Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

Guests that didn't pay to stay?

My wedding was kind of different in that people had agreed early on that to stay in the riverhouse they would pay me $100 (that included 2 nights of staying in this mansion on the river I rented for all the guests to stay in, 5 meals other than the one at the wedding, free unlimited drinks for all that time, a tube to use on the river and a shuttle there and back, etc).  Everyone has paid except a married couple (the wife was the person who months ago most told me that of course it was ok to charge people that much because otherwise they'd have to stay at a hotel, etc). 

Can I ask if she paid me?  It's different than asking if somebody gave me a gift becasue this was an agreed upon thing before the wedding.  What do y'all think?  Thanks.

Re: Guests that didn't pay to stay?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_guests-didnt-pay-stay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:43bb93da-9791-4a2f-bff7-155b4e853ca1Post:924bc0e1-ec6a-4dd0-aeeb-4216ec654292">Guests that didn't pay to stay?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding was kind of different in that people had agreed early on that to stay in the riverhouse they would pay me $100 (that included 2 nights of staying in this mansion on the river I rented for all the guests to stay in, 5 meals other than the one at the wedding, free unlimited drinks for all that time, a tube to use on the river and a shuttle there and back, etc).  Everyone has paid except a married couple (the wife was the person who months ago most told me that of course it was ok to charge people that much because otherwise they'd have to stay at a hotel, etc).  Can I ask if she paid me?  It's different than asking if somebody gave me a gift becasue this was an agreed upon thing before the wedding.  What do y'all think?  Thanks.
    Posted by smeevil[/QUOTE]
    I think its CRAZY F'd up to ask a guest to pay for any part of your celebration, regardless of what it includes.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_guests-didnt-pay-stay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:43bb93da-9791-4a2f-bff7-155b4e853ca1Post:f82ad458-0415-4398-a2ec-43111d223638">Re: Guests that didn't pay to stay?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Guests that didn't pay to stay? :<strong> I think its CRAZY F'd up to ask a guest to pay for any part of your celebration, regardless of what it includes.</strong>
    Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

    <div>I disagree. I think that accomodations don't have to be hosted. It may have been better to have someone other than the B&G in charge of who stays where and who pays what, but as long as the guests had an option of where they wanted to stay, who cares who they pay to stay with. It is quite clear that she hosted the wedding celebration. </div><div>The only way this was different than negotiating a lower rate for them to stay elsewhere is that the B&G were in charge of the rental. </div><div>
    </div><div>OP, you should have had someone else in charge of all that, but now I think it would be a bit tacky to ask for it after its already over. </div>
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_guests-didnt-pay-stay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:43bb93da-9791-4a2f-bff7-155b4e853ca1Post:f82ad458-0415-4398-a2ec-43111d223638">Re: Guests that didn't pay to stay?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Guests that didn't pay to stay? : I think its CRAZY F'd up to ask a guest to pay for any part of your celebration, regardless of what it includes.
    Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

    Wouldn't it be the same as out-of-town guests paying to stay in a hotel?? Except in this case it sounds like the bride prepaid for the above things and the guests agreed to just pay her instead of paying directly to the place. 

    Anyway, I 'd just mention that you're wrapping things up and were wondering if she's able to send you the money needed for the accomodations. She probably just overlooked it!
  • It can't hurt to ask.. just make sure FI didn't get it first.

    A lot of people didn't contribute to my sister's bach party which included all day drinking and food and an at home wine tasting (then bars of course).  Some of the people were there all day and intended to pay.  They forgot and I was afraid to ask.

    I regret not asking.
  • Yeah I just prepaid the whole place and guests didn't have to stay at the riverhouse.  They could have stayed at any of the hotels in the area, and that was an option.  This couple (like many of my friends) was from Lubbock, and so they would have had to stay somewhere to come.  It was very clear on the wedding website where people RSVP'ed that they were RSVPing to stay in the riverhouse and pay me for their lodging. 

