Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Thinking of doing SCIENCE! for our unity ritual...

So I've read a couple different places where couples will pour two different chemical compounds into a glass vase or large beaker or something for the unity ritual. In one example, both poured two clear liquids -- that I'm sure the ceremony witnesses thought was water -- and a reaction took place where it immediately turned pink. There was delighted gasping. I love this idea, in part because it is more interesting that watching people light a candle. You can also get geeky with the symbolism. The two compounds that were once separate are gone, and now have formed a new compound. You could also go at it from the angle that some molecules that come into contact don't interact, and other's do. (I don't take credit for any of this, I found it on the internets).

Does anyone happen to know what these two compounds are? Both clear liquid that look like water, turns pink when combined...

Another version was a couple who did the good old "baking soda volcano." But they did it with two small beakers, one colored blue, the other red, and poured it into a large beaker so nothing overflowed. The resulting color, once the foam settled, was purple, which was their wedding color.

Anyway, just thought this was really interesting, especially for a couple of sciency geeks like my FH and I. Anyone else heard of this, or know of other examples?

A chemistry unity ritual is neck-and-neck with a tree-planting (which we would donate to a local arboretum that is very sentimental to us) right now, so we'll see...

Re: Thinking of doing SCIENCE! for our unity ritual...

  • Ah HAH! This wasn't the original article I found but it sounds like the same reaction, and does list the compounds: 



  • I am pondering doing a glow ceremony by combining the two liquids from a glowstick. Gotta test it first, though! I love the unity volcano and the color-changing liquid.
  • I'll admit that we did a unity ceremony.  It was 5 minutes at the reception but it involved all 4 parents and siblings pouring a layer of sand into a frame.  (Okay - truth, and I feel horrible still, it ended up being longer because we searched for MIL who was apparently sitting crying in her car but it should have only taken 5 min. I wouldn't have done it if I'd known it was going to take longer.)

    For me, it was the symbolism of joining families that I wanted.  I agree that the ceremony is a unity ceremony for the couple and also don't understand the need to do anything additional with just the two people getting married.
    Anniversary
  • classyduckclassyduck member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited March 2014
    Why can't people just treat their wedding ceremony as unifying enough? Why?

    Because SCIENCE!

    image
    Precisely!

    And aren't unity ceremonies traditionally included to symbolize the joining of families?

    Honestly though after talking about it, we are leaning towards a tree planting, it would have sentimental connotations for FH and myself, and I like the symbolism better. Not quite as fun as SCIENCE! though.

    When Catholics come together to worship, why do they have so many different rites? Why do they make the sign of the cross, do several readings and songs, why do they also include the rite of the Eucharist, and the holy water? Isn't one form of worship as good as another? And obviously, the answer is that each rite and gesture means something different, and represents a different aspect of faith. Wedding ceremonies, by contrast, are usually much sparser in rites -- the only one you almost always see is the exchanging of vows/rings (not counting any other religious rites that may be performed such as in a Catholic Mass). For us, in addition to symbolizing the unity of families, we wanted to better characterize through symbolism additional layers of meaning of the nature of our commitment. Rings and vows are excellent at conveying the eternal nature of commitment between two people. But a tree planting, for example, could symbolize the nurturing we hope to give eachother; it could symbolize life and fertility; it could symbolize "putting down roots", longevity, and a marriage that strengthens over time. For me, I love the idea of our parents scooping soil into the pot to symbolize that the love and support of family can help our union grow strong. It think it would be amazing continuity if, when my children get married someday, they would plant a tree from a cutting or seedling of the one I plant with my FH.
  • Why can't people just treat their wedding ceremony as unifying enough? Why?

    Because SCIENCE!

    image
    Precisely!

    And aren't unity ceremonies traditionally included to symbolize the joining of families?

    Honestly though after talking about it, we are leaning towards a tree planting, it would have sentimental connotations for FH and myself, and I like the symbolism better. Not quite as fun as SCIENCE! though.

