Intro and Question

mrsluckyjune · April 2014

Hi Ladies!! It's been a while since I have been on the knot. I have been with the love of my life for 8 years and I am excited to be back on the knot. However, I have a question... What do you think of a gift card bridal shower... Yes, No, or just plain tacky? It's not my shower, but a friends. I don't know how I feel but I understand times are changing, people are using FaceBook for updates and shower guest lists (for attendance purposes). I am pretty traditional and I am on the fence about this type of shower. I would love to give them something from the heart... What are your thoughts? TIA

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

mrsluckyjune said:

Hi Ladies!! It's been a while since I have been on the knot. I have been with the love of my life for 8 years and I am excited to be back on the knot. However, I have a question... What do you think of a gift card bridal shower... Yes, No, or just plain tacky? It's not my shower, but a friends. I don't know how I feel but I understand times are changing, people are using FaceBook for updates and shower guest lists (for attendance purposes). I am pretty traditional and I am on the fence about this type of shower. I would love to give them something from the heart... What are your thoughts? TIA

Just plain tacky. The point of a shower is to shower someone with physical gifts, not gift cards.

Also, the fact that people are using FB for things like event invites and guest lists doesn't make it socially acceptable or correct, it just makes them lazy.

mrsluckyjune · April 2014

I don't agree with any either but she's a good friend. Do I still go to the shower? If so, do I just bring a gift card? Basically, I don't know if I should go or not. I feel awkward just bringing a gift card with the amount on it. Background: She was in my wedding and never gave us a gift, not that we expected anything. A gift is a blessing.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

I was invited to one of these years ago. I didn't attend because I hate showers and I didn't really like the bride. It was also one of those "iffy" showers thrown by the church. (I call it 'iffy' because the guest list was every woman in the church congregation regardless of who was invited to the wedding.) I thought it was weird back then not even knowing it was an etiquette no-no. But on the other side of things, I'd kinda love to get a shitload of giftcards for gas, groceries, and household stuff. I just don't understand how a shower like that works, you sit around watching the bride open envelopes? "From Sally, a $50 giftcard to Target. From Joan, a $10 giftcard to BP gas." Weird.

OliveOilsMom · April 2014

adk19 - I would imagine that the gift cards are not opened in front of everyone, but later in private by the B&G. Not that it makes it anymore acceptable to have a giftcard shower.

I would decline attending the shower OP. I'm sure you will be busy that weekend with something!

AddieCake · April 2014

BORING!

mrsluckyjune · April 2014

I feel it the same as in it would be really strange to just give an envelope with a gift card.

Should I ask her if I could buy them something they would really like to have and just not attend?

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

mrsluckyjune said:

I don't agree with any either but she's a good friend. Do I still go to the shower? If so, do I just bring a gift card? Basically, I don't know if I should go or not. I feel awkward just bringing a gift card with the amount on it. Background: She was in my wedding and never gave us a gift, not that we expected anything. A gift is a blessing.

If she's that good of a friend, is there any way you can take her aside and tell her that this is tacky and will get side-eyed by a lot of people, and that it's really in poor form? Does she even know it's happening on her behalf?

Otherwise, I'd skip the shower and just take her a physical gift at another time.

mrsluckyjune · April 2014

mrsluckyjune · April 2014

AddieCake said:

BORING!

The Shower or the Post...?

AddieCake · April 2014

The shower. And I would skip it and send her a gift card or cash.

mrsluckyjune · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

mrsluckyjune said:

I don't agree with any either but she's a good friend. Do I still go to the shower? If so, do I just bring a gift card? Basically, I don't know if I should go or not. I feel awkward just bringing a gift card with the amount on it. Background: She was in my wedding and never gave us a gift, not that we expected anything. A gift is a blessing.

If she's that good of a friend, is there any way you can take her aside and tell her that this is tacky and will get side-eyed by a lot of people, and that it's really in poor form? Does she even know it's happening on her behalf?

Otherwise, I'd skip the shower and just take her a physical gift at another time.

That's a great idea!! I'll text her and ask. If it's not her idea then I just ask her what they would love to be blessed with.

lyndausvi · April 2014

I'm not a fan of showers anyway. Back in the day they were to help setup a household. With a lot of households being already setup I find them antiquated and think they should just go away for those people who say they don't need anything and prefer cash or GC.

