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etiquette faux pas that don't bother you

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Re: etiquette faux pas that don't bother you

  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I find it interesting how many of us aren't bothered by cash bars ( I always find the need to point out that I don't think it's acceptable to charge for soft drinks - ever).

    I enjoy hearing that people can still uphold etiquette, regardless of whether they are personally bothered by the faux pas or not!!

    @Lyndausvi - in all honesty, some members of my family are very against open bar. My grandmother actually had the audacity to waggle a finger at me during a dinner I took her to for her birthday last year and say "don't you DARE have an open bar!!!!". The majority of her family is against alcohol on principle. I told her it wasn't a topic she needed to worry about and that there would be plenty of diet coke for her...bean dip...bean dip...

    I am bothered by cash bars. Here is my reason why. My fi and I were invited via facebook to his close friend's wedding. We happened to be in the area that weekend and he asked if we should go. We looked at our bank account and we debated. We had less than 200 dollars left, taking out what we would need to get us back to school. We debated. But I knew it was important to FI. I gave up soda for the next month. We didn't eat out once and we trimmed wear we could. We were already not paying for phones and such.  We watched every dollar we spent that month. We had to drive to get there, so we filled up on gas and checked the bank account again. We had 70 dollars. We went and bought the toaster oven that they wanted, luckily it was on sale, and used some old wrapping paper that my parents gave us. 

    We drove to the wedding with 20 dollars in our bank account. Granted we had more in our savings, but we don't touch that money.  We got there early and realized we should have brought the gift, when the MOB scolded us. We were young and didn't know better. We were just proud of being able to afford a gift and we handmade the card.  It was hot and outdoor wedding with an indoor reception. While waiting for the wedding to start we went to get a soda and they tried to charge us and at that moment we knew we would watch many of our HS friends drink that night and we would not be able to have a drink, except water. I could see the disappointment on FIs face, who never thought twice about cash bars until we were the odd guests that couldn't justify spending our last 20 dollars on maybe 3 drinks. 

    Luckily the bride's aunt showed up just in time to see us tell the bar tender that we were changing the order to water. She asked what was up and we played nice saying "Oh, just decided it was too hot for soda. We need to say hydrated to dance later!" all peppy like. We certainly weren't going to downgrade the bride (we didn't really know the groom) to her own family. The aunt then tried to order a wine and when the bartender tried to charge her, she flipped in the most polite way ever. She then demanded that the entire bar tab be put on her and her hubby's card as a gift to the bride. We watched her negotiate the pp price of the open bar with the DOC and pay for it. 

    -I would never want to make my guests feel like that. And I would be mortified if my aunt had to pay for my improper hosting. We never got a thank you card, but I sincerely hope the aunt did. I know FI thanked her later (they knew each other quite well). 


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  • MuppetOverlordMuppetOverlord member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @pinkshorts27 I know why people are bothered by cash bars. It makes sense to me. That's why etiquette exists and why people should be considerate of it, regardless of their personal feelings on the topic.  That's what I meant with my comment.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    MuppetOverlord said:
    @pinkshorts27 I know why people are bothered by cash bars. It makes sense to me. That's why etiquette exists and why people should be considerate of it, regardless of their personal feelings on the topic.  That's what I meant with my comment.
    gotcha, I understand now. I do love sharing that story since I think it helps illustrate my point. And now that I have it typed out, I can c/p it to relevant conversations.

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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    -Wording on invitations, I'm probably not going to notice. Just, no poems, no rhyming, my ADD kicks in half way through and I no longer know when/where your event is taking place. 
    -I sigh at cash bars, but I don't get too upset. And I won't be having one. Though if I'm charged for non-alcoholic and alcoholic drinks, I no longer like you.
    -Clothing choices, I again won't notice/don't know the majority of the rules.
    -Registry cards in invitations. Mostly because most people I know don't know they are rude so I've gotten used to seeing them. Again, we won't be doing them.

    In the long run most things don't bother me too terribly much. I mean, I'll judge the hell out of you, but I'll probably still show. Especially if it looks like it's gonna be a train wreck. That's just good entertainment there.
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