Is a wedding registry and bridal shower possible for an international wedding?

Azhirah · April 2014

Hi everyone

My fiance and I have only just begun wedding plans, and already we have encountered a dilemma. We are just starting our lives together and a registry and bridal shower would help us a lot. We are both very international people after living in multiple countries, and we have invited close family and friends to our wedding from several different countries - Barbados, Jamaica, the British Virgin Islands, the USA, Canada and Wales. Our wedding will be held in Barbados, even though we currently live in the British Virgin Islands, since it is the easiest place for all our wedding guests to travel to.

I think planning a registry and even a bridal shower will be a nightmare because:

1) It will be a hassle for guests to fly in with boxed gifts, and even more of a hassle for us to bring these gifts from Barbados to the BVI.

2) Most online retailers do not ship to the BVI and those that do are very expensive (even Amazon - I checked).

3) The BVI is tiny, and there are no local retailers with online shopping options with which to start a registry.

4) Asking for cash is tacky.

Does anyone have any ideas about what to do about a registry? Should we not even bother? I've heard of cash registries, but are they any less tacky than asking for cash? Am I making more work for myself by worrying about tackiness?

Thanks for you suggestions!

photokitty · April 2014

We did not register - anywhere. Everyone knows cash is always appropriate, appreciated and often preferred - literally everyone on earth knows this. =o)

Some people will want to get you a physical gift - these are not the people who use cash registries. The people who use cash registries are people who would give you a check, but instead think that you will receive the FULL amount they gift you - but you don't, they end up paying fees for a company to cut you a check.

But I have good news

For our wedding the gifts broke down like this: 75% cash or check, 20% gift cards and 5% physical gifts.

If you want money or don't need anything don't register. This is the best way to politely suggest folks give you money. I'm telling you from experience ;-)

A cash registry is not polite, sorry. There is nothing wrong with saying, when asked where you are registered, we are unable to register at any local retailer or international ones that offer shipping to BVI, but we are saving up for items for the house (or a house or big screen TV or whatever it is you'd like to purchase).

I would decline showers - but who would be able to fly in for a shower anyway? If you have a shower back home, take an empty suitcase and plan to fly back with any presents. Ones you can fit or can't leave with your parents for later retrieval, return to the store before leaving the country for merchandise credit to use later.

GL!

mysticl · April 2014

Azhirah said:

Hi everyone

My fiance and I have only just begun wedding plans, and already we have encountered a dilemma. We are just starting our lives together and a registry and bridal shower would help us a lot. We are both very international people after living in multiple countries, and we have invited close family and friends to our wedding from several different countries - Barbados, Jamaica, the British Virgin Islands, the USA, Canada and Wales. Our wedding will be held in Barbados, even though we currently live in the British Virgin Islands, since it is the easiest place for all our wedding guests to travel to.

I think planning a registry and even a bridal shower will be a nightmare because:
1) It will be a hassle for guests to fly in with boxed gifts, and even more of a hassle for us to bring these gifts from Barbados to the BVI.
2) Most online retailers do not ship to the BVI and those that do are very expensive (even Amazon - I checked).
3) The BVI is tiny, and there are no local retailers with online shopping options with which to start a registry.
4) Asking for cash is tacky.

Does anyone have any ideas about what to do about a registry? Should we not even bother? I've heard of cash registries, but are they any less tacky than asking for cash? Am I making more work for myself by worrying about tackiness?

Thanks for you suggestions!

No they aren't. My suggestion is don't register and decline a shower if one is offered. People will get the hint to give you money. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what most of them are planning to do anyhow because of the logistics involved with getting gifts to you.

LondonLisa · April 2014

I also agree with PP, don't register and decline all showers. Also, with so much international travel, a lot of people may not be able to afford big gifts.

Definitely do NOT do a cash registry.

00kim00 · April 2014

We have guests coming from 3 countries and 3 states in the US. My maid of honor offered a bridal shower if I could travel to her. She lives near where I grew up so all of my family and a big chunk of my side of the guest list lives there, and I was able to plan a weekend addition to a business trip that took me out that way, so I accepted and made sure to fly an airline that let me check bags free. If a group of your guests live near each other, you could go to them. It's enough expense and trouble to travel to my wedding, I wouldn't ask anyone to travel for a shower for me. One thing I didn't see mentioned yet is that you don't plan or ask for your own bridal shower. If family and friends know you're traveling to them near your wedding, someone may offer, but they still might not, so I wouldn't plan a trip specifically for a shower unless someone offers first.

Is a wedding registry and bridal shower possible for an international wedding?

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