NOT IMPRESSED *Slight Update*

Re: NOT IMPRESSED *Slight Update*

• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  March 2014

  kkitkat79 said:

  HisGirlFriday13 said:

  RWS2011 said:

  
  

  
  

  This is off the charts rude.  And I would be all:

  
  

  
  

  
  

  But @HisGirlFriday13, you wound me a little.  I know you were just talking about baiting them, but we actually are fairly poor.  That will not stop us from having a lovely ceremony and hosting our guests properly on our wedding day.  What is has meant is making difficult choices about who is really important for us to be there, and planning within our means.  Pinkcow's cousin skipped those crucial steps, and ended up really offending people with unconscionable behavior! 

  
  

  *stuck in the effing box*

  
  

  But you're having a fully hosted, etiquette-proper wedding. And I don't think these people are actually poor, I think they're rude, which is the difference.

  
  

  If you attend a properly hosted wedding that's dry because the B/G can't afford alcohol, and you say something about that, you're a fucking asshole prick. Because they hosted you to their abilities, and you need to be a gracious guest.

  
  

  If you attend an improperly hosted wedding in which the B/G have prioritised other things over their guests, such as in @pinkcow13's example, I have no problem 'pretending' to think they're poor and calling them out on it -- because it's not that they're poor, it's that they planned very badly, and they deserve to be called out on that.

  
  

  DH and I had a very small budget, and we made it work. I would never, ever, EVER criticise someone for hosting what they can afford if they're poor or on a budget. But when you pull the stunt that these people pulled, I will publicly shame you. sorrynotsorry.

  
  

  
  I think the problem is that you propose to shame them by calling them poor. There is no shame in being poor.

  There is no shame in being poor. There is shame in being rude. 

  
  

  Perhaps I should have used the expression 'white trash tacky' instead. That would apparently incite less misunderstanding.

  
  

  There is never, ever, EVER any shame in being poor. There is shame in being rude. If they were truly poor, that would be one thing. But they're not. They're rude. And I have no trouble shaming rude people. 

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

  Report4 Reply
• kkitkat79 member

  

  March 2014

  HisGirlFriday13 said:

  I second writing something passive-aggressive, like, 'Oh, we were so sorry we missed it. We got the invitation that said your ceremony was at 6. We didn't get the message that you'd planned so badly and are so poor you had to move the wedding up by five hours and uninvite most of the guests. It must really suck to be poor.' Because (a) I am slightly drunk and (b) that will probably bait them into saying, 'We're not poor!' and then you can come back with, 'Oh, so you're just rude.' Also, your father's aunt would be your great-aunt. Just FYI.

  
  @HisGirlFriday13, I don't mean to call you out, I really don't. I mostly lurk here and I enjoy your posts. And I do understand what you are trying to do here, but I think you are wrong on the choice of words in this one. As you yourself said, there is no shame in being poor so how can you bait anyone by calling them poor? If I did something rude and someone said something like that to me I would be like " yes, being poor does suck, thank you for understanding." By trying to get under one's skin by calling them poor you are implying that there is something wrong with being poor. And there isn't.

  

  Report2 Reply
• phira member

  

  March 2014

  I'd avoid any kind of "poor" or "white trash." We can be snarky and give this couple what they deserve without inadvertently denigrating people who aren't being rude.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

  Report7 Reply
• Vivandiere8 member

  

  March 2014

  AllOnOneDay said:

  Send Miss Rudey McRuderson a photocopy of Monopoly money as a gift. Fake invite = fake gift. Then spend your money on some lovely alcohol.

  I love this idea, and I also love the idea of some how sending her a check that will bounce. You can then explain that you wanted to give her a gift, but then realized you couldn't afford it so you pulled your money out of the bank so she couldn't take the money.
  

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• SBmini member

  

  March 2014

  So they have an ambiguous invitation system that leads to totally open ended assumptions on who is or isn't invited then they freak out when too many people RSVP. LOL. Who saw that coming? 

  
  

  Be the bigger person here. Her tackiness is unmatched, but all that happened was that you missed a disaster and instead had delicious tequila. Instead of cutting her off- I would simply show her what it is to host a properly planned wedding. 

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• pinkcow13 member

  

  March 2014

  I spoke to my cousin last night whom I am really close with about this, and she said that the tacky cousin apparently put up the time change on FB. Really? My life does not revolve around FB. I went back to see if this was true, and all I saw were her "23 hours till we're married!" on the invitation (which conveniently had the time covered. So, now I'm supposed to sit her, look at what time this pic was posted to figure out the wedding would be in 23 hours?? I also heard that she was sad because in the end not many people showed. HMMM, I wonder WHY. I didn't speak to my parents so Idk if they spoke with my aunt about this crapshow. I think I'll probably just take her off my FB, or yea, have her see what a properly hosted wedding is. She is on our wedding list but she was red listed, and at this point she might just be off the list lol.

  
  

  When I told my cousin about the poorly addressed invitation she made a comment like"Of course you're invited. These people wouldn't know how to send a proper invitation, they don't have any class." I thought she was being kinda harsh but now I see she was absolutely correct.

                               

  

  
  

   

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• Jells2dot0 mod

  

  March 2014

  I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this completely unnecessary, classless, rude behavior.

   

  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  

  Report1 Reply
• phira member

  

  March 2014

  If you do invite this cousin to your wedding, I'm sure she'll show up 5 hours early anyway.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

  Report1 Reply
• MGP member

  

  March 2014

  Wow, just wow.

  
  

  So I guess from now on when a bride says she can't afford an evening wedding and we advise her to push it back to a non meal time we also need to clarify "AND MAKE SURE TO INFORM ALL OF YOUR GUESTS ABOUT THE CHANGE".  

  Report9 Reply
• Vivandiere8 member

  

  April 2014

  I keep coming back to this chit chat forum hoping to see an update for this thread. Something that some how explains the madness of it all and the total lack of respect, or let's us know the bride and groom and/or parents were made completely aware of the folly of their ways and apologized profusely.  Trouble is I know there really can't be a good excuse, and they will probably be forever blind to their behavior, but some stories really stick in the mind...
  

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• cupcait927 member

  

  April 2014

  Yup. You win for rudest thing ever on TK. I am SO sorry you had to put up with that crap!
  
  Also, @banana468 you win for best poem ever composed on TK!

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