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Bridesmaid help!

mkaykristamkaykrista member
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Hello all (:

I have a huge dilemma when it comes to choosing my bridesmaids. I simply don't have any friends, sisters or coworkers that I would want in our bridal party! I hate to say it, but I don't even have a best friend to ask. As of now, I know that we'll ask my younger cousin, who will be five come our wedding to be the flower girl. I may also ask my aunt (her mom) to be a bridesmaid/maid of honor as she's always been there for me and close to my age. However, I want friends to be in my bridal party! Some of my "closest" friends I don't speak to anymore and wouldn't consider them to be in the bridal party even if we did talk more often. The one girl I would ask to be in it recently exposed herself to be a two-faced liar and has fallen off the face of the Earth with her new job anyways. There are some girls at work who if I became better friends with I would ask.

Has anyone else been in this predicament? Having coworkers and people I talk to is one thing, but how do you figure out bridesmaids when you have no one close to be one for you?

PS, my fiancé and I both have one brother, so that's either two for his side or in a worst case scenario they'd each stand up for us, no bridesmaids :(

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Re: Bridesmaid help!

  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    I've got two guys and one girl standing up for me. I picked people I was close to and that's how it shook out. There's nothing wrong with having your brother stand up for you.
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  • mkaykristamkaykrista member
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    I know I don't have to have bridesmaids, but I want someone other than my brother standing up for me, even though I want him there anyways. I'm okay picking people who are close to me, I just don't have anyone like that..

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    mkaykrista said:
    I know I don't have to have bridesmaids, but I want someone other than my brother standing up for me, even though I want him there anyways. I'm okay picking people who are close to me, I just don't have anyone like that..
    But why do you want additional people?  If you don't have anyone else that you are close with then asking randoms to be in your wedding just so you can fill out your bridal party is silly.  Be happy with your brother and ask your Aunt.  Just because they are family doesn't mean that they aren't your friends as well.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    I am not sure I am going to have bridesmaids.  There was a time when my SIL was a shoo-in for MOH, but she and I are not very close anymore.  I could also ask my cousins, I suppose, but they are not people I would call to bury a body.  I do have close friends, but again, they are not people I would call to bury a body.  I certainly plan to invite all these people, but I am not sure I would go further than that.

    It's okay not to have bridesmaids.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    mkaykrista said:
    I know I don't have to have bridesmaids, but I want someone other than my brother standing up for me, even though I want him there anyways. I'm okay picking people who are close to me, I just don't have anyone like that..
    I'm not sure what you want us to tell you.  If you don't have anybody close enough to ask, then you don't have anybody close enough to ask.



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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
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    mkaykrista said:
    I know I don't have to have bridesmaids, but I want someone other than my brother standing up for me, even though I want him there anyways. I'm okay picking people who are close to me, I just don't have anyone like that..
    Is there a local theatre company in your town? Maybe you could hire somebody to play the role of The Bridesmaid.
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  • beachyone15beachyone15 member
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    It's ok. As I've gotten older, I have fewer (but closer friends). I have two very close girlfriends which are basically going to be my only friends at our wedding - it will be mostly family. In fact, I asked my cousins to be bridesmaids. Do you have any other close family members? I've also heard of brides having their mom's as their MOH. Either way, you don't have to have bridesmaids so don't worry! It'll work out.


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  • jneen101jneen101 member
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    mkaykrista said:
    I know I don't have to have bridesmaids, but I want someone other than my brother standing up for me, even though I want him there anyways. I'm okay picking people who are close to me, I just don't have anyone like that..
    If you don't have anyone to ask, I don't really know what advice anyone can give you here.  You can't exactly hire strangers off the street.
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  • peachy13peachy13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    A few ideas:

    Wait. You technically don't have to ask people to be in your wedding until 9 months before your big day. If you have time to spare, why not wait a little bit and see who you might be closer with? You may make a new friend, get closer to the girls at work, who knows. 

    You mentioned that you have some old friends who you aren't that close with anymore. There is no harm in reconnecting with them. Even if you don't ask them to be bridesmaids, it might be nice to invite them to your wedding. And I don't know anyone who wouldn't want to be asked to be a bridesmaid, no matter how close or not close you are.

    Does your fiance have any female relatives, like a cousin? You can certainly ask them and say that you'd like your bridesmaids to be family.

    Ask a male relative or guy friend. I've seen brides in the past have their best guy friend be in their bridal party! It's cute, sweet, and usually pretty funny.

