Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
New Discussion

Avoiding "giving away"

netskyblue2netskyblue2 member
5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
What's something our officiant could say in place of the "who gives this woman..."?  I'd still like to have my parents rise and say "we do" or my dad say "her mother & I do" but avoid the notion of being given.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Avoiding "giving away"

  • RedJacks25RedJacks25 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Why do you want them to say it if you don't want them to do it?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • netskyblue2netskyblue2 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I want some acknowledgement that they are my parents, they are in support of the marriage, and they are choosing to participate in our marriage ceremony without the connotations of property exchange.
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You could do something where both sets of parents stand up and say "we do" or something of that nature and word it as "who presents this woman and this man to be joined together in marriage." This way it is more of a "we support this marriage" rather then a "here I give you my daughter."

    I found this that seems to show family support and unity but removes the "giving away" part.
    This couple, ____ and _____, will need your love and support in the future, not only on this special day. Do you now offer your support and best wishes for this couple, wishing them the best of lives together? [If so, please answer "We do"]

    Report Reply
  • netskyblue2netskyblue2 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    @Maggie0829 Thank you, I love that!
    Report Reply
  • 00kim0000kim00 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    A friend of mine just got married a couple of weeks ago, and her officiant said something like "who supports X in this marriage?" and her father answered "her father and mother do"
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Maybe substitute the word "presents" for "gives" ?
    Report Reply
  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    We did a parent's blessing

    Parents Blessing

    “As our sons and daughters find partners and find homes for the next generation, each family is enriched and enlarged. Would the parents of the bride and groom please come forward?

    This occasion is a special celebration for you, the parents who have brought these children into the world, and nurtured them into adulthood. Today you are witnessing another stage in the lives of your son and daughter. Your continuing support and encouragement will be needed as Bubblegum and MrBubblegum unite in marriage. Will you who have loved and nurtured these two, try with the greatest love and wisdom you have, to support this new couple and help in every way?”



    image


    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    00kim00 said:
    A friend of mine just got married a couple of weeks ago, and her officiant said something like "who supports X in this marriage?" and her father answered "her father and mother do"

    We are doing this.  We plan to have officiant say "Who supports this marriage?", then have all 4 parents, mine and FI's, stand up and say "We do".

    image 

    Report Reply
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    @bubblegum1309 my daughter and sil used a similar blessing at their wedding ceremony. Both sets of parents were included in the blessing. It was lovely.
                       
    Report Reply
  • ZiggyZosZiggyZos member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Maggie0829 said:
    You could do something where both sets of parents stand up and say "we do" or something of that nature and word it as "who presents this woman and this man to be joined together in marriage." This way it is more of a "we support this marriage" rather then a "here I give you my daughter."

    I found this that seems to show family support and unity but removes the "giving away" part.
    This couple, ____ and _____, will need your love and support in the future, not only on this special day. Do you now offer your support and best wishes for this couple, wishing them the best of lives together? [If so, please answer "We do"]
    This isn't the exact wording we had, but it was along those same lines. Our reverend asked each set of parents if they offer support and best wishes for their child as we enter our new life as husband and wife.

    I liked that it acknowledged the significance of our families/parents in our lives while still keeping with the idea of the relationship being our own independent decision. 
    Report Reply
  • Gina0887Gina0887 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Maggie0829 said:
    You could do something where both sets of parents stand up and say "we do" or something of that nature and word it as "who presents this woman and this man to be joined together in marriage." This way it is more of a "we support this marriage" rather then a "here I give you my daughter."

    I found this that seems to show family support and unity but removes the "giving away" part.
    This couple, ____ and _____, will need your love and support in the future, not only on this special day. Do you now offer your support and best wishes for this couple, wishing them the best of lives together? [If so, please answer "We do"]
    LOVE THIS!!!!
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards