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RSVP Timing

katiec802katiec802 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi there!

I'm getting married in June, and have many guests flying in, with almost 90% coming from out of town. I sent STDs so everyone knows when it's happening. 

I'm wondering about timing and such...when should I send the invites and when should I have RSVPs back by? Is there a certain time that's considered rude or in poor taste?

Thanks!!
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Re: RSVP Timing

  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Invites should go out 6-8 weeks out.   

    RSVP  Take your wedding date - numbers due to the venue- 5/7 days to get a hold of stragglers.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Wedding invitations should go out about 6-8 weeks before the wedding.  You should ask for RSVP's to be returned anywhere from 2 to 4 weeks prior to your wedding date.  The due date for your RSVP's is often dictated by your venue and when they require a final head count.

    Allow yourself a little wiggle room because you are bound to have to follow up on a few missing RSVP's.  Wait 2 or 3 days past your RSVP due date before you follow up on the missing ones.  Many people will actually wait until the actual due date before sending them back to you.
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  • phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We're sending out invitations 8 weeks before the wedding and giving an RSVP date 4 weeks before. Our venue needs the numbers AND the seating chart 2 weeks out, so we're going to give 1 week for stragglers and then 1 week where we make the seating chart and call up the people who haven't RSVPed at all. That gives people 3-4 weeks to RSVP.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    @phira - As someone who has worked a lot of weddings I would love to know the reason for needing a seating chart out 2 weeks out?  Seriously one of the silliest venue requirements I've ever heard of.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    We didn't have to give our final numbers and seating chart until 3 days before our event.  Our venue was a restaurant.  

    We made our RSVP date 2 weeks out just to make sure.  I never understand why so many venues have such far out deadlines.  I mean, I do understand they need to know roughly how much food to order, but even a seating chart?

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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    I agree monkeyslp.    I even lived on an island where everything needed to be flown or shipped in.  Soft numbers were due 2 weeks out, hard numbers 3 days out.


    I think it's because venues know there is fall out.   They will increase a number, but not decrease.  So by making you confirmed weeks out they get extra income.   

    Had our venue had longer than 7-10 days for guarantee numbers I would have negotiated that in a heat beat.  ETA (it was 72 hours)

    Seating chart?  That can't think of any reason one would need that, strange.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Report Reply
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Our venue didn't need numbers until sometime the week before.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Our caterer needs our numbers 10 days out so they can order the food, alcohol, chairs (ceremony and reception), and all the china/flatware/glasses. They're extremely popular (they're the preferred caterer for several venues), so I'd guess they probably say they need everything 10 days in advance so they can follow up with you if you either forget or they have any questions.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Honestly, I might be remembering it incorrectly. They might just need the headcount and meal numbers, and it might be 1 week instead of 2. We don't have to meet with our venue and caterer for another 5 months so I'm super out of it.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
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  • katiec802katiec802 member
    First Comment
    Thanks! All super helpful! 
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