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Customs and Traditions

Ceremony stance!

Ok, traditionally, if you have both a matron of honor and maid of honor, who stands where during the ceremony?  I have always been told the maid of honor stands next to the bride, but my matron of horror...I mean honor, is telling me she stands next to me. 

Re: Ceremony stance!

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    It doesn't matter.  Either one can stand next to you.  If you really can't decide have them make the choice or flip a coin.

  • Well, the real problem is my matron of honor is feeling like she shouldn't have to "share" me or any duties.  I have know my maid of honor since elementary school and matron for about 12 years now.  Matron has changed into someone I don't even know anymore and at this point, I just want to get through all this (less than 2 months to go) and her negativity and be done with it all.  I should be having fun at this, but she has made it miserable for everyone involved....even having had several talks with her.  :-(
    ll6747
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Well, the real problem is my matron of honor is feeling like she shouldn't have to "share" me or any duties.  I have know my maid of honor since elementary school and matron for about 12 years now.  Matron has changed into someone I don't even know anymore and at this point, I just want to get through all this (less than 2 months to go) and her negativity and be done with it all.  I should be having fun at this, but she has made it miserable for everyone involved....even having had several talks with her.  :-(
    Tell your matron of honor that as far as "sharing" you goes, too bad.  You have a maid of honor as well and it's totally up to you who your attendants are.  As far as "duties," the only duties she has are the same as every other bridesmaid or MOH has: to obtain the specified dress, show up in it on time on the wedding day, and maintain good spirits, and she's dropping the ball on that last one.
    saseblon73biojess
  • My maid of honor stood closer to me because she and the best man are super close friends and wanted to walk out with each other.  A coin toss would have worked too. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    saseblon73
  • Maid of honor is who I want next to me.  She is the one that has taken care of me on everything through this entire thing and is just honored that I asked her to be in it (which is how I am when in a wedding).  Every "task" I have given to the matron she has dropped the ball on and only does the things SHE wants to do and has gone so far to invite her oldest son (that is in his 20's and has not lived in her home for years and that I do not really know) as well as his fiancée to our wedding (because they are getting married later this year and so they can attend a wedding)!  Sorry for ranting, but I really thought I would enjoy this and matron has made that near impossible for me.  I am just happy to be marrying the man of my dreams and would do it naked in the woods if it meant that was our only choice.  :-)
  • Maid of honor is who I want next to me.  She is the one that has taken care of me on everything through this entire thing and is just honored that I asked her to be in it (which is how I am when in a wedding).  Every "task" I have given to the matron she has dropped the ball on and only does the things SHE wants to do and has gone so far to invite her oldest son (that is in his 20's and has not lived in her home for years and that I do not really know) as well as his fiancée to our wedding (because they are getting married later this year and so they can attend a wedding)!  Sorry for ranting, but I really thought I would enjoy this and matron has made that near impossible for me.  I am just happy to be marrying the man of my dreams and would do it naked in the woods if it meant that was our only choice.  :-)
    Ok. Hold on here. 

    First off, you shouldn't be giving her tasks. I was serious above - her only job is to get the dress, show up on time in that dressed and groomed appropriately, smile for pictures, and be pleasant on the day. They don't have to do anything else. 

    As for her son, if you can't/don't want to invite him, just simply explain that your guest list and budget is maxed out and you cannot accommodate them. Apologize and say you hope she understands.

    And the way to not let her rain on the parade is to stop talking to her about wedding stuff. Let her get her dress, send her the day-of schedule, and then don't talk to her about much else wedding-related. If she asks about something, deflect it. "Oh I'm working on it, but anyway, how are your son and his fiancee? Have they set a date yet?"
    image
    doeydoMyNameIsNot
  • Why did you even ask the matron of honor to be in your wedding if you're going to call her nasty names like 'matron of horror?' I truly hope she doesn't see your post, because I know personally I would be devastated to see a supposed friend refer to me that way.
    image
    grumbledore[Deleted User]AddieCake
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    If you're just happy to be marrying the man of your dreams, then how is anything she is doing affecting you? Stop talking wedding with her and stop giving her tasks. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Why did you even ask the matron of honor to be in your wedding if you're going to call her nasty names like 'matron of horror?' I truly hope she doesn't see your post, because I know personally I would be devastated to see a supposed friend refer to me that way.

    Like my above post said, "She has changed into someone I don't know anymore".  Since all this has started, she is not the same person I have been friends with for 12 years. 

    As far as giving her "duties", she asks for thngs to help me with.  It has been small things, but no matter what I give her, it doesn't get done.  She is only doing things that she wants to do for the wedding and not even asking me if I want them in my wedding. 

    Like everyone else has said, I have stopped talking to her about the wedding stuff and since then, if one of the other BM's does anything for me, she catches wind of it and I get the backlash from it because she is the "Matron of Honor".  :-( 

    Only 47 days to do and like the Little Engine That Could....I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

    suzcain
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