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When to pressure?

devinsberriesdevinsberries member
First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Party
So in the midst of my anxieties about the wedding:
My MOH and 2 other bridesmaids have not gone to get dresses yet.
My brother-in-law (he's walking me down the aisle), 2 groomsmen, and my 2 ring bearers have not been fitted for their suits yet. 
We are getting married June 7, so there's still a little bit of time. It's making my super anxious.

So, at what point do I start adding pressure (if they haven't done it yet) and not look like a Bridezilla?
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Re: When to pressure?

  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    devinsberries said:
    So in the midst of my anxieties about the wedding:
    My MOH and 2 other bridesmaids have not gone to get dresses yet.
    My brother-in-law (he's walking me down the aisle), 2 groomsmen, and my 2 ring bearers have not been fitted for their suits yet. 
    We are getting married June 7, so there's still a little bit of time. It's making my super anxious.

    So, at what point do I start adding pressure (if they haven't done it yet) and not look like a Bridezilla?
     
    ** stuck in the box**
     
    When is the absolute last day that they can order their dresses/ suits? If they dont order by then, they can either pay a rush fee or they have taken themselves out of the wedding.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Did you tell them the deadline for ordering the dresses/suits?  If not, just let them know that dresses and suits need to be ordered by X day and then leave it alone.

    June may seem really close to you but for your wedding party it is a whole 3 months away which is a lot of time depending on where you are going to get the dresses/suits.

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  • JMalettasJMalettas member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
     Agreed! Just let them know when they 'have' to have them in by! My BMs bought their dresses super early, as they'd chosen a dress that wasn't guaranteed to be available the year of our wedding. (Like picked them out a year before, and bought by Dec or whenever the new lines started). The guys though, I'm pretty sure had until 6 weeks before the wedding to have their measurements in. Something along the lines of that, which to me seemed close, but there were no problems. 

     Also, if you find out when the deadlines are, and you have your 'group' set up at a dress/suit store, you can always call that store like 2 days before to see if anyone still hasn't made it in. If you're 'that' worried they may have forgotten, shoot them a friendly txt, just like 'hey, just a friendly reminder that you need to have your measurements in by this Saturday, for anyone who hasn't gotten around to it yet.' Keep it casual, & leave it at that until the deadline. If they 'still' haven't gotten to it by then, then it's your choice as to what you want to do. 

     *J
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  • antotoantoto member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
     Men's warehouse told us to have the guys shoot for one month before the wedding... so don't stress about the guys.

    As for the dresses it depends on what you're doing.  Are they each buying their own dresses from wherever they want or are they all the same dress from a dress store?  If they are getting their own dresses then they can wait a while longer as well.
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  • devinsberriesdevinsberries member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    I asked all of them to get their dresses at Davids Bridal. They are supposed to be in the Horizon color, but they can get any style of dress they feel comfortable in.
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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    They are adults- give them the deadline that they have to order by to make sure they have it for the wedding. Maybe send ONE friendly reminder a week or two before the deadline just to remind them and then leave it! Ask them to email you once they have selected a dress so you can know what style they picked out so you don't have to keep asking them.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    devinsberries said:
    I asked all of them to get their dresses at Davids Bridal. They are supposed to be in the Horizon color, but they can get any style of dress they feel comfortable in.
    I wouldn't be too concerned since you are getting them from DB.  BM dresses from DB take no time to come in, despite what they may tell you.

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  • melbensomelbenso member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    My FI's groomsmen have to get measured by 1 month before our wedding (renting from Men's Warehouse).  In talking with the head of the alterations department at David's Bridal, my bridesmaids can order their dresses up to 8-10 weeks before the wedding and have them delivered in time to get them altered without having to pay a rush fee.  If they order 5+ weeks out, they can still have them altered in time, but will have to pay the rush fee.

    If you aren't sure, ask at your tux/suit rental and bridesmaid dress shop.  For the bridesmaids dresses, talk to alterations, not sales.  When we first went in to look at bridesmaids dresses, the sales lady told us we would have to order them 6 months before the wedding to make sure we had them on time.  They are trained to exaggerate those deadlines quite a bit. (If the bridesmaids haven't tried the dresses on already, when they go try the dress on, ask for the alterations department to come take a look.  They can give the bridesmaids a good assessment of whether they will need alterations.)

    I'm also a June wedding. Two of my bridesmaids and all of our groomsmen haven't ordered their clothes yet.  I'm leaving it to FI to remind his groomsmen, but will check in with him about it at the end of April in case I have to remind him to remind people.  If my bridesmaids haven't ordered by the end of March, I'm going to call each of them, check in on their status picking a dress (I picked a color, they pick the style), and remind them that they need to order soon if they don't want to pay rush alteration fees if alterations are necessary.  I figure a gentle reminder about a month before the deadline seems about right.
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  • delujm0delujm0 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I ordered a BM dres from DB online recently and received it in less than two weeks.  They tell you they need 3 months, but they really don't unless the specific style has been backordered or something.  If alterations will be necessary, make sure it's ordered at least a month in advance so that there's time to get that taken care of.
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I would check with David's Bridal and ask them the last possible date. They have something in their computer that tells them the last possible date you can order them to have them in time that they can guarantee you will get them. Let your girls know they need to order by that date. 

    I listened to everyone who said that David's Bridal dresses come in really fast and I waited to order them. When I went it turns out that the color I wanted has to be made to order and we aren't going to get the dresses until the week before my wedding. 

    I don't know about all tux places, but we went to Men's Wearhouse and they said as long as we paid a deposit and the guys had their measurements done two weeks before the wedding we would be fine. I would imagine most tux places are pretty similar since they really just have to send the right size to the right store.
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  • SpiderMonkey2010SpiderMonkey2010 member
    First Comment
    I just had a issue with one of my MOH's.  She waited until today she can't afford the dress, and my wedding is 2 months away (and she was the first person I asked and told about our date, which we decided on about 8 months ago).  She would have had to rush it, so it increased the price alot.  Your girls should be fine as long as they go in the next couple weeks.  My other girls' dresses came in quick, but your girls shouldn't wait to order incase they need to alter.
    As far as the guys go, they have time.  The place we are getting the guys stuff from only needs 2 weeks, so they can wait until the girls get their dresses. 
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