    When Catholics come together to worship, why do they have so many different rites? Why do they make the sign of the cross, do several readings and songs, why do they also include the rite of the Eucharist, and the holy water? Isn't one form of worship as good as another? And obviously, the answer is that each rite and gesture means something different, and represents a different aspect of faith. Wedding ceremonies, by contrast, are usually much sparser in rites -- the only one you almost always see is the exchanging of vows/rings (not counting any other religious rites that may be performed such as in a Catholic Mass). For us, in addition to symbolizing the unity of families, we wanted to better characterize through symbolism additional layers of meaning of the nature of our commitment. Rings and vows are excellent at conveying the eternal nature of commitment between two people. But a tree planting, for example, could symbolize the nurturing we hope to give eachother; it could symbolize life and fertility; it could symbolize "putting down roots", longevity, and a marriage that strengthens over time. For me, I love the idea of our parents scooping soil into the pot to symbolize that the love and support of family can help our union grow strong. It think it would be amazing continuity if, when my children get married someday, they would plant a tree from a cutting or seedling of the one I plant with my FH.
    Yes. It's when people start making up things to do to symbolise unity that have nothing to do with worship, religion, or weddings that I feel like I'm stuck at an elementary school talent programme rather than a wedding.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Why can't people just treat their wedding ceremony as unifying enough? Why?

    Because SCIENCE!

    image
    Precisely!

    And aren't unity ceremonies traditionally included to symbolize the joining of families?

    Honestly though after talking about it, we are leaning towards a tree planting, it would have sentimental connotations for FH and myself, and I like the symbolism better. Not quite as fun as SCIENCE! though.

    When Catholics come together to worship, why do they have so many different rites? Why do they make the sign of the cross, do several readings and songs, why do they also include the rite of the Eucharist, and the holy water? Isn't one form of worship as good as another? And obviously, the answer is that each rite and gesture means something different, and represents a different aspect of faith. Wedding ceremonies, by contrast, are usually much sparser in rites -- the only one you almost always see is the exchanging of vows/rings (not counting any other religious rites that may be performed such as in a Catholic Mass). For us, in addition to symbolizing the unity of families, we wanted to better characterize through symbolism additional layers of meaning of the nature of our commitment. Rings and vows are excellent at conveying the eternal nature of commitment between two people. But a tree planting, for example, could symbolize the nurturing we hope to give eachother; it could symbolize life and fertility; it could symbolize "putting down roots", longevity, and a marriage that strengthens over time. For me, I love the idea of our parents scooping soil into the pot to symbolize that the love and support of family can help our union grow strong. It think it would be amazing continuity if, when my children get married someday, they would plant a tree from a cutting or seedling of the one I plant with my FH.
    The difference is that the Catholic Mass rituals are not directly related to unifying the couple -- that's what the marriage ceremony is for. All of our rituals are for showing God glory, praise, and devotion, as well as respect and deference.

    I respect what you're aiming for and much prefer the tree planting idea to the science one, as it's rooted in nature. The science one seemed a little forced and as though you're just looking for a wow factor and talking point, when the focus should be on the two of you and sanctity of the bond you're forming.


    image
  • All I can ask is, "Why?"  Traditionally when you marry, you exchange rings and pledge to spend the rest of your life with this person.  That's pretty unifying.  You will share a home - bedroom, bathroom, kitchen.  You will file a joint tax return.  You will probably become joint property owners, possibly parents.  You will share or at least have access to each other's money.  And believe me, this is coming from a very happy wife, but individuality is also important so my advice is take the "unity" down just a bit.  Very soon you will probably have even more "unity" than you ever anticipated before you were married. 
  • classyduckclassyduck member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited March 2014
    Yes. It's when people start making up things to do to symbolise unity that have nothing to do with worship, religion, or weddings that I feel like I'm stuck at an elementary school talent programme rather than a wedding.
    Thank you for sharing that it feels out of place to you, and for the irony.
    The difference is that the Catholic Mass rituals are not directly related to unifying the couple -- that's what the marriage ceremony is for. I understand that, but they are both still spiritual ceremonies, which was my point. All of our rituals are for showing God glory, praise, and devotion, as well as respect and deference. And all of mine are for representing different aspects of the commitment of marriage.

    I respect what you're aiming for and much prefer the tree planting idea to the science one, as it's rooted in nature. The science one seemed a little forced and as though you're just looking for a wow factor and talking point, when the focus should be on the two of you and sanctity of the bond you're forming.
    I agree, it felt that way to me too. Part of why we've abandoned it, thanks for the input!
  • Alex3Mom said:
    All I can ask is, "Why?"  Traditionally when you marry, you exchange rings and pledge to spend the rest of your life with this person.  That's pretty unifying.  You will share a home - bedroom, bathroom, kitchen.  You will file a joint tax return.  You will probably become joint property owners, possibly parents.  You will share or at least have access to each other's money.  And believe me, this is coming from a very happy wife, but individuality is also important so my advice is take the "unity" down just a bit.  Very soon you will probably have even more "unity" than you ever anticipated before you were married. 
    I understand. But as I've mentioned, one of the main reasons we wanted to include this was not to be unifying between my FH and myself, but instead to give the families an opportunity to symbolically express their wish for unity as well.

