Wedding Party

Ten too Many?

Hi y'all! 
I just got engaged 3 weeks ago (ahhhhh!!!) and I've already secured my maids for the big day. I'm the youngest of 4 girls, and originally I wasn't going to ask my 3 sisters to be in the wedding party. I'm 25, and they are 35, 41, and 42. My family is pretty tight knit, but I never envisioned having my sisters standing up at the front of the church with me. It just felt weird because of the age difference. So yesterday, my oldest sister asked if they were going to be included in the wedding party. And I had already (privately) decided with my fiance that I should include them (he has already lined up his 10 guys), so I said yes. Today I relayed this information to our mother who responded with "that's way too many." She thinks 6 or 8 is a good number, and I definitely agree. I don't want to reduce my sisters to being "guest book attendants" or something like that, but I'm not sure how to keep them specially included without offending. Any advice? 

Re: Ten too Many?

  • Hi y'all! 
    I just got engaged 3 weeks ago (ahhhhh!!!) and I've already secured my maids for the big day. I'm the youngest of 4 girls, and originally I wasn't going to ask my 3 sisters to be in the wedding party. I'm 25, and they are 35, 41, and 42. My family is pretty tight knit, but I never envisioned having my sisters standing up at the front of the church with me. It just felt weird because of the age difference. So yesterday, my oldest sister asked if they were going to be included in the wedding party. And I had already (privately) decided with my fiance that I should include them (he has already lined up his 10 guys), so I said yes. Today I relayed this information to our mother who responded with "that's way too many." She thinks 6 or 8 is a good number, and I definitely agree. I don't want to reduce my sisters to being "guest book attendants" or something like that, but I'm not sure how to keep them specially included without offending. Any advice? 
    There is no minimum or maximum to the number of people you can include in your wedding party.

    If you have already asked your sisters to be in your wedding (and that includes saying yes when they asked if they were included) then you cannot demote them because that would be incredibly rude and hurtful to them.

    Oh and sides don't have to be even which is part of the reason why I feel like you are in this predicament in the first place.

  • Good point about the even sides!  I had actually talked to my fiance about that originally, but the way the pictures would turn out makes my head hurt a bit. (but that's why photographers are good at posing people!) At the beginning, I was the one who said it should be even in the first place...i guess i shouldn't have solidified anything when i wasn't sure to begin with. I haven't asked them, and just assumed that they wanted to be including. you know what assuming does....haha and here I am. ;-)
  • H and I had uneven sides.  Here is a picture of our wedding party plus our officiant since he was a close friend of ours.  You don't have to worry about evenness to have good pictures.

  • scribe95 said:
    If your sister asked and you said yes then you already invited them. 

    Personally, 10 is too many for me but do what you are comfortable with. Just remember, that's a huge rehearsal dinner, 20 wedding party gifts, dozens of bouquets or bouts. Ugh.
    This. 

    My brother was once one of 16 GM for a wedding. The bride had 16 BFFs and DEMANDED that the groom find 16 men to be his GM. My brother felt like he was asked to fill a slot, not because he mattered to the couple.

    They also had two RBs and four FGs, for a total WP of 40, including B/G. According to my brother, photos took FOREVER and it was very unpleasant.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • However many people you decide to have in the wedding party, for the love of all that is holy, do not assign someone to man the guest book/gift table!!
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • 10 is a lot but not unheard of. Since all these people have been asked there's really nothing to discuss now. Please keep in mind (and start saving) for the additional costs of flowers, WP gifts and rehearsal dinner as a larger bridal party will increase the cost of all of these!
    image


    Anniversary
  • You've already asked them to be bms, so it's too late to rethink  this.

    Ten is a lot, but you can do it. You should start thinking about ways to pay for all those flowers, attendants gifts etc.. 
                       
  • Yep if you already asked them, there is no way to back out now. As PPs have said, ten is a lot but it's not so bad. I'm having 8. Just be prepared for a lot of gifts, being flexible on dresses with so many people, and a lot of guests (including SOs) at the RD.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • She asked, you said yes, so now you have 10 bridesmaid. You cannot unask them. You will just have to deal with it and practice thinking things through.
  • Hi y'all! 
    I just got engaged 3 weeks ago (ahhhhh!!!) and I've already secured my maids for the big day. I'm the youngest of 4 girls, and originally I wasn't going to ask my 3 sisters to be in the wedding party. I'm 25, and they are 35, 41, and 42. My family is pretty tight knit, but I never envisioned having my sisters standing up at the front of the church with me. It just felt weird because of the age difference. So yesterday, my oldest sister asked if they were going to be included in the wedding party. And I had already (privately) decided with my fiance that I should include them (he has already lined up his 10 guys), so I said yes. Today I relayed this information to our mother who responded with "that's way too many." She thinks 6 or 8 is a good number, and I definitely agree. I don't want to reduce my sisters to being "guest book attendants" or something like that, but I'm not sure how to keep them specially included without offending. Any advice? 
    There is no minimum or maximum to the number of people you can include in your wedding party.

    If you have already asked your sisters to be in your wedding (and that includes saying yes when they asked if they were included) then you cannot demote them because that would be incredibly rude and hurtful to them.

    Oh and sides don't have to be even which is part of the reason why I feel like you are in this predicament in the first place.
    All of this :-)

    I have 10 BMs- that includes the MOH- so I'd say no, 10 isn't too many.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • As others have mentioned, this will have costs that need to be factored in.  A bridal party really is a line item in a wedding budget.

    If you are having 20 attendants, that is 10 bouquets, 10 bouts, 20 thank  you gifts, and 40 places at your RD PLUS you guys and  your families.  If you are looking at a 50-60 person RD the person who is hosting it needs to know the size early in advance.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards