Wedding Invitations & Paper

How should I invite child of separated parents with shared custody?

I have two friends, I'll call them Jane and Jon, and they have a daughter, we'll call Sara.

We're still friends with both Jane and Jon, but they are no longer friendly with one another (loooong backstory, don't ask). Jane is one of my bridesmaids, but we didn't include Jon in the wedding. Sara is a flower girl.

I try to keep my nose out of their personal custody issues because it's a very sore subject, but as far as I'm aware, they have 50-50 shared custody.

Should I include Sara only on Jane's invitation since she's a member of the wedding party and they should be arriving together the day of the wedding anyway? Or just put her on both invitations? Although that may cause confusion for Jon regarding who's bringing her.... I opted to do the online RSVP through my Knot wedding website, so I was leaning towards just listing her on both anyway and just informing him that she's a flower girl and should probably just come early on the day-of with her mother.

Re: How should I invite child of separated parents with shared custody?

  • Yes, I would go with Jane since she is in the WP.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Where does Sara spend most of her time? Where is her primary residence? I know you said it was 50/ 50 custody, but its rarely that even.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Which parent are you primarily friends with?

    I'm assuming you know the daughter because you're friends with her father or mother. Since it seems that you're closer to her mother, I'd invite the little one with her mom.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
  • Since Mom is a BM and daughter is a FG I would invite her with the Mom. If she needs to be there early you aren't going to want her dad bringing her while you guys are getting ready are you? 
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  • If you have a relationship with Jane but not Jon, or a closer relationship with Jane than with Jon, include her daughter with Jane's invitation.


  • Who is the daughter going to sit with at the reception? I'm assuming you're not putting Jon and Jane at the same table; and I would also assume that Sara would sit with Jane, since they're both in the bridal party.  I agree with the other posters, it makes the most sense to put Sara on Jane's invitation.
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