Help with table assignments, please!!

KGold80 · May 2014

We are still about 9 days out from our RSVP deadline, but I am working on preliminary table assignments. It's tricky because both of our parents are divorced and all but my mom are remarried. I often see advice to allow parents to host their own tables, but my mom ends up being the odd duck because other than her kids and grandkids, she will have no family or friends in attendance (her side of the family is overseas). She and my dad and stepmom are on pretty good terms and I considered seating them at the same table so they can all sit with my brother and his family, but would that seem weird?

I'm not sure yet if my grandmother will come because she has Alzheimer's and may be having a bad day, but if she comes I would definitely need to put her with my dad and other people she is familiar with so she doesn't get more confused, so that takes up the extra spaces with my brother. So then where do I put my mom? Maybe with my FIL's?

What "rules" did you follow when assigning seats or tables? Any tips, particularly for those with complicated parent situations like mine?

lyndausvi · May 2014

I would put her with your dad if they get along. What size tables are you using. If there is one larger can you make that table a larger one.

I had different sized tables to make for odd numbered tables.

KGold80 · May 2014

They are 60" rounds. I'm trying to keep them at 8 per table as much as possible, but with no fewer than 6. I've heard that 9 is even a bit tight.

I think I am just going to ask my mom if she feels more comfortable sitting with my FILs (she knows them) or with my dad and stepmom.

And what on earth do you do with the vendors? I don't want them to feel like second class citizens or anything, but my guest tables are pretty full due to couples and large families. Should I have a small table setup for them at the back of the room? There are only 3 of them.

Also, we've invited two families that are my kids' friends, but they don't know each other due to the kids being different ages. My kids will be at our table so we can eat together as a family. Should i just put those two families together? Interestingly enough, both sets of kids are twins so at least that is something the moms have in common. This table is somewhere I could put the vendors, but that might make these people feel that we think less of them if they have to sit with "the help", no?

Jen4948 · May 2014

Are any close personal friends of your mom attending your wedding? If so, why not have her sit with them?

Yes, I would have a table for the vendors in an inconspicuous place in the room.

No, I wouldn't put these two families together unless they have something in common besides twins and/or neither family knows anyone else there. And I also wouldn't seat vendors with them.

KGold80 · May 2014

Jen4948 said:
Are any close personal friends of your mom attending your wedding? If so, why not have her sit with them?

Yes, I would have a table for the vendors in an inconspicuous place in the room.

No, I wouldn't put these two families together unless they have something in common besides twins and/or neither family knows anyone else there. And I also wouldn't seat vendors with them.

No, my mom doesn't have any friends attending. She isn't particularly social and being the only single among the parents makes her feel awkward. There isn't much I can do about that, unfortunately. You'd think the MOB would be the easiest person to seat, right? *sigh*

The two families with twins have nothing else in common and don't know anyone other than us and our kids. Their children are our kids' closest friends, which is why they are invited. I just haven't seen anywhere else that makes sense to put them. The other families with kids are too large to add a group of 3 to their tables. I don't want the moms to feel like they are shafted at the kids' table.

We want our kids to sit with us because they are our kids and members of the WP, but maybe it would be better to have a sweetheart table (ugh!) and let our two youngest sit with their friends. Our oldest can be seated with family as can my MOH and her husband. I really don't want to do that though.

I'm trying to be as considerate as possible, but it is kind of tricky to figure out where to put non-family because those people don't always know each other.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

KGold80 said:

They are 60" rounds. I'm trying to keep them at 8 per table as much as possible, but with no fewer than 6. I've heard that 9 is even a bit tight. I think I am just going to ask my mom if she feels more comfortable sitting with my FILs (she knows them) or with my dad and stepmom. And what on earth do you do with the vendors? I don't want them to feel like second class citizens or anything, but my guest tables are pretty full due to couples and large families. Should I have a small table setup for them at the back of the room? There are only 3 of them. Also, we've invited two families that are my kids' friends, but they don't know each other due to the kids being different ages. My kids will be at our table so we can eat together as a family. Should i just put those two families together? Interestingly enough, both sets of kids are twins so at least that is something the moms have in common. This table is somewhere I could put the vendors, but that might make these people feel that we think less of them if they have to sit with "the help", no?

For the vendors I had a table placed near the DJ booth so that the DJ could sit down & eat but still be near his equipment to change music up as needed. The photographer joined him. Since they basically only sat while eating, I wasn't worried sitting them with people they would get along with.

Help with table assignments, please!!

Re: Help with table assignments, please!!

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