If you don't need anything what you are going to buy with the GC? Color me confused.

A GC shower gives me a good reason to decline.

CamiSelene · April 2014

I don't like this. It is just tacky and just another form of asking for money. A shower is meant for actual physical gifts, not oooooh, look at this pretty blue and white rectangular piece of plastic "dolla dolla bill y'all" (sorry, couldn't help myself. Lol, I'm a dork).... but yeah, I'd say booooring! If she is really a good froend, I would take her aside and express to her that I would feel more comfortable if I could give a physical, heartfelt/thoughtful gift rather than a gift card.

mrsluckyjune · April 2014

CamiSelene said:

I don't like this. It is just tacky and just another form of asking for money. A shower is meant for actual physical gifts, not oooooh, look at this pretty blue and white rectangular piece of plastic "dolla dolla bill y'all" (sorry, couldn't help myself. Lol, I'm a dork).... but yeah, I'd say booooring! If she is really a good froend, I would take her aside and express to her that I would feel more comfortable if I could give a physical, heartfelt/thoughtful gift rather than a gift card.

LOVE IT!! "dolla dolla bill y'all"

And I think that if you have a house but need things like, formal dishes, spices, etc.. then I'm ok with that. I know that there are always things I "think I have." However, that was just a memory of whats in my moms kitchen!! LOL!!

mrsluckyjune · April 2014

To All:

Thank you for all your input! My hubby doesn't really know and my mom is very traditional. I appreciate all comments!! TY!!

mrsluckyjune · April 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

mrsluckyjune said:

I don't agree with any either but she's a good friend. Do I still go to the shower? If so, do I just bring a gift card? Basically, I don't know if I should go or not. I feel awkward just bringing a gift card with the amount on it. Background: She was in my wedding and never gave us a gift, not that we expected anything. A gift is a blessing.

If she's that good of a friend, is there any way you can take her aside and tell her that this is tacky and will get side-eyed by a lot of people, and that it's really in poor form? Does she even know it's happening on her behalf?

Otherwise, I'd skip the shower and just take her a physical gift at another time.

How do you ask a Bride if she know's about her shower? The invites were already sent and I'm not too sure on how to bring that up! LOL!! Do you just ask if your shower is a surprise?? LOL!

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

mrsluckyjune said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

mrsluckyjune said:

I don't agree with any either but she's a good friend. Do I still go to the shower? If so, do I just bring a gift card? Basically, I don't know if I should go or not. I feel awkward just bringing a gift card with the amount on it. Background: She was in my wedding and never gave us a gift, not that we expected anything. A gift is a blessing.

If she's that good of a friend, is there any way you can take her aside and tell her that this is tacky and will get side-eyed by a lot of people, and that it's really in poor form? Does she even know it's happening on her behalf?

Otherwise, I'd skip the shower and just take her a physical gift at another time.

How do you ask a Bride if she know's about her shower? The invites were already sent and I'm not too sure on how to bring that up! LOL!! Do you just ask if your shower is a surprise?? LOL!

I assumed she knew about the shower -- but I know what happens when one assumes -- so I really meant to ask her if she knew about the gift card aspect of it.

Generally, when showers are a surprise, it's mentioned on the invitation. If no mention is made, you could call the hostess and ask, 'Is this a surprise?'

Once you know if it is (or isn't) then you can address the tacky problem with the guest of honour.

doeydo · April 2014

If the invitation didn't say anything about it being a surprise, then I would assume that she knows about the upcoming shower.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

If it's a surprise and the invite doesn't say so, how can we be sure if the bride knows enough to make showing up somewhere a priority? I'd love to see a group of women sitting in a room with a pile of giftcards on a table and no guest of honor.

indianaalum · April 2014

just plain tacky.......and boring

priceisright07 · April 2014

I was invited to a GC shower a few months ago. They basically said on the invite " since so and so are alrready established in their house, gift cards to their favorite would be appreciated" I didnt think much of it( and it was easier for me to just go buy one anyway) but there were also plenty of real gifts as well.

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