Ok

Maggie0829 · February 2014

osarto said:

So I sent the following article two to of my closet single girlfriends (who happen to also be my bridesmaids in my wedding last year) http://voices.yahoo.com/3-reasons-still-single-12545978.html?cat=41. And now they are pissed at me for trying to help them not remain single. Was I wrong to share the article with them and give them advice on why they are 35 and still single?

Please tell me that this isn't real. You seriously sent a random article written by a non-professional that is pretty much ridiculous and untrue to your 35 year old girlfriends to explain to them why they are still single? Yeah, I would be pissed at you too.

emmyg65 · February 2014

You can't be serious.

TKzilla · February 2014

That was the most sexist piece of shit writing I've read in a hot damn minute. No wonder they're mad at you.

QueerFemme · February 2014

I'm going to guess this isn't real, because no one can really be that clueless. But, in the off chance you are real, and this post is real. You should just try to find some new friends. Because you screwed these friendships up seriously.

osarto · February 2014

Well maybe I should have filled you guys in on some more background. These 2 girlfriends of mine are super critical of their boyfriends (when they are in a relationship) and they nag all the time. In a way it may be insightful to them or at least get them to look inward at their own character flaws and how they may contribute to the downfall of their relationships. I understand my delivery may not have been best but I do want the best for these friends and I want them to be happily married. Altough, the article is written by a person who is not a licensed profesional on relationships I thought the paragraph on women always nagging men and being negative all the time was right on.

Maggie0829 · February 2014

osarto said:

Well maybe I should have filled you guys in on some more background. These 2 girlfriends of mine are super critical of their boyfriends (when they are in a relationship) and they nag all the time. In a way it may be insightful to them or at least get them to look inward at their own character flaws and how they may contribute to the downfall of their relationships. I understand my delivery may not have been best but I do want the best for these friends and I want them to be happily married. Altough, the article is written by a person who is not a licensed profesional on relationships I thought the paragraph on women always nagging men and being negative all the time was right on.

I don't care about the background information. Basically you are telling your friends that they suck as girlfriends to their SOs and to take this article that has no professional backing as a way to fix themselves to make them better suited to be a wife.

And I am sorry but I can guarantee you that there are men out there that nag just as much if not more then some women. Basically the article, and in extension, you are telling your friends that they basically have to sit around, smile, nod and agree with their SOs if they ever have a chance in hell of getting married.

I understand you want your friends happy but to basically tell them that they suck and need to change is beyond ridiculous.

And you should never dole out advice to your friends about how they act unless they specifically ask you.

osarto · February 2014

Thanks Maggie and your right I dont give out advice to friends unless they ask...in this case they both asked me and other friends for advice. And you make an interesting point about the article basically saying that women have to sit around, smile, nod and agree with their Sos in order to get married...I didnt see the article making such an extreme declaration but your view is interesting.

And I dont think women just have to sit there and look pretty in order to have a chance to get married. I do believe that any person who is super critical, negative and nags is not a fun person to be in a relationship with.

Lastly, I dont think my friends suck.

AddieCake · February 2014

WTF

MuppetOverlord · February 2014

If someone sent this to me randomly, I would assume there were making a statement that I am alone because I too independent, a nag, or a whiner. I would think they are a bitch.

The time to give advice is when they are seeking it about a particular situation. If I thought their actions in the situation were inappropriate, I'd say so and why.

emmaaa · February 2014

osarto said:

Well maybe I should have filled you guys in on some more background. These 2 girlfriends of mine are super critical of their boyfriends (when they are in a relationship) and they nag all the time. In a way it may be insightful to them or at least get them to look inward at their own character flaws and how they may contribute to the downfall of their relationships. I understand my delivery may not have been best but I do want the best for these friends and I want them to be happily married. Altough, the article is written by a person who is not a licensed profesional on relationships I thought the paragraph on women always nagging men and being negative all the time was right on.

What if they don't want to be married?

Maggie0829 · February 2014

They asked for your advice, not a shitty article.

And how I described that article is exactly what I took away from it. Women shouldn't be independent, they shouldn't voice their opinion or concerns and they should never complain about anything, ever. Basically they should be seen but not heard.