    Thanks for the advice everyone.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_guests-didnt-pay-stay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:43bb93da-9791-4a2f-bff7-155b4e853ca1Post:9dccd167-2a4a-4948-8d1f-0bb0cc5adf6a">Re: Guests that didn't pay to stay?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah I just prepaid the whole place and guests didn't have to stay at the riverhouse.  They could have stayed at any of the hotels in the area, and that was an option.  This couple (like many of my friends) was from Lubbock, and so they would have had to stay somewhere to come.  It was very clear on the wedding website where people RSVP'ed that they were RSVPing to stay in the riverhouse and pay me for their lodging.  Thanks for the advice everyone.
    Posted by smeevil[/QUOTE]
    If they stay at a hotel do they still get all the perks of staying in the riverhouse?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_guests-didnt-pay-stay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:43bb93da-9791-4a2f-bff7-155b4e853ca1Post:a62e0fb4-cdaf-40cc-a158-ea1d05b02e69">Re: Guests that didn't pay to stay?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guests that didn't pay to stay? <strong>: Wouldn't it be the same as out-of-town guests paying to stay in a hotel??</strong> Except in this case it sounds like the bride prepaid for the above things and the guests agreed to just pay her instead of paying directly to the place.  Anyway, I 'd just mention that you're wrapping things up and were wondering if she's able to send you the money needed for the accomodations. She probably just overlooked it!
    Posted by LindsyLove[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, except staying at a hotel is a business transaction between the guest and the hotel, which doesn't involve the bride and groom at all. This situation is AWKWARD all around, but hey, it's too late for that.

    OP, if you know she didn't pay you, then she knows she didn't pay you. You can ask if you're unsure. Otherwise, ask her when she plans on sending you a check because you're reconciling your wedding expenses now.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
  • Hey sorry Smee for the f'd up, I was a bit distracted when I typed and didn't think about it :D

    My thought process was- you included all these events included in your wedding, 5 meals, tubing etc, and then mentioned that you charged them $100 each. That is wrong, IMO. If you wanted your guests to stay there, then you should have covered all the costs. If they had the option of staying in other hotels and it still included the meals and so on, then offering them the 100 for the rooms for 2 nights is ok, but you should have had someone else deal with the money. As it is now, you should probably still ask someone else to collect. Are you sure she stayed in the place for the 2 nights?
  • I would definitely ask her for the money.
  • How come these people couldn't pay the hotel directly?  Wouldn't that make more sense?  Is there anyway the hotel could contact this individual and let them know there is an outstanding balance?  You shouldn't have to pay for them or deal with their money at all.  The hotel should.  You are just passing on the discount.  

    If your wedding is already over and you already paid for them, I'd just let it go then.  At least it was only one couple that did not pay you back.  Did they at least get you a gift?  
  • It wasn't the best idea for guests to have to pay you directly for accomodations but what's done is done.

    I would leave it alone.  It's $100.  Or have your MOM "remind" her.  I wouldn't get directly involved.
    TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
    imageimageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

    My Blog

  • I think it depends on the relationship you have with her now and the relationship you want in the future. Is $100 worth it to have her talk about you or not talk to you anymore? However, if it was me . . I would ask. Maybe she just forgot to pay or thought that she did.
  • I personally wouldn't - it's just one of those things that tends to happen when that type of situation is involved. I'm actually surprised they are the only ones who didn't pay you! Did they give you a gift? They might have spent more than intended, or had a bad experience?

    I know they should have paid you regardless, I'm just trying to think of reasons (other than "forgetting" :) that would have perhaps caused them to intentially forget...
    image
  • What river>???

    I think its only $100 its probably not really worth it if she is the only one. Its on her conscience so you shouldnt worry.  If it was mulitple people then yes I would ask. I think that was cool to offer that up for them. Sounds like a good deal. and $100 for all that is way cheaper than a hotel.




    Photobucket We're Married!!!!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_guests-didnt-pay-stay?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:43bb93da-9791-4a2f-bff7-155b4e853ca1Post:62b22d8f-6fa6-4859-900d-060a203db527">Re: Guests that didn't pay to stay?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I personally wouldn't - it's just one of those things that tends to happen when that type of situation is involved.<strong> I'm actually surprised they are the only ones who didn't pay you!</strong> Did they give you a gift? They might have spent more than intended, or had a bad experience? I know they should have paid you regardless, I'm just trying to think of reasons (other than "forgetting" :) that would have perhaps caused them to intentially forget...
    Posted by hollybee92[/QUOTE]

    Me too!
    image
    (Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
    (Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards