people who cannot make it because of this. (Small babies are a good example, another is a family coming from out of town.  It might be hard to find someone to watch several kids for a whole weekend.)
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  • In Response to Re: No kids at the wedding:
    Also be prepared that some parents cannot leave their babies (i.e. mom's that are breastfeeding newborns). We have four friends who are having babies within five weeks of our weddings, so we either had to allow the newborns or tell the parents not to come. Considering one of them was the Best Man's wife, we went with allowing newborns only.
    Posted by cu97tiger
    Beating a dead horse I know but breastfed infants of any age would apply to this, not just newborns (in terms of mom not wanting to leave them)
  • We have managed to sidestep the question. 

    We have a very small guest list and of it, only two families have anything like "kids". One of the families has an 18 year old who might be at boot camp at the time and a 16 year old. If either of those "kids" wnat to come, as long as they RSVP, we're cool with it. On the other hand, if they are busy or don't wnat to come, no problem. (At 16 I could think of about three dozen better ways to spend a Friday night while my parents watched a cousin of theirs get married.)

    Family number two is my mother's boyfriend who has shared custody of two children. I have no idea if they are with their mother or not. If they are with him, they are invited, if they are with her they are not, because I'm not going to give any leverage to encourage brain melting custody dispute issues. They are 12 and 14, very well behaved. 

    Invite people by name and call to clarify if there are any write ins or confusions. Be understanding if not inviting children means the parents can't attend. The parents aren't being selfish, they're being parents and being responsible for their children. If you don't want kids to attend the ceremony, but would like to make it easier for their parents to attend, having babysitters on site for the duration of the ceremony and reception is not the worst plan ever, just make sure that they are CPR certified and have the tools to entertain and care for the children. 
  • We're providing babysitting for the kids of friends/family who are participating in the wedding.  This includes our officiant and photographer's kids (we're using family), the baker (family friend), and my niece and nephews who will be part of the wedding.  We felt this would be the best way to handle the kid question.  We will not have a kid friendly reception and are going to invite only Mr&Mrs and the like.
  • I addressed our invites to the parents only but so far they have all replied and added on their children. The kids are not only not in our count of guest but also we do not have a kids-friendly meal. Any thoughts on how i should address this? 
  • In Response to Re: No kids at the wedding:
    I addressed our invites to the parents only but so far they have all replied and added on their children. The kids are not only not in our count of guest but also we do not have a kids-friendly meal. Any thoughts on how i should address this? 
    Posted by awelch513
    and to all those who said putting Adults Only is tacky... it maybe but it would have saved me and my family a huge headache of having to call everyone who added their children.
  • I'm PRAYING that no one does this to me, that is so rude!!!
    Amyzen83
  • I'm PRAYING that no one does this to me, that is so rude!!!

    This thread is two years old. None of these posters are here any longer.

    @KnotPorscha, close please?

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario
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    I'm PRAYING that no one does this to me, that is so rude!!!
    Does what?  
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    Amyzen83
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