LondonLisa · February 2014

What a misogynistic bunch of pseudo-science rubbish! That article is horrific. Do you even hear yourself? Being single isn't something that needs to be "fixed". If they are so negative, do you think being married will fix that? Maybe they have something going on in their life that is depressing them, or stressing them. Did you not think to talk to them about this instead of the 1950s view of "now that you have a Husband, don't have any problems." My word, how myopic! This would be very close to a friendship ender in my book. The fact that they both reacted in this way shows that you were a grade-a jerk. Get over there and apologise! Don't say "I was just trying to help" or any of those politician's apology non-apology of "I'm sorry if you were offended...." You acted like a serious jerk, and a rubbish friend. You need to figure out how to make it up to them bc if you did that to me, I would be very close to writing you off!

QueerFemme · February 2014

osarto said:

Well maybe I should have filled you guys in on some more background. These 2 girlfriends of mine are super critical of their boyfriends (when they are in a relationship) and they nag all the time. In a way it may be insightful to them or at least get them to look inward at their own character flaws and how they may contribute to the downfall of their relationships. I understand my delivery may not have been best but I do want the best for these friends and I want them to be happily married. Altough, the article is written by a person who is not a licensed profesional on relationships I thought the paragraph on women always nagging men and being negative all the time was right on.

What you want for them is really irrelevant. If they decide, ON THEIR OWN, to change the way they interact with their partners they can certainly handle that on their own. IF they come to you for advice or help, then you are free to give them your opinion.

Maybe they don't WANT to be married. Maybe they aren't interested in living the life you are living. That article is full of sexist bullshit. If one of my friends sent that to me, I'd seriously re-examine what I ever saw in them as a friend.

osarto · February 2014

I'm glad that we have a forum where we can discuss our opinions in a open and respectful fashion.

cupcait927 · February 2014

Did you ever stop and think that maybe, just MAYBE, they are happy being single? That maybe they enjoy their lives just as they are now and don't need a man? You had no right sending that article to your friends. I'd be pissed at you too. FI loves that I am independent because his last ex couldn't find her way out of a wet paper bag and he was always supporting her financially. And he'll be the first to tell you that while I may nag him, he bitches more than any woman I know and you can't tell me that I'm not supposed to find that irritating. But guess what - we still accept each other for who we are and when we have an issue with the other's behavior, we speak up. This article was the biggest load of crap I've read in a long time and if some man expected me to act that way, I'd rather be single.

QueerFemme · February 2014

osarto said:

I'm glad that we have a forum where we can discuss our opinions in a open and respectful fashion.

Everyone is being very respectful. But, we can all sure understand why your BMS are pissed at you.

LondonLisa · February 2014

osarto said:

I'm glad that we have a forum where we can discuss our opinions in a open and respectful fashion.

When everyone on this forum (who have no stake or agenda in your wedding or your life for that matter) AND the two close friends you sent this to, agree that this was a jerk move and offensive, maybe it is time to look in the mirror and reevaluate your behaviour.

emmyg65 · February 2014

With all due respect, that article is really gross and sexist, and you were out of line sending it to your friends. Marriage is not the be all and end all of human relationships, some brass ring to be attained by a certain age or else you're a failure. And what you want for them is irrelevant. You should love your friends for who they are.

KeptInStitches · February 2014

If I were your friend and you had sent me that article, it would be friends off. No apologies would be good enough.

Jen4948 · February 2014

That article is sexist crap, and if you sent that to me, our friendship would be over.

It's not up to you to decide I need not to be single, and those reasons are total bullshit.

Grabows14 · February 2014

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

Sooooo, you didn't get enough drama with this bullshit on WW when you posted it there, so you posted it here, too? Uhm, OK, whatevs. Crazypants.

jessiray · February 2014

OP also has a post over in I think it's either Snarky Brides or Wedding Woes. Get a life!

thejucheidea · February 2014

She even copied and pasted her own responses...

sarahufl · February 2014

Posted at least twice on TK!

Ok

Re: Ok

Choose Another Board

Search Boards