I am new to The Knot and really loving everything it has to offer, but for this one, I'm curious what all of you suggest.
My fiancee and I just got engaged a month ago, but have been together and discussing our wedding for the last 6 years, so I have been able to accomplish a LOT in just one month. The impending expenses are beginning to worry me a lot but my guy is a "we'll deal with it when we have to pay for it" kind of guy, which does help balance me out. I am an only child and my father is ecstatic for he and my mother to help us out as much as they can, promising to pay for our reception, my dress and who knows what else because it's his baby's big day. My fiance's mother, however, has so far refused to help pay for anything because my fiance is 33 and I am 29 and because we are older, we should be able to pay for everything ourselves. While the only thing we asked for help with is the rehearsal dinner, she said that is my future groom's responsibility. She is very excited for us to be getting married, but is acting like a spectator rather than the mother of the groom. Contradictory, my future sister-in-law got married in February and their mother was insulted when she wasn't able to help pay for anything so I don't understand. Despite all of this, she wants to invite about 45 of her relatives to the wedding, meaning my parents would be paying for it and that bothers me a little bit.
While my fiance and I are both independent people who do not like to accept gifts and handouts from people, I feel like with this big of an event in our lives it is not fair for my parents to be handling the brunt of the expenses, yet I cannot stop them from paying for what they want to pay for. I feel that my parents may end up incurring many more costs than they may initially anticipate when they find out my fiance's parents, at least at this point, don't intend to chip in anything. While the wedding is still a year away, all of this makes me cringe.