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How to handle a delicate dress situation?

KGold80KGold80 member
First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Party
My MOH and I live in different states, so we don't see each other all that often. However, when I saw her a couple of weeks ago I noticed that she had gained a bit of weight. Her dress was already a little snug when she purchased it, but she was in the process of losing weight at the time, so it wasn't a big deal as she could still zip it up, etc. However, life happens and the best laid plans don't always come to fruition...particularly weight loss. Anyway, I'm a little bit concerned that she may not fit into it now, but I obviously don't want to ask her outright and risk hurting her feelings. My wedding is in June so there isn't much chance of substantial weight loss between now and then. Is there a way to bring up trying the dress on without tipping her off about my concern?
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Re: How to handle a delicate dress situation?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    KGold80 said:
    My MOH and I live in different states, so we don't see each other all that often. However, when I saw her a couple of weeks ago I noticed that she had gained a bit of weight. Her dress was already a little snug when she purchased it, but she was in the process of losing weight at the time, so it wasn't a big deal as she could still zip it up, etc. However, life happens and the best laid plans don't always come to fruition...particularly weight loss. Anyway, I'm a little bit concerned that she may not fit into it now, but I obviously don't want to ask her outright and risk hurting her feelings. My wedding is in June so there isn't much chance of substantial weight loss between now and then. Is there a way to bring up trying the dress on without tipping her off about my concern?
    This is your BMs responsibility.  If she can't fit into her dress then she can either buy a new dress that is similar in color and shape and fabric (please be okay with this option) or if she does not like that idea then she can just come as a guest.

    But there is no way for you to bring this up without it coming across like you are afraid she is too fat for the dress.  I am sure if she can't fit into it and it can't be altered then she will say something to you.  But until that time, do not stress about it.

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  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    edited April 2014
    I think you can casually mention in conversation, "hey, is your dress all ready to go?  I spoke to [x] bridesmaid and she just got her alterations done."  Then she can let you know what her plans are for dealing with the dress issue if she knows she has a problem with it.  She may be embarrassed and brush it off, but at least it presents the opportunity to talk about it.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Yeah about the only thing you can ask.is how alterations are coming along
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Nope. What Maggie said. It's nothing for you to "handle," just something for you to adapt to if she tells you the dress doesn't fit.

    If she's having trouble losing weight, the stress of being asked about it by you, even indirectly, couldn't possibly help.
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  • KGold80KGold80 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm definitely not going to press her about it. I wouldn't dream of doing that. She mentioned today that she is going shoe shopping this weekend, so that means she will likely be trying the dress with different heel heights so she knows what will work best when she looks for shoes. She told me before that was her plan, so that should solve the problem. If it doesn't we just roll with it. She got the dress from DB, so she may be able to exchange it straight across for a larger size if they have it in stock.
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  • ei34ei34 member
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    DB is also super-quick at getting dresses in, I've worn BM dresses from them twice and both times my order arrived at the store in about a week. So if your MOH has to order a new size she'd be able to in a timely fashion.
    But ditto PPs that the only way you can bring up her dress is to ask about alterations. I'm sure she knows she's gained weight, a dress convo might stress her out.
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  • Grabows14Grabows14 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    Don't mention it to her; I think it it's a delicate situation, but she is an adult and can make adult decisions. If you do bring it up, it may seem like you want her to lose weight even though you aren't. If there is any topic that you could bring up that could be misconstrued as negative, it's weight. 

    If worse comes to worse: it can be altered to fit her within two weeks from the wedding, per my experience. 
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  • KGold80KGold80 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I had a momentary little freak out, but I'm over it. She could show up in a sack (just not burlap) and I would still have her standing by my side. It will be fine regardless. Thanks for the comments and helping me keep in perspective! :)
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