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Polite Way to Ask Children's Ages?

sara5119sara5119 member
Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We're doing a buffet lunch for our reception, and have invited several families with children of various ages. Our venue charges reduced amounts for children based on age (half price for 6-11, kids 5 and under are free). We know where most of the children fall in the age ranges, but there are some that we don't know their ages, and so we need to ask their parents how old they are.

Is there a polite way to do this? I don't want to say out of the blue "How old exactly is little Jasper? We need to know to give the venue an accurate count of children coming." because it's not like there will be a kid's meal option, it's all the same buffet, we're just being charged differently. I'm pretty sure most of these people would be fine with us not wanting to pay more than we have to, but it still seems rude/awkward to ask solely so we can get the discounted pricing.

I'd appreciate any suggestions on how to approach this issue. Thanks!
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Re: Polite Way to Ask Children's Ages?

  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    I don't think there's anything wrong with asking the way you phrased it. People know kids eat less than adults. You need to know for volume reasons, never mind cost.

    Have invites gone out yet? Could you add RSVP lines for # adults, # kids 6-11, # kids under 5?
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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    If invites have gone out, call and ask! :)
    If invites have not gone out, do as PP said:
    #adults _____
    #kids 6-11_____
    #kids under 5 _____

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  • sara5119sara5119 member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    Invites have gone out, we're getting responses now.

    I'll just call/e-mail and say how glad I am they can join us, and ask for the ages of the children. I was just worried that it would be rude or offend someone, but you're right, people should know kids eat for less, so it makes sense we would need to know to give the venue the final headcount.

    Thanks!
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  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    sara5119 said:

    Invites have gone out, we're getting responses now.


    I'll just call/e-mail and say how glad I am they can join us, and ask for the ages of the children. I was just worried that it would be rude or offend someone, but you're right, people should know kids eat for less, so it makes sense we would need to know to give the venue the final headcount.

    Thanks!
    I think you'll be fine calling and asking! You of course can mention that the venue needs ages to group the children's meals into different prices - and I would not be hurt at all by that.

    I jokingly might try to convince you that my kids were all under age 5 haha just trying to help out!

    But you're not being rude at all by asking. Good luck!

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  • CamiSeleneCamiSelene member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Comment First Anniversary
    We just added a line on our rsvp's asking to state the name and ages of children attending. We're also doing little gift bags for the kids with activities for them to do if they get bored or tired at the reception.

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  • sara5119sara5119 member
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    @sugargirl We're going to have enougt trouble convincing the venue that a couple of the five year olds are really that young (they're big kids). But two of my nephews who will be half price can easily put away more fiid than most adults!
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I would say something like "Oh, Aunt Sally I can't believe I forgot, but how old is cousin Joey again?  His age seems to have fallen right out of my head."   But I don't know, I'm just that way. 

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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
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    Is anyone ever honestly offended when you ask how old a kid is? You are overthinking it. 
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  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I would do something like "hey Jane, how was your vacation, how are the kids, oh they're getting so big, how old are that now?"
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Just ask.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • FiancBFiancB member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    larrygaga said:
    Is anyone ever honestly offended when you ask how old a kid is? You are overthinking it. 
    This. Maybe that you forgot, but even then it's understandable. I can't remember exactly how old my nieces and nephews are. If you're that worried and know they're about 5 or about 11, you can probably get away with just counting them as being 5 or 11. But I really wouldn't sweat it. If someone got offended over that than they are crazypants. 
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