Is it tacky to have multiple celebrations?

thesummersky · January 2014

My FI and I are in our 20's and are planning our wedding on a pretty tight budget. We also both happen to be fairly extroverted and have many people on our 'need-to-come' list, which is now well over 100. However, because many of our friends are younger and may not be able to afford the travel, they might not be able to come to the ceremony anyways.

Would it be tacky to have one celebration in our college town, one at the camp where we met each other and many of our friends, than a more intimate ceremony and reception with only family and close friends?

Thanks, knotties!

Jen4948 · January 2014

It would be tacky to have more than one ceremony, but you can have multiple celebrations, as long as only the one that actually follows the ceremony is called a "wedding reception" and everyone invited to the actual ceremony is invited to that particular celebration. Any other celebration should just be called a celebration, with no reenactments of your ceremony.

AddieCake · January 2014

I don't like the "reception tour" thing. If people can't come, they can't come. The bride and groom travelling all over to accommodate them is odd to me.

Maggie0829 · January 2014

I think that is overkill. Also I don't know how planning three parties where you have to host everyone is going to be doable on your tight budget.

Have your wedding. Invite who you want and can afford. If they can make it, great. If they can't, oh well.

Then next year have an anniversary party if you want.

Fran1985 · January 2014

People not being able to make it to your wedding is just part of life. If you have 3 parties, you have to invite all the guests to all 3. It has disaster potential. I think you have one and invite everyone to it. If there is a large group that can't make it (for instance, you grew up in CA and are having the wedding there, but you live in MA and have 50 friends in MA who decline the invite, it might be fun to host an afterparty in MA) But you have to invite all of the people that you invite to a wedding celebration so if you are worried about cost it doesn't make sense.

emmyg65 · January 2014

I'm with @AddieL73. I don't think it's "tacky," exactly. I just don't understand why you can't invite everyone to one event. If they're not able to come, then you can just visit them another time, but you don't have to continue celebrating your wedding.

thesummersky · January 2014

I was thinking going out to dinner with camp friends in May, having the ceremony/reception in southern California in October, then celebrating with our friends in our college town (since we'll be moving back there) after our wedding.

lyndausvi · January 2014

I also don't get the reception tour thing. I even got married out of town, but it never occurred to me have an organized celebration when we got back home a few weeks later. When we got back home we ran into friends and did some celebratory shots at the bar. Even though we didn't make it about us it didn't stop people from celebrating when they saw us for the first time since getting married.

Pepperally · January 2014

Going out with your camp friends in May who won't make it to the wedding in October is basically like an engagement celebration rather than part of your wedding itself. The one after you move back to your college town just sounds like a congratulatory dinner, not part of your wedding, either. So you are having one reception, not three, therefore it's not really tacky.

But you do have to decide if you are planning on paying for all of these things if you are on a tight budget...I wouldn't do anything other than maybe meeting up for drinks to celebrate pre- and post-wedding.

thesummersky · January 2014

Thanks for all of your input.

Yeah, reading it like that it really doesn't feel tacky. We're not asking or expecting any gifts and get-togethers don't have to be fancy or expensive, we just want to celebrate the people we love.

Also, to allow more people to come and to make the reception cheaper in general, we're thinking about holding everything earlier and having just light appetizers and desserts.

hellohkb · January 2014

Yeah, it doesn't seem tacky but it does seem like it could be a lot of added stress. What if you have your main wedding reception, then maybe go out to dinner or do something ultra casual as your "yay, we got married! we're so excited and want to hang out with you!" dinner/celebration in your college town, place where you met, etc.?

thesummersky · January 2014

That was the plan!

I just wasn't sure if that would be tacky.

thesummersky · January 2014

That was the plan!

I just wasn't sure if that would be tacky.

LondonLisa · January 2014

I just don't understand how you are expecting to make this cheaper. Are you paying for everyone's dinner and drinks at your camp party in May? Are you hosting everyone properly (paying for all food and drinks) at your celebration in your college town?

If you host 3 events, you have to pay for everyone. It is very rude to throw a "get together" in honour of yourself and expect people to pay for themselves.

Also, if these are wedding celebrations, everyone needs to be invited to the wedding as well. I would be very hurt if I was only invited to a "b-list" party of a friends wedding that I wasn't even invited to. I get that you want to celebrate with all of your friends, but also think about it from their perspective.

thesummersky · January 2014

Thanks for all of your input, everyone. We opted to go the light appetizers and desserts route for our reception and are doing everything between lunch and dinner to avoid mealtimes. This allows us to have all of our friends there.

Is it tacky to have multiple celebrations?

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