    Originally, with the chemistry idea... I had wanted parents to each add a compound to the chemical mix, and was hoping for a nice color change each time. So it was still going to be an activity to represent family unity. But, as I've stated, and other posters have suggested, this may be a little... over-the-top. And besides, coming up with the compounds is haaaaaard. :) Anyway I think the tree is more appropriate.
  •    I saw the article you are talking about on Offbeat Bride. Maybe you could ask in the comments of the article. A lot of times people who write the articles will respond to comments. 
  • I agree that a unity ceremony is not required, but I don't see any problem with doing one if it's something that's meaningful to you! A chemistry unity ceremony would be a lot more meaningful and less "forced" at my ceremony than anything religious.
  • While I think unity ceremonies are not required, it would probably make my day to see a bride and groom make a baking soda volcano at a reception. I have no idea why.
  • Dr. Sheldon Cooper would be so proud.
    image
  • Chiming in again about rituals meaning different things to different people -- I was mentioning to my mom how I didn't know if I would have my veil over my face at all (kind of don't like the whole history of that) and my mom was all "OMG you HAVE to lift the veil, it's so LIMINAL!" i.e. she likes the visual of changing from one state to another. Who knew. I'll probably keep working on my glow stick unity ritual idea.
  • I'm late to this thread but OMG I love it!!! It would be so much fun. My FI and I are doing a Pagan ceremony so we won't be adding any additional unity stuff but I could so see us doing something like that if we did.
  • As a chemistry teacher let me explain why this is a bad idea. The reaction requires sodium hydroxide also known as lye which is a strong base. If mixed improperly or the wrong molarity solution is used it causes severe chemical burns. If spilled it will eat through the fabric in your dress. The couple in the article are both chemists so there was less chance of making a mistake like this. The average couple doesn't have the chemistry knowledge to pull this off safely.
     
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  • As a chemistry teacher let me explain why this is a bad idea. The reaction requires sodium hydroxide also known as lye which is a strong base. If mixed improperly or the wrong molarity solution is used it causes severe chemical burns. If spilled it will eat through the fabric in your dress. The couple in the article are both chemists so there was less chance of making a mistake like this. The average couple doesn't have the chemistry knowledge to pull this off safely.
    Hey, who says we're average?! *indignant huff*

    ~.^
  • How about mentos in soda!!! Okay only kidding. Although I heard a rumor that Mentos changed the formula so it doesn't explode in soda anymore, but I haven't done any research on it.

    For the record, it would make my day too if the bride and groom did a baking soda volcano, LOL. 
  • Fairyjen1 said:
    How about mentos in soda!!! Okay only kidding. Although I heard a rumor that Mentos changed the formula so it doesn't explode in soda anymore, but I haven't done any research on it.

    For the record, it would make my day too if the bride and groom did a baking soda volcano, LOL. 
    That could splatter "lava" all over the place.  I wouldn't do it if dressing up and extra venue cleanup charges would be involved.
  • As a chemistry teacher let me explain why this is a bad idea. The reaction requires sodium hydroxide also known as lye which is a strong base. If mixed improperly or the wrong molarity solution is used it causes severe chemical burns. If spilled it will eat through the fabric in your dress. The couple in the article are both chemists so there was less chance of making a mistake like this. The average couple doesn't have the chemistry knowledge to pull this off safely.
    Hey, who says we're average?! *indignant huff*

    ~.^

    You wouldn't be asking about what compounds to use if you weren't. You would also know the dangers and would not have asked about it here. Just sayin...
     
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2014
    As a chemistry teacher let me explain why this is a bad idea. The reaction requires sodium hydroxide also known as lye which is a strong base. If mixed improperly or the wrong molarity solution is used it causes severe chemical burns. If spilled it will eat through the fabric in your dress. The couple in the article are both chemists so there was less chance of making a mistake like this. The average couple doesn't have the chemistry knowledge to pull this off safely.
    I'm going to +1 this.  I make soap and thus handle lye regularly, and I only do it while wearing gloves and eye goggles and in a well-ventilated area.  This is not something you want to play around with without safety equipment and while wearing a sleeveless dress.  

    ETA: Mixing lye and water together causes a chemical reaction that gets hot (200 deg+) and puts off dangerous fumes.  



  • classyduckclassyduck member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited April 2014
    I apologize if I gave the impression I would take random internet strangers at their word. Was just looking for ideas that I would confirm with an expert later. True words of caution, though.
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