Wedding Party

Title for baby neice

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Re: Title for baby neice

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    kmmssg said:
    Jen4948 said:
    Honestly, not everyone is into babies or "cuteness," and it wastes the time of those who have to watch as someone not old enough to consent to participation in his/her own right, who won't understand its significance for years to come or remember what's going on now, and who can't get up and down the aisle on their own, has to be carried by someone and be listed in some program with some made-up title just to be "cute."
    OP never said the child was coming down the aisle.  She just wanted a title for her for the program and website.

    What on Earth is the big deal here anyway ladies?  If you consider a 30 second walk down the aisle (which OP never mentioned) a waste of your time, YOU are showing some seriously bad etiquette.  You agreed to come to a wedding - if you are going to snark and gossip about a 30 second walk (which was never mentioned) OR gossip about a title given to the groom's niece out of loving intentions you need to check yourself.

    This is about the most harmless thing out there.   
     
    Edited to add Miss Manners thoughts:
     
    Dear Miss manners - My fiance and Iare trying to finalize the members of the wedding party.  Should the ring bearer and the flower girl be a  certain age or is it up to each couple to decide?
     
    Gentle Reader - The ring bearer and the flower girl are supposed to be of an age to make everyone smile and nudge one another and say, "Awwwww, looooooook" during the processional.  A mere "Don't they look cute?" with no extra letters in the pronunciation means that the young pepol are old enough to be junior bridesmaid and usher.
     
    What age produces the desired effect is something that the bridal couple may decide.
     
     
     
     
    It's gonna take more than 30 seconds to walk down the aisle for a very small kid, and if someone has to carry the kid, it takes them a while too.  People carrying babies often need more than 30 seconds.

    Also, @kmmssg, so what about Miss Manners?  We are talking about a baby without a title, not a ring bearer or flower girl, and even if we were, I still stand by my opinion that any kid in the wedding should be old enough to participate on his or her own without assistance and be able to consent to what they're being asked to do.  Babies cannot do that, regardless of how "cute" the couple thinks it is.
  • If it is ok in the etiquette world there is no harm no foul in doing it and any guest who can't handle that for such a small amount of time is exhibiting some rude etiquette of their own.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    kmmssg said:
    If it is ok in the etiquette world there is no harm no foul in doing it and any guest who can't handle that for such a small amount of time is exhibiting some rude etiquette of their own.
    Bullshit.  Not every guest who "can't handle that for such a small amount of time" speaks up about it, but that doesn't mean that their silence makes them "exhibiting some rude etiquette of their own."

    You exaggerate here as much as you claim those opposed to putting babies in wedding ceremonies do, and you're unnecessarily accusatory.  Not being supportive of the idea of having babies in a wedding ceremony is not "exhibiting some rude etiquette of [one's] own."  People are allowed to disagree without being called rude, and I am exercising my right to do so.
  • Pepper6Pepper6 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Well this escalated quickly....

    OP, I certainly don't think it's 'wrong' to include the baby in the program, but keep in mind that it could just be a little confusing for people reading the program to see a name and not match it to a person in the ceremony (I'm assuming you would just have her name and 'title' and no mention of the fact that she's an infant and not actually participating in the ceremony).

    What it comes down to really is that it's just unnecessary.  Sure, you could include her, but I promise no one will notice if you don't.  In the interest of keeping things clear and simple for your guests, I'd probably opt to skip doing this and just be sure to take a few pictures with her, which is something you'll both appreciate more as she's older than knowing she was listed with an arbitrary title in a wedding program that no one keeps or even remembers after the day is done.
  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    "Confusion" as a guest at a wedding is dependent on the relationship between the guest and the couple.  If I am close family and read that Baby SIL is an honorary flower girl, I would think, "How sweet."  If I did not know the family ties of the couple, and had a genuine curiosity, I am capable of asking a quick question.  My third option would be to dismiss it as a non-issue.  No harm.  No foul.

    The same "confusion" could be said for just about any other wedding circumstance. Who walks the bride up the aisle, if anyone...who participates in spot light dances....did the couple omit garter tosses, toasts.....the list could go on and on. 

    Mountains out of mole hills here.  Victimless crime.
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