I have seen other threads about this and I am inclined to agree, but our bridal party and others seem to think differently.
FI and I got engaged in October, less than a week after our son was born. We knew throughout my pregnancy there were complications and DS would have to be on ventilation and have major surgery if he was going to make it. So from the moment he was born he was taken and immediately put on ventilation. He went into surgery at 11 days old and we were told it was possible he may not make it. This was a very difficult time for us, but the procedure went much better than expected, and he was breathing on his own and feeding orally within 2 weeks, and home at a month old. There have not been any complications.
Due to prioritizing our son's health we did not even begin to talk about wedding preparations until just before Christmas, and over the holidays we began to select our bridal party. At the time FI's best man implied planning with my MOH(i asked her to be part of wp about a week later) an engagement party for us. We heard nothing more about it until this week when my MOH told me that another one of my BM's told her not to even bother because it is "my parents' responsibility" to throw this party. I do realize that traditionally that is the convention, but I thought anyone who offers can throw this type of party. My family would love to assist with such a thing and absolutely contribute the majority of finances, but they do not know the custom because my mom is not involved and my stepmom is from Jamaica.
I told my MOH I didn't think stepmom was planning anything as far as I knew, but was sure she would love to cohost/be included in planning and provide financially if such an event was being thrown(my parents never want my friends to spend money, they are always happy to contribute-stepmom did the same for my baby shower). MOH immediately requested stepmom's email and phone number upon hearing this.
However, I personally think it may be too late to have an engagement party, regardless of other life events that have occurred. FI's best man got engaged in December (they are our son's godparents) and plans to get married three months after us, and their engagement party has been in the works for about a month now. The majority of our guests would be at both events, and I just think that's overkill. Plus I think it would be kind of tacky for us to have one after theirs since we were engaged months before. Should we just tell our bridal parties thank you for the offer but we are not interested? Not everyone has an engagement party, after all, and we certainly do not need one.