    Don't fret about having the same number of attendants as your fiance. I'm in a wedding coming up with 7 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen. It might look a little funny but no one thinks it's weird.

    Good luck!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    spookyblondebride said:
    A few ideas:

    Wait. You technically don't have to ask people to be in your wedding until 9 months before your big day. If you have time to spare, why not wait a little bit and see who you might be closer with? You may make a new friend, get closer to the girls at work, who knows. 

    You mentioned that you have some old friends who you aren't that close with anymore. There is no harm in reconnecting with them. Even if you don't ask them to be bridesmaids, it might be nice to invite them to your wedding. And I don't know anyone who wouldn't want to be asked to be a bridesmaid, no matter how close or not close you are.

    Does your fiance have any female relatives, like a cousin? You can certainly ask them and say that you'd like your bridesmaids to be family.

    Ask a male relative or guy friend. I've seen brides in the past have their best guy friend be in their bridal party! It's cute, sweet, and usually pretty funny.

    Don't fret about having the same number of attendants as your fiance. I'm in a wedding coming up with 7 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen. It might look a little funny but no one thinks it's weird.

    Good luck!
    I wouldn't.  I have zero desire to ever be a bridesmaid again.  I'll still go to the wedding and be super happy for my friend, but I don't want to be a bridesmaid.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    spookyblondebride said:
    A few ideas:

    Wait. You technically don't have to ask people to be in your wedding until 9 months before your big day. If you have time to spare, why not wait a little bit and see who you might be closer with? You may make a new friend, get closer to the girls at work, who knows. 

    You mentioned that you have some old friends who you aren't that close with anymore. There is no harm in reconnecting with them. Even if you don't ask them to be bridesmaids, it might be nice to invite them to your wedding. And I don't know anyone who wouldn't want to be asked to be a bridesmaid, no matter how close or not close you are.

    Does your fiance have any female relatives, like a cousin? You can certainly ask them and say that you'd like your bridesmaids to be family.

    Ask a male relative or guy friend. I've seen brides in the past have their best guy friend be in their bridal party! It's cute, sweet, and usually pretty funny.

    Don't fret about having the same number of attendants as your fiance. I'm in a wedding coming up with 7 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen. It might look a little funny but no one thinks it's weird.

    Good luck!
    The one time I was a bridesmaid was enough for me. The bride, now my SIL, and her mom are wonderful people normally, but back then they had the incredibly stupid idea that they would buy several yards of material and have each bridesmaid cut off what they needed and then pass the rest of the material on to the next bridesmaid.  For some asinine reason they made me the last person to get it, and I was supposed to have it shipped to me by someone in South Africa!  Needless to say, that didn't happen, so I got the material on Christmas Eve, right before I had to start working late and on the weekends for several months of tax season (I'm a tax accountant).  I had just moved from Houston to NYC, so I was supposed to spend time I didn't have shopping around for some dressmaker to make the dress.  She charged me a lot more than the local bridesmaids in Houston were being charged, and my mother bitched me out over that.  Then at the last minute, the dressmaker threw in a girdle and charged an extra $200 beyond what we'd already agreed to, and held the dress hostage.  Again, my mother bitched me out over that.  And on top of that, I didn't have contact lenses or the time or money to go see an opthalmalogist and get some, but my mother made a fuss about me not wearing my glasses, so I had to go nearsighted that day.  And I had to walk back up the aisle in the recessional with this much younger kid I babysat for who my brother and SIL matched me up with for the recessional, while everyone else in the wedding party was matched with someone close to their age.

    And since I was living out of town, I didn't get to go to any of the pre-wedding parties.  I flew in right when my SIL's bachelorette party was being held but because I'd just gotten off a plane I was too tired to go.  The only parties I attended were a couple right before the wedding.

    I don't want to be a bridesmaid ever again in my lifetime.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    I'm running into that dilemma also. We are a ways out from our wedding, so I think going to wait and see if become close with anyone - otherwise the idea right now is probably going to just have our siblings stand on each side - his two brothers stand for him and my three stand for me..... isn't how I initially would have thought my wedding would be like, but FSIL and I are close, but not where dying to have her in my wedding; and FI's SIL and I are ok, but we don't really talk yet so again not one dying to ask, and no gfs that am really close with that just have to call and have in the wedding - so will probably be siblings, and - though yes would have been nice to have gfs for bridesmaids, I'm ok if it's a family affair. 
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