Just engaged!

Re: Just engaged!

• KeptInStitches member

  

  March 2014

  Congratulations! I'd start by talking with your FI about what you two want in your wedding. If you're able to pay for it, it gives you some more power, plus having these conversations allows the two of you to present a united front. Then start trying to set a budget.

  

  Report0 Reply
• JennyColada member

  

  March 2014

  Me and my mom were the same way!
  
  My mom got married in Vegas with 4 people in attendance - her own parents weren't even there!
  
  I am getting married in Napa with a guest list of 8.
  
  Big or lavish weddings just never interested us. Do what YOU (and your new fiancé!) want. It's not your mom's wedding. If you don't want something big then have something small. But big weddings can be fun too! Don't feel pressured into anything.

  Report0 Reply
• Dignity100 member

  

  March 2014

  I was never one that envisioned my wedding.  I always was thinking more of the rustic/farm type of setting if I had a wedding.  I don't like to be the center of attention, neither does FI - my mom doesn't like large crowds.  FI and I sat down and decided it was important for us to have immediate family only (and in some cases their +1's).  If we did a local wedding - FI's mom wouldn't let us get away with that - she would want aunts/uncles/cousins and then she would have her own guest list and it would end up being over 100 people (I was getting super stressed out just thinking about it knowing that FI and I are paying for it).  We decided on a destination wedding - family only.
  
  So that being said - where to start:
  Figure out what your budget is and who will be paying.
  Figure out a tentative guest list
  Figure out your wedding style (what type of location/venue do you want - church, rustic, vineyard, country club, upscale - or even if you get married and then just have a small dinner at a favorite restaurant instead of a 'typical' reception)
  
  If you have questions, the ladies on the boards are extremely helpful.  Many of us have been through the same thing and have had the same questions!
  

  
  
  
  

  Report1 Reply
• SBmini member

  

  March 2014

  First off, enjoy being engaged. You don't have to start planning right out of the gate. Enjoy the excitement, take people's comments and store them away. Then you can start figuring out what you want. Dignity's post is spot on. Figure out the finances and the guest list. I originally wanted a very small, destination wedding, but the guest list made us change plans. Then, you can determine if you'll go court house, small celebration or all out big wedding. 

  
  

  Remember though- at the end of the day it is YOUR wedding! You and your fiance are the one who makes the calls! Even if your parents are paying, you get the final say. Of course, you'll want to include them however you can otherwise they can get upset (I speak from experience here) but the final say is YOURS! If you decide to go court house, or do a slight compromise for a small ceremony and reception, just remind those who may try to push you into having a big wedding that while you respect their opinions, it is not what you want and you want to make sure that the wedding is one that speaks to you and your fiance's personalities. 

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• KryssiW member

  

  March 2014

  Thank you so much for all of your advice!  Right after we got engaged, my first question was when he thought he'd like to do it.  He knows I'm not really in a huge rush, and said he'd like it to take place within the next three years.  I feel very comfortable with two years, and I think this leaves us plenty of time to figure out details.  I have a huge family and always knew that if there was going to be a wedding, and "small" wedding would be out of the question.  His family is small, but he has a ton of friends, and has been a best man at least five times already.  Funding will likely consist of some joint contributions between us and my parents, so I will definitely have to put my foot down on a lot of the things that make me squirm the most.  I think I can eventually come around to having a wedding, but right now it just makes me extremely anxious.

  
  

  On the bright side, I've started looking at wedding dresses, and it makes me want to scream!  They're all so pretty!

  Report0 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  March 2014

  PPs have the starting advice covered, so I will just say congrats and happy planning!

  
  

  
  

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report0 Reply