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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Unity candle and sand ceremony?

I'm getting married at the end of May and I definitely want to do the unity candle during the ceremony.  I was also thinking of doing the sand ceremony, but would two things be too much? 

My mom had the idea of doing the sand ceremony at the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. 

This is my first post here!  I just wanted to get some feedback on my idea.  Thanks and congratulations to all the happy couples!  :)

Melissa

Re: Unity candle and sand ceremony?

  • I'm not a huge fan of the sand in general, and do think that two would be too much.  

    If you really want to do both, and you're seeing each other/doing pictures before the ceremony, would you want to do the sand with just the two of you?
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I would pick one.  
    image
    themuffinman16PrettyGirlLost
  • I do not see any reason why you could not do the sand ceremony during the rehearsal dinner if you would still like to do it. I feel as though the sand ceremony is a nice keepsake and I really like the idea of doing it which is why im doing one during my destination wedding.
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  • I think doing it at the rehearsal dinner would be nice- if not, I see nothing wrong with doing both unity ceremonies during the actual wedding- it's your day- do what you want : )
    Knottie37373131
  • sarahs616 said:
    I think doing it at the rehearsal dinner would be nice- if not, I see nothing wrong with doing both unity ceremonies during the actual wedding- it's your day- do what you want : )
    No. That expression is the pathetic excuse people proffer for wanting to break etiquette and be rude. 

    Doing either/both the sand/unity candle ceremony doesn't violate any etiquette rules (though it does beg the question of why a separate 'unity' ceremony is necessary -- isn't the WEDDING CEREMONY unity enough??), but I would do one or the other, not both, because no one really wants to sit through two of them.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    CheleLynmrsfinniPrettyGirlLost
  • I would think the sand and unity candle would be too similar. We did the unity candle and the rose ceremony. 
  • hutchsl said:
    I would think the sand and unity candle would be too similar. We did the unity candle and the rose ceremony. 
    The rose ceremony makes me think of the Bachelor. I hope your FI did not stand at the altar and ask if you accept the rose! :)
    mimiphin
  • KRD2014KRD2014 member
    10 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2014

    my fiance has asked me what other options we might have ... we're not settled on either the unity candle or the sand. has anyone heard of other non-offensive, ettiquette approved practices symbolizing 'unity' ? also, we're non-religious, so we would not want to accidentally use a particular religion's tradition unknowingly. we're up for suggestions. :)

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    KRD2014 said:

    my fiance has asked me what other options we might have ... we're not settled on either the unity candle or the sand. has anyone heard of other non-offensive, ettiquette approved practices symbolizing 'unity' ? also, we're non-religious, so we would not want to accidentally use a particular religion's tradition unknowingly. we're up for suggestions. :)

    The wedding ceremony itself is a "unity" ceremony.  Why do you need more than that to make you "unified" ?
    PrettyGirlLost
  • Jen4948 said:
    KRD2014 said:

    my fiance has asked me what other options we might have ... we're not settled on either the unity candle or the sand. has anyone heard of other non-offensive, ettiquette approved practices symbolizing 'unity' ? also, we're non-religious, so we would not want to accidentally use a particular religion's tradition unknowingly. we're up for suggestions. :)

    The wedding ceremony itself is a "unity" ceremony.  Why do you need more than that to make you "unified" ?
    we don't necessarily need something more. just the same as some do the sand, we like the idea of something symbolic that we can have afterwards to keep at home, other than our rings and photos.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    KRD2014 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    KRD2014 said:

    my fiance has asked me what other options we might have ... we're not settled on either the unity candle or the sand. has anyone heard of other non-offensive, ettiquette approved practices symbolizing 'unity' ? also, we're non-religious, so we would not want to accidentally use a particular religion's tradition unknowingly. we're up for suggestions. :)

