Catholic Weddings

Readers

I have a question about readers. My FI isn't catholic but we're still having a catholic wedding. Well, shortened, but he was baptized so the only thing really missing is communion. My priest told me we could have any readers since we're having our wedding outside of mass. For my SIL she had to have all catholic readers because her's was inside since they were both catholic. Regardless, all the people we are thinking about having read are catholic so that doesn't really matter one way or another. But my question is, who reads the readings if you don't have readers? I heard from my dad that they just have members of the church come to your wedding and read them. I just wondered if any of you know who actually reads the readings if you don't have designated readers. Also, do readers usually come to the rehearsal?
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Re: Readers

  • I have never heard of church members that do not know the couple doing readings for a wedding mass although I suppose it is possible. I do know that sometimes you can request to have the church assign altar servers if the priest prefers to have one. If you do have someone assigned to read or be an altar server I would plan on paying them to do so.

    For readers the general rule is that the person doing the reading should believe in what they are reading. Of course it is up to the priest though. Readers are generally someone the couple wants to honor and is close to. We asked H's sister and his Aunt (and Godmother) to read. You should also plan on giving readers a thank you card and gift like you would the wedding party.

    Yes readers should come to the rehearsal especially if they are not familiar with the order of a Catholic ceremony. They will be told when to come up and read and likely practice a few lines with the microphone. You should also include the readers and their SOs for the rehearsal dinner.

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  • Tami87 said:
    I have never heard of church members that do not know the couple doing readings for a wedding mass although I suppose it is possible. I do know that sometimes you can request to have the church assign altar servers if the priest prefers to have one. If you do have someone assigned to read or be an altar server I would plan on paying them to do so.

    For readers the general rule is that the person doing the reading should believe in what they are reading. Of course it is up to the priest though. Readers are generally someone the couple wants to honor and is close to. We asked H's sister and his Aunt (and Godmother) to read. You should also plan on giving readers a thank you card and gift like you would the wedding party.

    Yes readers should come to the rehearsal especially if they are not familiar with the order of a Catholic ceremony. They will be told when to come up and read and likely practice a few lines with the microphone. You should also include the readers and their SOs for the rehearsal dinner.

    Thanks!! If we do decide to have them, they'd all be catholic, so I'd hope they'd be familiar with it. We'd be using my SIL (also a BM), my cousin and my FI's civil war reenacting friend.

    My church provides an alter server including in my church's fee to use it, it also includes the organist ($500).
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  • I've heard of church members doing readings for funerals (like when the family doesn't go to church or it is a tiny funeral and no one wants to do the readings,) but never for a wedding, but I suppose it's possible. The priest is also allowed to do any and all of the readings if necessary.
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  • lalaith50 said:
    I've heard of church members doing readings for funerals (like when the family doesn't go to church or it is a tiny funeral and no one wants to do the readings,) but never for a wedding, but I suppose it's possible. The priest is also allowed to do any and all of the readings if necessary.
    See, this is what I thought. That the priest would just do it, but my dad mentioned that to me. I haven't asked my priest at all though so my dad might not be right. My FI just decided now though that he definitely wants readers, so I guess that's how we're going about it. Honestly, I don't care one way or another.
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  • My family isn't Catholic, so I'm having a good friend of mine who is a lector in my parish do the first reading.  FI's sister will do the second reading.  His family will bring up the gifts.  I wish my family could participate more but at least they'll be there -  that is a HUGE step for them!  Most likely the one and only  Mass they will ever attend!!! 

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  • My family isn't Catholic, so I'm having a good friend of mine who is a lector in my parish do the first reading.  FI's sister will do the second reading.  His family will bring up the gifts.  I wish my family could participate more but at least they'll be there -  that is a HUGE step for them!  Most likely the one and only  Mass they will ever attend!!! 
    @mrsmorales2be what do you mean by the bolded?
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  • Sounds like Mrsmorales2be is having a full Mass. "The gifts" are the bread and wine that are used for Communion. It's another place in the liturgy where you can use some of the other folk who are attending.

    You can have readers for both the Scripture reading and for the intercessions (prayers of the Faithful).

    I encourage you to NOT have the priest do everything. It's such a poor sign of the collaboration and community your wedding is marking.
  • Sounds like Mrsmorales2be is having a full Mass. "The gifts" are the bread and wine that are used for Communion. It's another place in the liturgy where you can use some of the other folk who are attending.

    You can have readers for both the Scripture reading and for the intercessions (prayers of the Faithful).

    I encourage you to NOT have the priest do everything. It's such a poor sign of the collaboration and community your wedding is marking.
    gotcha, but she said she wasn't catholic that's why I was confused. We're going to have one reader and he'll do two. and then my priest will do one. No worries, we got it all figured out, minus we still need to pick our readings.
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  • She said her FAMILY isn't Catholic.  Mine isn't, either, but I am Catholic.

    We had our fathers do the readings.  FIL did the OT, and my dad did the NT.
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  • Out of curiosity, do the readers have to be Catholic?  I am unsure either way, so don't quote me on this.  But, I thought I heard somewhere that you can have a reader at a wedding who is Christian or Jewish as long as they believe in the part they are reading.  Has anyone else heard of this?  We're having all Catholic readers anyways, but I'd like to know.  
  • Out of curiosity, do the readers have to be Catholic?  I am unsure either way, so don't quote me on this.  But, I thought I heard somewhere that you can have a reader at a wedding who is Christian or Jewish as long as they believe in the part they are reading.  Has anyone else heard of this?  We're having all Catholic readers anyways, but I'd like to know.  
    It's really up to the discretion of the priest.  A lot of priests are fine with non-Catholic christians or even Jewish people doing the readings, but some priests want only Catholics.

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  • Out of curiosity, do the readers have to be Catholic?  I am unsure either way, so don't quote me on this.  But, I thought I heard somewhere that you can have a reader at a wedding who is Christian or Jewish as long as they believe in the part they are reading.  Has anyone else heard of this?  We're having all Catholic readers anyways, but I'd like to know.  
    In my church, if you're having a wedding in mass, the readers must be catholic, outside of mass, it doesn't matter.
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  • Tami87Tami87 member
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    Ditto Moneysip, it is really up to the priest. Our priest did not require that our readers be Catholic. We had one Catholic reader (H's Godmother) and then H's sister who was raised Catholic but now attends a non-denominational church. However, I do think it is a good general rule that those asked to do readings should believe in what they are reading.
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