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Gifts are the most sensitive part of the wedding!

SammiQ316SammiQ316 member
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in Registry and Gift Forum
So, I've heard it both ways...on the Knot Q&A, it ultimately says to NOT put your registry information in anything you send out because people will ask you. Places keep advertising that if you register with them, they'll include X amount of registry cards to put in invitations...do I just not put them in there? I'm so confused. It seems like a double edged sword. I feel greedy even registering, but sheesh...why is it a common thing to do if it's rude!?

Thoughts? Did you put registry info in your invitations or Save the Dates/are you planning to? 


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Re: Gifts are the most sensitive part of the wedding!

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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
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    SammiQ316 said:
    So, I've heard it both ways...on the Knot Q&A, it ultimately says to NOT put your registry information in anything you send out because people will ask you. Places keep advertising that if you register with them, they'll include X amount of registry cards to put in invitations...do I just not put them in there? I'm so confused. It seems like a double edged sword. I feel greedy even registering, but sheesh...why is it a common thing to do if it's rude!?

    Thoughts? Did you put registry info in your invitations or Save the Dates/are you planning to? 


    Think about it. If you register at Target and BBB, but BBB gives you cards to slip into your invitations, it may be more likely for people to shop at BBB. They're just trying to secure sales for themselves, NOT help you be a gracious bride. They don't care how rude they make you look as long as they profit.
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    ei34ei34 member
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    It's totally fine to include registry info on shower invitations. That's a gift-giving event by definition. But yeah, anything wedding-related (STD, wedding invitation) it's important to refrain, since gifts aren't mandatory. It's very easy for guests to find your registry (Internet search, ask family) should they want to give you a non-cash wedding gift though.
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    SammiQ316SammiQ316 member
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    Ahhh! Thank you! I feel weird even registering. Honestly, I'd rather have a fun party wedding where my grandma does the robot than have a bunch of presents!!
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    Emmy1493Emmy1493 member
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    It's not horrible or rude to register. What is rude is including it in the invites. Like other posters have already said, they can find your registry by searching your name, or by worth of mouth. :)
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    SammiQ316SammiQ316 member
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    You all rock! I have a feeling I'm going to have a gazillion other questions. This community thing is awesome!
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    KGold80KGold80 member
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    SammiQ316 said:
    Ahhh! Thank you! I feel weird even registering. Honestly, I'd rather have a fun party wedding where my grandma does the robot than have a bunch of presents!!
    If this happens, please be sure to get it on video....and share with your fellow Knotties.
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    SammiQ316SammiQ316 member
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    I will try my best. I've always joked that all I care about is that happening at my wedding and I won't be satisfied until it happens...
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    Aray82Aray82 member
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    Right--just don't put them in there. If someone is hosting a shower, you could also give the cards to them for their invites. The store just really wants to make money off your guests so avoiding rudeness will not be a priority for them.

    I used to feel that even registering was greedy, but now that I've been a guest at many weddings without one, I appreciate a thoughtful registry with items in a wide price range. FI and I are grad students and always on a tight budget during wedding season so it's nice to know that whatever we can afford will at least buy something that the couple wants and will use.
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    beachyone15beachyone15 member
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    We had people asking my mom where we were registered before we had even registered! LOL So don't worry about it too much. I also received inserts but am not using them. We put our registry info on our wedding website which is on our save-the-dates.

    @shrekspeare I love that GIF - he's my celeb crush!



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    CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
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    I promptly dumped in the recycling bin the registry cards I received from BB&B.  We only put registry info on our website.
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    bananasplit472001bananasplit472001 member
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    I would include a link to your wedding website on the invites.  There is a tab for registry information and I think it is the most polite way of going about it.  Even though it is not technically appropriately to display your registry information anywhere I think that the rules on this are changing.  Guests want to know where you are registered and purchase a gift that you would like.  Some don't care and will get you what they get you.  But the vast majority of people do want to know so wait until they ask you or put it on your wedding website.  
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    netskyblue2netskyblue2 member
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    edited April 2014
    Registry information gets around, let me tell you!  I was surprised today with a gift card from my coworkers to where I'm registered.  None were invited, nor have I mentioned where we registered.  I almost kinda feel a little bit stalked :P
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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    kimches said:
    We aren't including them in invites, however we are including the link to our theknot website on our STDs. We're writing "For directions and more information, visit ___________" that way people can get directions, find a close hotel, and hey there's a link for our registry there too IF people want to look. Most of my family and friends have already asked where I'm registered by now. My best friend included those free "the happy couple is registered at _______" cards in her invites because she was inviting like 200 people and didn't want everyone calling and texting her asking where she was registered when she could slip those free cards in the invites and not have to be bothered by people asking. I think it's a bit tacky to do it though. Yeah, you could have a slew of people texting/calling you, but if they do they might ask you if there are any specific items on the list you really really want, which benefits you because if you tell a couple people "I really want that flatware," or "I really want that keurig," there's a better chance you might get those items you want most. Yes, it's time consuming to potentially have every gust call you to ask where your registry is, but if they're taking the time to come to your wedding and potentially buy you a gift, they deserve a few texts or a couple minutes on the phone with you (even if they're going to ask the same questions you're already been asked by everyone you've ever met).
    It's not "a bit tacky."  It's incredibly rude and inappropriate. 



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