Etiquette

Is this a thing?

smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs
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Waiting to get back from your Hmoon and then inviting your parents and close family members to watch you open your wedding gifts? 
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Re: Is this a thing?

  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope.
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    PLEASE NO! I am not planning to have a registry (though I am seriously considering having one comprised only of towels), but the thooouuuuuugggghhhhhhtttttt of thiiiiiiiiisssssss. Nooooooooo!
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs
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    beethery said:
    PLEASE NO! I am not planning to have a registry (though I am seriously considering having one comprised only of towels), but the thooouuuuuugggghhhhhhtttttt of thiiiiiiiiisssssss. Nooooooooo!
    I know...my aunt told me this on Saturday..I was like I have never heard of that being a "thing"
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  • In my circle it is common to have a brunch at the parents' house the next day where the B&G open gifts. Usually WP and close family and friends are invited. People usually go on delayed honeymoons because winter sucks in Canada.

    We didn't do this because we expected mostly cash gifts since we had the wedding in my hometown, across the country from where we live, and opening envelopes of cash in front of people is awkward.

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    TeddiD34
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
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    edited May 2014
    One brother opened his gifts in front of us the wedding night in their hotel room. The other brother had a brunch the next day, invited immediate family. We are from DE and both weddings were in AZ. I'm not saying that everyone in AZ does this, but those of us from DE thought it was a strange tradition. ETA - it was my parent's suite, not their room.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I've been invited to several of these. They're usually awkward.

    Not a fan, personally.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I didn't know it was a thing until FI's family was horrified we weren't planning on opening the presents at brunch the day after.
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago
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    edited May 2014
    My family only does this when the couple gets married in their hometown. Either one set of parents hosts or the couple has everyone over to their new home. 

    People bring muffins and breakfast casserole, and we eat leftover wedding cake. It's always immediate family and maybe aunts/uncles who are leaving that day and want to say goodbye. It's very relaxed (the B&G are usually in jeans and t-shirts).

    This is a family tradition, but the B&Gs in our family are never expected to do this. Usually, if we haven't heard anything from the MOB or MOG by the time the reception starts to wind down, people just start making their own plans to hang out the next day.

  • Yes this happens. I think it used to be much more common. We opened up gifts the following day (after the wedding) with my parents, MIL and a few OOT guests staying at the hotel. My parents hosted a "happy hour" and those that that came mostly just socialized while H and I opened gifts. It was very casual and was nice to just catch up with people since we did not get to do that much at the wedding itself. my 3 year old nephew was the only one who was actually watching/into it since he wanted to open them all. My mom and MIL would say their ooo's and ahh's here and there. It was fine, nobody was forced to be there and mom and MIL were happy to see us open stuff, so no big deal.
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  • My cousin and his wife did this. It is a tradition in her family. It was nice. They bought food from this awesome brunch place here so the food was awesome.
  • phiraphira Bahstin
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    Oh good lord no.
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    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    HisGirlFriday13
  • ew no I hope not...

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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago
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    I should add that I've never heard of anyone doing this after the honeymoon. It's always the day after the wedding.

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains
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    I'd be really uncomfortable doing that.
  • I don't see how this would be any more uncomfortable than a shower.
    biggrouch
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    This isn't a thing in my circle. 

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • would not do this either. 
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  • Rebl90Rebl90
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    FMIL wants this, but she's going to have to wait until after the honeymoon. AND, I think it should be limited to parents (and siblings if they want), it's not a tradition on either side for us and groups of people exhaust me. 
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
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    I'm not a fan. My mom asked if we would do it via webcam. I said no because we didn't have internet at the house. I probably would have done it for her, but I didn't really want to.

  • FI's family has this tradition the day after the wedding, but neither of us wanted to do it, because we found it awkward. We provided several good reasons not to: I'm moving accross the country to him, so my home isn't in a state to host it, and my parents' new house is an hour away from the wedding; none of my family has ever heard of it, and would find it odd; and since so much of his side is driving in from six hours away we thought would be much nicer for them to have the full Sunday to drive back. I still got the impression some of his relatives found it sort of rude that we weren't doing it. However, it was apparently also a thing back in the day that they opened the gifts at the reception, so I guess they really like watching people open gifts.
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope.
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    jdluvr06 said:
    I don't see how this would be any more uncomfortable than a shower.
    Those make me uncomfortable too.
    Both things give me major anxiety D8
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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  • KGold80KGold80
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    FMIL asked if we planned to open gifts at the brunch the day after the wedding. I don't think it is something we'd want to do in a restaurant. We can open our gifts in the comfort of our own home thankyouverymuch.
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • emmyg65emmyg65
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    Ugh, no. There are few things more boring than watching someone open presents. And no, I don't like showers either.
    beethery
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    I've never heard of this before. 

  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK
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    I've heard of day after brunches and even witnessed one couple opening presents at the reception like it was some sort of birthday party but I've never heard of waiting until after the honeymoon.

    H and I ended up with our immediate families after we picked up the reception in comfy clothes with a pile of gifts.  The only people who weren't related to us were one of his groomsmen and his wife who are super close friends and helped us pick up (they offered).  We didn't open the cards because we figure no one needs to see us pull out gift cards, checks or cash (we opened those back in the room afterwards).  His parents were the ones transporting our gifts to our house because we lived 2 hours away from the city we got married in and it was on their way home.  We didn't plan it out, it just sort of occurred.  Worked nicely though.

  • Maybe this is a regional thing. I know for our wedding we got maybe 5 actual gifts and the rest was cards. I would feel ackward say, "cash or check" and people inquiring how much.
  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country
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    I never heard of it and I would feel extremely uncomfortable. I don't even like opening presents in front of FI for birthdays or Christmas. I always feel like I don't react appropriately to the gift, like not excited enough. That's just my own anxiety though. Big part of the reason why I hope no one decides to throw me a shower. Not to mention that no one in my family will probably care what we get as gifts. It's interesting to see that this is somewhat popular in different circles.
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  • beethery said:
    jdluvr06 said:
    I don't see how this would be any more uncomfortable than a shower.
    Those make me uncomfortable too.
    Both things give me major anxiety D8

    Yeah. Showers make me uncomfortable too.
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia
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    It's common in my circles, but only with the parents and no pictures or anything public are taken. 
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  • It's common in some circles. When my cousin got married, her husband's family really wanted to do it. We were all out of town hanging out at my aunt's house and her husband's family came over the next day. It was awkward. My family gives cash, so you could see how much the checks were for and how much cash she was getting. 
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  • jdluvr06 said:
    I don't see how this would be any more uncomfortable than a shower.
     
     
    SIB
     
    It would make me a little more uncomfortable because you would likely be opening envelopes of cash/checks. I know people in my family would be paying close attention to amounts and trying to look. Since a shower is mostly boxed gifts I would be less uncomfortable. Also I picture a shower being a group of ladies, and the vibe is slightly different. If my FFIL and Dad were also there it would be weird...
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