    The wedding ceremony itself is a "unity" ceremony.  Why do you need more than that to make you "unified" ?
    we don't necessarily need something more. just the same as some do the sand, we like the idea of something symbolic that we can have afterwards to keep at home, other than our rings and photos.
    I still don't get why the rings and photos, your marriage license, and some form of guest book or signature collection, aren't enough to make you feel "unified" as a couple.  I wouldn't be going for more than that myself, and all the extra, it seems to me, just seems like "filler."  They don't really add anything to the wedding ceremony that's not already there.
  • KRD2014KRD2014 member
    10 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    thank you for your input. i understand that you do not care to add anything extra such as this to your wedding. couples' visions differ greatly; nothing wrong with that. our interest in adding the extra symbolic feature, similar to the sand option that seems acceptable to most people, is an idea that my fiance had and i'm here trying to gain suggestions on what other variations of that have people seen done. it IS filler, and it's just for fun. we will feel plenty unified by the ceremony alone, with or without rings even. is it ok for us to have fun at our wedding? :)
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    KRD2014 said:
    thank you for your input. i understand that you do not care to add anything extra such as this to your wedding. couples' visions differ greatly; nothing wrong with that. our interest in adding the extra symbolic feature, similar to the sand option that seems acceptable to most people, is an idea that my fiance had and i'm here trying to gain suggestions on what other variations of that have people seen done. it IS filler, and it's just for fun. we will feel plenty unified by the ceremony alone, with or without rings even. is it ok for us to have fun at our wedding? :)
    I'm not criticizing, I just don't really understand it is all.  I myself might just add music or readings that have meaning for me and the groom.  Certainly if you want to do a unity candle or sand ceremony, more power to you-I'm just not clear on what the extra symbolism of these things adds that isn't part of the ceremony itself.
  • I would pick one.

    Friends of ours did a rose ceremony, that included their parents. It was nice.

    We didn't do any additional unity ceremonies in ours. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • KRD2014 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    KRD2014 said:

    my fiance has asked me what other options we might have ... we're not settled on either the unity candle or the sand. has anyone heard of other non-offensive, ettiquette approved practices symbolizing 'unity' ? also, we're non-religious, so we would not want to accidentally use a particular religion's tradition unknowingly. we're up for suggestions. :)

    The wedding ceremony itself is a "unity" ceremony.  Why do you need more than that to make you "unified" ?
    we don't necessarily need something more. just the same as some do the sand, we like the idea of something symbolic that we can have afterwards to keep at home, other than our rings and photos.
    There's a type of ceremony where you have love letters for each other and put them in a box.  The officiant explains that the box is to be opened on [x] anniversary or whenever you are having troubles to remind each other why you love each other.   
    KRD2014CrazyCatBride
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Am I the only one who wouldnt be thrilled with sand around my food at the rehearsal dinner?

    Just pick one.

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    PrettyGirlLostHisGirlFriday13
  • What is the rose ceremony?

  • Jen4948 said:
    KRD2014 said:
    Jen4948 said:
    KRD2014 said:

    my fiance has asked me what other options we might have ... we're not settled on either the unity candle or the sand. has anyone heard of other non-offensive, ettiquette approved practices symbolizing 'unity' ? also, we're non-religious, so we would not want to accidentally use a particular religion's tradition unknowingly. we're up for suggestions. :)

    The wedding ceremony itself is a "unity" ceremony.  Why do you need more than that to make you "unified" ?
    we don't necessarily need something more. just the same as some do the sand, we like the idea of something symbolic that we can have afterwards to keep at home, other than our rings and photos.
    I still don't get why the rings and photos, your marriage license, and some form of guest book or signature collection, aren't enough to make you feel "unified" as a couple.  I wouldn't be going for more than that myself, and all the extra, it seems to me, just seems like "filler."  They don't really add anything to the wedding ceremony that's not already there.
    That's exactly why we did the unity candle.  I was trying to stretch out the ceremony a little so that we wouldn't have a gap between the ceremony and reception starting.  We also did a couple of readings.  Which made our ceremony 20-25 minutes tops.  Throw in a receiving line and while some people did get to the reception site "early" the doors were open and everything was ready for them.   
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  • A rose ceremony is when the groom give the MOB a rose and the bride gives MOG a rose. My parents had one and included the grandmothers too.
  • KRD2014 said:

    my fiance has asked me what other options we might have ... we're not settled on either the unity candle or the sand. has anyone heard of other non-offensive, ettiquette approved practices symbolizing 'unity' ? also, we're non-religious, so we would not want to accidentally use a particular religion's tradition unknowingly. we're up for suggestions. :)

    My fiance and I are doing a unity heart during our ceremony.  Each of us puts a piece of the heart (the outline and the interior pretty part) onto the base and then together we place a pin in to hold them together.  You could look into that if you want a keepsake like the sand. :)
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